Just One Victory - Coping With Substance Abuse Problems

[StarChild]

3.5 years sober today!! YAAAAAY

[childofchaos831]

yay loki. i have like 2 weeks i think.

[Spidey]

[StarChild]

i just celebrated 4 years. it is bittersweet as I am currently struggling with an eating disorder as well, and was in the ER on the day before my anniversary.

but i celebrated and I am so happy and my mom only cried a little this year. (Ever since menopause she cries a LOT. XD)

[childofchaos831]

Yay Loki! I'm a little over 6 mos sober now, but struggle saying that because I still SI and indulge in disordered eating most days. I get it, but for me, I still separate the using/drinking from the "psychiatric" stuff...

[childofchaos831]

ya so, that last post is no longer accurate. i drank last night, crap, i don't know if i wanna stop, i kinda just want to keep going. i wanna keep drinking. i don't think i'm ready to stop just yet.

[childofchaos831]

day one.

hoping that i can do it this time.

[Spidey]

One day at a time - or one hour, one minute, or one second - that's all you need to put one foot (or toe, or toenail, or finger, or fingertip) in front of the other to keep going.

[Spidey]

Hey, wondering how everyone (old and new) is doing?

Celebrate your victories! Anything - one hour, one day, one week, etc - is Just One Victory. You can do it!

Post your progress!

[StarChild]

I have an issue related to substance abuse.

I have been sober for 4 years. My drugs of choice were depressants/sedatives. I used alcohol, street drugs, and abused some of my prescriptions.

Fast forward 4 years. I'm working with a psychiatrist I really like, but recently she put me on an antipsychotic that is very sedative for me. I was having SERIOUS bipolar "swings" (I don't want to call them mood swings because it's so much more than that) and she suggested this one. As soon as I started taking it, it got me REALLY sedated and sleepy and calm. Not quite the "warm blanket" or "buzzed" feelings I used to chase, but close enough that it made me feel "not sober." I told my doctor and she insisted I keep taking it because I "need" it.

EDITED TO ADD: It really has helped with my bipolar, and I haven't had any other side effects.

I finally told my sponsor and she said "Your doctor prescribed it. Take it as prescribed and give it time. Your body will adjust to it." But I still don't feel sober, I feel like I'm relapsing.

Help?

xx loki

[roseleaf]

That sounds really unsettling and hard to deal with. I'm a bit surprised your pdoc didn't decide to try you on a different med that might be less tricky for you to deal with, but I guess she must have a reason for that. I wonder if it'd be worth asking the question? For me, it's sometimes easier - or at least feels more worth making the effort - if I know *why* I'm supposed to do something! Or I don't know if there'd be any way of getting some extra support while you're taking this? I guess it's possible that that effect could settle down after a while? (don't know how long you've been on it)

[StarChild]

That sounds really unsettling and hard to deal with. I'm a bit surprised your pdoc didn't decide to try you on a different med that might be less tricky for you to deal with, but I guess she must have a reason for that. I wonder if it'd be worth asking the question? For me, it's sometimes easier - or at least feels more worth making the effort - if I know *why* I'm supposed to do something! Or I don't know if there'd be any way of getting some extra support while you're taking this? I guess it's possible that that effect could settle down after a while? (don't know how long you've been on it)

Thanks, roseleaf. I'm surprised by my pdoc too. She did say that later we'll try to get me on a different antipsychotic, but she wants me on this until I stabilize.

I've been on it about 12-14 days. I've actually been on this one before, and in past experience, the sedative feeling does fade after a few weeks. So I guess I know it'll calm down.

It's just unsettling to suddenly be so sedated at night, after years of hard work to avoid that very feeling!

ETA: I do know that there are at least two reasons I'm on this one:

- to make sure I sleep (so duh, of course she wants me on something sedative)
- to stabilize after a manic episode

[childofchaos831]

30 days today! It has been hard... I haven't been able to really go to AA at all for this whole month...

The first day I didn't have anything was 9/9, and on the way to a speaker meeting on 9/10, where a good friend would be telling their story, I got broad-sided at an intersection...

The other driver ran a red light at 40mph or so, didn't hit her brakes at all, and slammed into the passenger back door of my car. I saw her maybe 1 sec before she hit me, and I believe I tried to floor it thru the intersection... all I know is that once I stopped spinning and came to rest halfway on the median, I was still flooring the gas.

I have a concussion and whiplash, and may have nerve damage or a herniated disc in my neck from it... my PCP wants me to be on bedrest, I just cannot do that... I would go insane... but I have limited how much I leave the house and such... which means no meetings.

But I made it, and I am at a meeting this morning, to get my chip... and I hope to go to my other meeting tomorrow night, to get my keytag.

[Spidey]

Congrats childofchaos! (I forget if you have a preferred name...sorry!)

[childofchaos831]

thanks! chaos works, but i answer to most anything, heheh...

[StarChild]

Chaos, I'm so sorry to hear about your car accident, but I am so happy for you being sober! 30 days is fantastic! I promise, it'll get easier soon. The longer we stay sober, the easier it gets.

[childofchaos831]

yep, hoping I can stay at the club long enough to go to my NA meeting, and get my keytag... my neck is already bothering me pretty bad, and my head is hurting...

[StarChild]

I don't know if this is the right place to post it, but I have 11.5 days free of smoking

[StarChild]

i have gotten my first serious sponsee! I am so honored to be a sponsor. This is something I've wanted to do from day one. I'm meeting with her tomorrow, we're going to get coffee and talk and maybe read from the Big Book.

xx loki

[smud]

Alcoholism sucks.