Replacing destructive memories with new ones... *all trigs*

[Licentia Poetica]

I just thought of an idea, wondering if this would work as a thread.

Take a bad memory, something that's distressing or destructive to you, and describe it (though be aware that triggers such as SA, etc still apply)

Then, think of a new memory. Something happy, that makes you feel content, or comforted, or hopeful, and describe that and how it makes you feel. You don't have to come up with it straight away - you can wait and come back to it.

Try to mentally replace one with the other so that in future thinking about your bad memory, you realise that there are still good ones to be made.

The memories can be really significant, or just little things.

[Licentia Poetica]

Okay..

My bad memory is lying in bed, very down, feeling hopeless. I'd been crying so much I had a headache, and my pillow was soaked. And I fell asleep desperately hoping I wouldn't wake up.

My new memory is being on the bus yesterday, and happening to look out the window to a patch of grass by the road, and saw a possum happily hopping around in the grass from one tree to the next. And it made me smile. And I was glad I was there to see it.

[StevieLynn]

Ooh, I like this idea! Let's see if I can do this:

OK, my old memory has abuse trigs
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Being nine years old, hiding in a corner of my bedroom in the dark, crying to beat all hell because I had just been beaten and felt as though no one in the world loved me
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End trigs

New memory:

Being at camp, serenading by candle light on a Friday night, stars sparkling so brightly overhead, and receiving hugs from the campers I had influenced that summer, and realizing that I was loved.

[susanM]

Ooh er, wonderful idea el, me likes very much!

Ok bad memory...eek
SU spoiler
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My first year of university, having been in deep darkness for a long time I made a clear decision that I didn't want to live any more. I remember waking up the day that I had decided to carry out my plan and making the preparations for it in a calm detached way. The calmness is what distresses me most when I think about it.


Good memory *thinks* there are a few that might be good.

Ok the first night of a holiday with my parents in Montreal. We arrived about 7 or 8pm and my mum was exhausted and jetlagged so decided to go to bed after unpacking etc. So it was just me and my dad, we weren't tired and decided to go out and explore. At about 9 or 10 we stumbled on a free open air jazz performance, a guy playing the trumpet and a band. Just a happy accident, we had no idea that it would be on and it was totally magical. It was a warm night,the crowd were so happy and I was with my dad. I felt lucky to be there. Thinking about that reminds me that joyful experiences are possible.

Thanks so much el this is great idea.

[teacher2B]

Ooh--I like this thread.

I'm going to make my memories related. They're both about my father.

****Abuse trig*****







When I was 17, my dad told me my mom was suicidal, it was my fault, and that if I "messed up" again, I'd have to find another place to live. That was the first time I really si'd.





****end trig****


But, now I'm 22 and my dad is flying about 1200 miles to help me move back home with them 'cause I lost my job. He's going to pay for a moving truch and drive it all 1200 miles back home with my stuff while I follow in my car. That shows how much he loves me and how much our relationship has grown in the last five years.

[heartonmysleave]

bad memory: sitting in the hospital A+E, crying so hard I couldn't breath, just feeling so desperate. so utterly panicked. so alone. at 4am, with all the staff treating me like s**t because I'd come in because I'd SI'd.

Good memory: sitting on a beach, watching seals swim by, and jump out of the water because they were curious about what we were doing on the beach. it was so peaceful, and they were so beutiful.

[Licentia Poetica]

Bad memory: Sitting in French class having a godawful panic attack wishing the world would cave in and the floor would swallow me up. Just feeling absolutely breakdown bad and hoping I would die as soon as possible.

Good memory: Getting out of my French speaking exam last Wednesday, chatting a bit with some people from my class, feeling half confident I didn't fail, and my speaker partner telling me she thought I did well.

[mywildrainbow]

*****SA*****




Bad memory: being molested in the kitchen and then having $1.00 thrown at me because that's what I was worth


Good memory: watching my 7 year old neice play with my 1 year old neice or seeing my 1 month old nephew sleep

[Stripe]

Bad memory

SA

I don't feel strong enough to post it right now...

Good memory

Finding J, who has been a massive support, and chatting to her

[Callisto]

bad memory:

being bullied at school and having words like fat, whore, worthless etc shouted at me by people i had thought were my friends.

good memory:

meeting angie and several other new people and being treated as a human being not something to be jeered at.

[Licentia Poetica]

bump

[disastercake]

I hadn't seen this. Thanks for the bump




Bad memory:
After my first fiance (and first love) dumped me over the phone and feeling like I didn't know how I was going to go on. Crying every time I was alone (I functioned daily and no one even knew except one friend until a couple months after) so hard that I couldn't breathe, was physically in pain, and feeling utterly helpless like I would never feel better.



Good memory:
Every single memory I've had of going places I want, making new friends and reconnecting with old because there's no one else to tell me no or I can't or making me worry about what they want to do.

[volta]

bad memory:
i was lying in my bed shaking so hard because my stepdad and sister were arguing and screaming in the hallway.

good memory:
falling asleep on the beach, watching the stars with my best friend as she tried to find all the constellations.

[capricorn]

Bad: my ex ... best friend/girlfriend/something ... trying to pressure me into kissing her.


Good: my girlfriend and me cuddling on my sofa and giggling for absurdly long periods of time.

[peanutbutter]

I like this idea.
Bad memory:


Watching my niece take her last breaths in the hospital and feeling like someone was standing on my chest.


Good Memory:

Watching my niece swimming in the lake and having the time of her life.

[capricorn]

Bad:

[SI]

Sitting in my bedroom with my ex and her craft scissors, cutting each other. And her laughing at me when I said it hurt and I was scared.
If memory serves, I was thirteen.

[/SI]

Good:

One of my best friends hugging me and congratulating me on passing 3 years clean.

[styled_wrong]

i like this

bad memory - (su)

feeling so utterly desperate, attempting su and feeling crap cos id failed.


good memory

passing my degree and getting my dream job

[zyn]

*SA*
Bad: Waiting for him to come to me, hoping he would, hoping he wouldn't.
*/SA*

Good: Lying on the beach reading, yesterday.