Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
the situation itse;f won't change, the things have happened will stay happened and the thing i'm dreading will still happen, but i'll feel calmer about the upcoming thing. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it'll (as ususal) take away my ability to learn to cope with things, but it'll bring calm and relief - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i want it to just go away, and i know that's unrealisitc but right now all i want is for my head to be quieter and to feel ok. SI isn't going to get me any closer to that, but i wish it would. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
it'd last until i have to leave for work, and then i'm probably going to feel panicked again anyway, but on top of that i'm going to feel guilty too. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i can keep posting here, it won't really change the sitation, but it'll keep me occupied. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
i suspect bad either way, but likely worse if I end up SIing. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to punish myself for being the person that i am, and i want to cry and get the horrible feeling of sadness that i have inside out.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
lots of things, lots of little tiny things and some bigger ones, today just feels very overwhelming now, and shocking and i don't know how else to cope with so much - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
i get through it the same way i get throurgh othe urges, i just, i wish they weren't there. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
exercised, had a shower adn got dressed, i'm going to have some lunch eventhough i don't feel up to it, posting here - How do I feel right now?
empty, sad, lonely, useless, angry, tired. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
relieved - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
calm and hten guilty and embarassed and ashamed - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
i don't think so - Do I need to hurt myself?
my wonderful question, no. i'd like to but i don't need to. the feeling saren't going to kill me, they aren't going to hurt me any more than shoving them away and SIing to block it out will. so i guess i just have to accept it and sit with it.
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
