place 2 vent=hopefully to get what you need

[sunflowerwoman]

i noticed that there is continual chronic pain forum, random little forums for
people want individual things(ie:hugs,comfort,unsafe) BUT not a place to just
vent what is going on for you at the moment.

i placed a topic and post in the "place" but no responses.....
don't know if i need to give it some time or it's just the language
in it & stuff, and needs to be edited...

but maybe with this forum people can feel a place to let it out and get
some more postitive feelings,sayings, and/or expressions back.

[sunflowerwoman]

so this week has been BAD.....
the postive thing of this week.....NO CUTTING at all!!!!

next comment, only, will be small in case you don't want to read
****triggers:sh,od although there was overmedicating, driving excessively, and texting while driving(illegal in ca)

work=ok
drama and emotional isuues=BAD,effed

my psych left me after 4 yrs.....let me back up...
i'm in the county system for health care. it is going through MAJOR changes.
she left me week and a half ago and my C(counselor) and I can't find her.
Got assigned to a new one when my orginal appt was supposed to be on wed.
Clinic called to reschedule my appt and i went in yesterday, fri.
Got there early and after sitting there for about 15 min(which isn't unusual) they told me dr was out on an emergency.
Which he wasn't b/c he wrote me a script AND walked by me and i saw him at his car listening to music and eating!!
I had been off this med for 3 days already so has having a difficult time already.
For the last 2 wks have had multiple mood swings, which is unusual for me.
So they gave me a slip to get my med(anti-anixiety) BUT only for 5 days and then i HAVE to go back in.
They will see me only mon or tues which both days I CAN'T TAKE OFF.
I had left fri work early so that i could go. I tried to talk to them and tell them that i couldn't come in like that.
See the thing is i work as a nanny....so i can't just take off.
At this point 40 min later i was stilling lossing it (upset, crying, and yelling; last 2 I LITERALLY never do).
I ended up leaving b/c if I continued there it would have ended me up in the hospital (which I HATE w/ a passion).
So have my med BUT no appt,uuuugugggggghhhhh!

All I can say is.....
I'M NOT in the hospital
I'M NOT cutting
I'M NOT overmedicating at the moment
and
I'M FEELING (which is the hardest thing ever)

BUT i still feel bad, frustrated, sad, and worthless

[xXelmoscaresmeXx]

...I'm unsure of this thread...it doesn't seem like the fluffy, open, safe type of thing that is the nest...But I can see it being helpful...just maybe not in the nest?

[magicmum]

Moved with the OPs permission here to Coping - this is a much better fit than the Nest, and I am sure heaps of posters will respond.

Sometimes we all need to just let out what and how we are feeling, even if no-one replies just the act of letting it go can somtimes be a help in itself.


magicmum

[xXelmoscaresmeXx]

thank you for the move.

A letter to Steph's daddy
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How could you not tell me I have a four-year-old half brother?
I mean really? I'm your fucking daughter! You fucking have my email. I check it every fucking day. Why does he get the father that I never had? Why does he get your love? IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT THAT YOU "WEREN'T READY" FOR A KID WHEN YOU HAD ME! Stop acting like that. You stopped all your bad habits because of him. Was I just not a good enough reason? Was I just your little fuck up practice baby? You couldn't even get the fucking courage to tell me yourself, not even email. You had to call my mom and then get her to tell me. Do you know how fucking awkward that was? Do you know that I cried myself to sleep for months when you stopped sending me cards on holidays? Now I know why you fuck forgot my birthday(your own daughter's birthday!). It was him. I did the math, the year he was born is the year the cards stopped coming. Do you just want to forget me, forget your little fuck up? You didn't even want me, you wanted my mom to abort me! I almost broke down crying in front of my English class just because the someone fucking asked me if I had any siblings.

[VowsOfSadness]