Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
- tkdtiger
- building community
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- Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2004 5:09 am
- Gender: gender fluid
- Location: Essex Jct., VT
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
I'm sick of being talked to like I'm a child. Yes, you are 17 years older than me, but we are both still adults. I know I'm not great with social situations, especially ones with men. I tend to put my foot in my mouth, I own it, I know it. Still it doesn't call for treating me like a child. It annoys me and makes me not want to be around the group anymore if you're going to be there. Please treat me like the adult that I am, not the child you think I am.
*gender orientation*
I hate it when you talk about what I wear. It really hurt when you told me that I was a good candidate for What Not to wear. I laughed with you but really it hurt inside. I know that I the things I wear aren't very "girly." There are a lot of reasons for that, one is that I don't have a lot of money to get new clothes. Buying men's pant are much cheaper and comfortable for me to wear at work. Two, something you don't know about me that almost no one does is that I don't always feel like I'm a girl. Sometimes I feel like I'm more of a guy. I am gender fluid. I am more comfortable with my body when I cover it up and wear guys clothing. I think women's clothes are designed so men can oogle at women and get their visual fix on what we have. I don't want people looking at me like that. If that means I'm never to have a relationship again because I won't wear women's clothes so be it. This is me and if you don't like it too bad.
*gender orientation*
I hate it when you talk about what I wear. It really hurt when you told me that I was a good candidate for What Not to wear. I laughed with you but really it hurt inside. I know that I the things I wear aren't very "girly." There are a lot of reasons for that, one is that I don't have a lot of money to get new clothes. Buying men's pant are much cheaper and comfortable for me to wear at work. Two, something you don't know about me that almost no one does is that I don't always feel like I'm a girl. Sometimes I feel like I'm more of a guy. I am gender fluid. I am more comfortable with my body when I cover it up and wear guys clothing. I think women's clothes are designed so men can oogle at women and get their visual fix on what we have. I don't want people looking at me like that. If that means I'm never to have a relationship again because I won't wear women's clothes so be it. This is me and if you don't like it too bad.
Hugs always welcome
- Birdie
- quintessential regular
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Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
You. Are. Still. In. My. Head. Everywhere. I. Turn.
I don't know that I'll ever be able to look at myself the same after you.
To be honest, I REALLY wish we'd never met.....
I don't know that I'll ever be able to look at myself the same after you.
To be honest, I REALLY wish we'd never met.....
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=143006
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Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
I'm so disappointed with you. I thought you were different. I thought this could turn into something good. I thought you were a nice person, who could treat me with respect. I was wrong. Meeting someone like you makes me lose hope. I'm so sad and empty right now. Why do you behave like this...
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
You have four grand in savings. Why are you whining about money?
For among these winters there is one so endlessly winter
that only by wintering through it all will your heart survive.
~Rainer Maria Rilke
My place
that only by wintering through it all will your heart survive.
~Rainer Maria Rilke
My place
- mande
- forum moderator - life after & place
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Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Last night was my nightmare. All. Over. Again. Now I'm having to think forward to where I'd live if we end up ending this.
I hate you right now. Honestly.
I hate you right now. Honestly.
- tkdtiger
- building community
- Posts: 566
- Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2004 5:09 am
- Gender: gender fluid
- Location: Essex Jct., VT
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
I'm done, totally done with bullshit from you and everyone else. I refuse to talk to you or anyone else from the group if I can help it. I'm sick of you acting like you care to save face in front of the group. Then when I go to you when I actually need help or even just a hug you ignore me like I don't exist or pretend you can't or don't have time. I'm done with the bullshit. I'm done with the group. Screw you all.
Hugs always welcome
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
I could have fallen in love with you. I'm so sad you don't feel the same way about me
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Why do I get myself into the same situation over and over
I thought this was different. I've been surprised where every time I saw you, you were always new to me, you didn't bring up old fears or feelings.
But you are not very good at all. And I was stupid to put myself in this situation.
And now you have humiliated me and I feel awful, but I was stupid and this was predictable.
I thought you would be different but apparently I am so demented that I have no idea how to appraise these things.
