Secrets Thread - Read first post!

[Lofticries]

I don't really do secrets... but I have kept a lot of things from my boyfriend.

Involving my mental illness.
And out sex life.

I'm terrible at confrontations and I can't deal with that sort of thing, especially since for some stupid reason I lied to start off with. I feel horrible for doing it though and wish I could confide in him.

[elizabethpoe31]

My face is a mess I need to STOP picking at it. But it's so HARD.

[Kaleb]

I used to be the only one who understood you enough for you to open up.
Now I'm the reason you don't feel it's safe too.
I deserve to suffer for how I've made you feel.

[roseleaf]

I don't think I can survive this.

[elizabethpoe31]

Don't know how everyone else has this crazy drive to get things done and be productive.

[Just Pomegranates]

That's the first time any guy aside from a doctor has seen me without a top/bra on and I'm 22.

I feel like I should be ashamed of that somehow.

[TheRockingHorse]

I am in love with my teacher. She is my role model, friend, and greatest confidant. I'm disgusting for the thoughts.

[roseleaf]

I want to stop trying. I don't want to have to take responsibility for myself any more.

[mande]

I waffle between "I love you" and "I'm glad we're only what we are" often, but in reality I'm just glad we're so close and that we have each other.
I wouldn't have gotten through all of this without you.

[roseleaf]

I want someone to give me permission to die.

[xPeggiePatchx]

The last time I spoke to you, you said, "thank god says you" when everyone else came over.
You thought I didn't want to be there.
That wasn't true. I was so glad we were spending some time together., but I never showed you.
For that, I will never, ever forgive myself.

I'm so sorry. I love you.


I miss you.

[stereo.vision]

I am only just now understanding the depths of your abuse, and I feel sick at the thought of what I let you do to me. But I still miss you.

[treasure]

my sister is losing weight and i'm jealous. every time she mentions calories, weight, food or exercise, it seems like she can't help but frame it as "food is bad" which make me worry about her maybe having an ed, and also makes me feel worthless for not being in control of my weight, eating way more than she does. envy hurts but i don't know what to do because i don't think i have the motivation or desire to be healthy but i still hate the way i am.

[TheRockingHorse]

if this works, then it really is all my fault

[PokemonGeek]

Sometimes I wonder if my cry of help I had in class during high school (which no one even noticed) make me a bad person because I did it for the desire and need of one of my peers to actually listen to me and show someone actually cared about my well-being at the time while my life was literally falling apart?

[awkward-shark]

I'm afraid I will never be happy again. I'm afraid of going to therapy this tursday, she's still a psicology student but I can't pay a professional.

[Spidey]

You don't know how dark it is.

[StarChild]

I feel like I've betrayed my parents and all their support by slipping back into SI.

[carbonhawker]

i hope when you find out it hurts.

[treasure]

i'm glad i can use work as an excuse if my extended family asks why i'm not there for xmas/holidays.

i don't love them, like them or want to be around them but that's 90% my screwed up brain and lack of familiarity with real social interaction, not their fault. i don't know if it's better to be distant the way i am (for years/over a decade) or to cut them off completely.