Someone in my head

[Lillia]

Hi, I don't know if this is the right place to be posting this but I'm a bit worried and I think I need some advice but I'm not sure where to get it so ... Basically, I've been recovering from depression over the past few months. It hit me hard in the Winter months but I've been more stable recently and I've been coping so much better. But increasingly, I've had the feeling that someone else is in my head. I used to get a similar but much weaker feeling during times of nihilistic anxiety. I would think nothing exists and that I didn't exist or all the people and things around me didn't exist so it felt like someone else had made all these things up. Back then, I was mainly disturbed by the feeling that nothing was real and once that was gone, I'd feel better. But not it sometimes feels like someone is inside my mind. I don't know how else to describe it. I feel real but I also feel like there is a real person inside my head. She's quite quiet at the moment but she's really horrible. I'm just really scared. Because she's never been as real as she is now. I was just wondering if anyone knew what's going on?

[Spidey]

Sounds, to me, like you might be dissociating a bit? It's not uncommon to go on a kind of depressive "autopilot" when things get too rough.

[childofchaos831]

do you have a pdoc? sounds like dissociation to me too. i have a dissociative disorder, on the severe end of the spectrum. but dissociative disorders are a spectrum. only a pdoc can really say what is going on, based on how honest you are with them.

coffee

[WalkingStick]

I agree with the above posters.
I used to dissociate a lot and now that I'm off meds it's starting to come back and I'm noticing another Presence within me. My therapist says we can work to integrate us. I'm hoping he's right.
I definitely recommend bringing this up with a pdoc and/or therapist.

[Lillia]

I used to see a counselor quite regularly but I haven't made another appointment with her. I saw a therapist last year when I was at my worst. I always find it extremely difficult to talk about things like that though. I feel ok talking over the depressive feelings and the anxiety to a certain extent but I suppose I don't know how to bring up things like this. I don't really know how to describe it either. It's not like I'm hearing voices or anything. There's just someone in my head.

[treasure]

i think if you find a professional therapist who works well with you, it doesn't need to make sense what you say, they will help you deal with what you are experiencing without judgment or pushing a diagnosis.

i'm sorry this is difficult and scary.

[Lillia]

I talked to my GP about this yesterday and she says it probably is dissociation but she's going to talk to a psychiatrist just to make sure. She's a really good GP and I felt ok about talking to her. She asked loads of questions too which I find helps me to talk more.