I can't trust myself to have good instincts. I can maybe only trust myself to make good decisions after the fact.
Things are damaged now, maybe beyond repair. I have no idea what to think.
I thought this was different. I've been surprised where every time I saw you, you were always new to me, you didn't bring up old fears or feelings.
But you are not very good at all. And I was stupid to put myself in this situation.
And now you have humiliated me and I feel awful, but I was stupid and this was predictable.
I thought you would be different but apparently I am so demented that I have no idea how to appraise these things.
I can't trust myself to have good instincts. I can maybe only trust myself to make good decisions after the fact.
Things are damaged now, maybe beyond repair. I have no idea what to think.
"What we see is not reality in itself, but reality exposed to our method of questioning." Werner Heisenberg, 1901
"It went wrong.
But you are still here.
So it went right, too."
~Nisi
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
It's all very well for you to call me your 'cheerleader', but you drain me.
For among these winters there is one so endlessly winter
that only by wintering through it all will your heart survive.
~Rainer Maria Rilke
My place
that only by wintering through it all will your heart survive.
~Rainer Maria Rilke
My place
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Sorry for my text-spam
- Just Pomegranates
- forum moderator emeritus
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- Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 11:24 pm
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
I feel really dispensable right now. Like people see as someone that's easy to replace whenever they feel like it/something better comes along. And that really makes me feel like shit when I already feel crap tonight.
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” - Dalai Lama XIV
“The shark that does not swim, drowns.” - Russian Proverb
“The shark that does not swim, drowns.” - Russian Proverb
- Birdie
- quintessential regular
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- Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:34 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: United States
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
You're wrong about me. But you'll never know that because you don't care. I know I've made mistakes and acted a damn fool and I'm sorry. But I never recognized myself when I was with you.
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=143006
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Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
So overwhelmed. Wasn't supposed to feel like this. My life was set.
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
I don't know what to say to you anymore.
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
I miss you SO much I hope you miss me too...
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Wobaby, you've learned well.
Thank you, grow.
Thank you, grow.
-marya hornbacher
spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)
- Just Pomegranates
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 4777
- Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 11:24 pm
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Thanks for making me feel like shit for another consecutive day in a row.
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” - Dalai Lama XIV
“The shark that does not swim, drowns.” - Russian Proverb
“The shark that does not swim, drowns.” - Russian Proverb
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
After everytime you hurt me and made me feel so worthless and pathetic ..
Like I'd never meet someone I actually meant something too..
I have! She's incredible and a thousand times the person you will ever be ..
And right now I'm on cloud freaking nine cause I get to see my beautiful girlfriend and our amazing little girl tomorrow ...
Nothing like the feeling of shame I used to get for wanting to be around you.
She's made me not need to feel ashamed or need to hide .. My sister and my aunt think the world of her and my nephews love her to pieces .. And for the first time I know what it means to love and be loved unconditionally.
Like I'd never meet someone I actually meant something too..
I have! She's incredible and a thousand times the person you will ever be ..
And right now I'm on cloud freaking nine cause I get to see my beautiful girlfriend and our amazing little girl tomorrow ...
Nothing like the feeling of shame I used to get for wanting to be around you.
She's made me not need to feel ashamed or need to hide .. My sister and my aunt think the world of her and my nephews love her to pieces .. And for the first time I know what it means to love and be loved unconditionally.
If you think outside the box there's no such thing as square one.
No matter which sleeve you wear your heart,
Whichever way you wear your crown,
Tomorrow is another day to turn it all around
I will stop when I'm ready I'll shown everyone my cards
But for now I'll keep on playing even when the game gets hard.
19/07/1952 - 30/12/2013 Never Ever Forgotten
13/05/14 - I Love Her
19/4/15 - The Day I Said Yes
17/06/17 - Rings swapped, Hearts interlocked
<-- Marlo & Mookau-->
Caffiene Addict since 2004
Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6
Fuck off. Just. Fuck. Off.
For among these winters there is one so endlessly winter
that only by wintering through it all will your heart survive.
~Rainer Maria Rilke
My place
that only by wintering through it all will your heart survive.
~Rainer Maria Rilke
My place
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