Before

[ultimate starshine]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

The situation will not change. For a while it will let me release the hurt and the anger that im feeling. It will get rid of the urges i have had all day.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

it will bring an element of calmness to the situation. It will take away my pride and will add feelings of shame and annoyance.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

I want to feel like the problems have gone from my head. I want to feel happy and calm and not hurt anymore. I want to get rid of the anger i have inside of me. I will get me both closer and further away.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

the relief will last about half an hour usually and then i will just want to hurt muself again

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

I could carry on talking to friends and listening to my music.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

I will feel absolutely horrible tomorrow if i harm myself. I will feel a bit better if i do the other things.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

right now i really really want to self harm. Or to punish myself in some way for letting myself feel like this in the first place.


Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

I feel like i deserve it. I feel like it is the only thing which will make me feel alive anymore.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

I was here the other day and the thing i did to help it was self injure. I felt fantastic for a while and then i felt very down and ashamed of myself.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

so far i have gone around my room destroying things that makes me think of him. he broke my heart so i broke the things he gave me. I can punch pillows I can write in my diary I can go to sleep or i can try to distract myself as best i can.

How do I feel right now?

I feel hurt and heartbroken. I feel fat and disgusting. I feel absolutely worthless and stupid and like i dont want to be anymore.

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

I will feel pain but a different pain. I will feel calmer. I will feel in control

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

afterwards I will realise that actually i dont control my SI. my SI controls me. tomorrow morning i will feel awful.

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

distract myself before i get to this point. talk to people. text the samaritans. keep myself busy somehow.

Do I need to hurt myself?

in theory no. But tonight i really feel like i need to. becuase i deserve to.