We want YOU to participate in... - The Coping Challenge! -

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Post Reply
User avatar
Spidey
board admin
board admin
Posts: 21335
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:30 pm

We want YOU to participate in... - The Coping Challenge! -

Post by Spidey » Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:48 pm

The Coping Challenge!


About the Challenge

I've noticed lately that there seems to be sort of a negative bias towards one's feelings - especially in the Right Now I Feel... thread. And while it is perfectly acceptable to post that you are feeling a negative emotion, I figure that hey - through every dark cloud, there is a bright spot.

The focus of this challenge is to find that "bright spot".

Challenge "Rules"

There are no set "rules" for the challenge - which is why it is in quotation marks. Pretty much, the only thing that you have to do is pretty much just stay within the boundaries that the challenge has created. This is for fun, and to get you to recognize that through every dark cloud is a bright spot waiting to be seen, and that positive and negative can exist at the same time.

This isn't exactly meant to be posted - but if you would like to make a post in this thread concerning the challenge, go ahead and do so! Pretty much how it works is this -

1) Work through the steps. Do Challenge 1, Challenge 2, and Challenge 3. With every challenge you "work", either make a mental note of what you have done, or what is going on, or write that down. The second post in this thread is the "template" post, which will hopefully explain how to write down the challenge if you want to do so. (If you still have questions, go ahead and PM me :))

2) This part isn't for writing down, but think about how you can use those steps not just here on the forum, but in daily life. Think of a recent situation where you thought the negativity had wrapped around you like a berserk roll of clingfilm, and how now, with the benefit of hindsight, you can see where some positivity might have been.

The Challenge

Challenge #1

Tell Me One Good Thing About How You Feel

Not me Spider personally, but "me" as in "you". Through all the darkness and negativity that's in your feelings map right now, pick a bright spot - maybe at one point in the last couple of hours, you felt okay, maybe something good has happened but it didn't get far enough to the surface to impact your current negative mood.

Challenge #2

Identify, Identify, Identify

In the same vein as identifying triggers, identify what kind of situation, thought process, or change (subtle or not) happened to make your mood feel negative. Also, identify what made the good thing you feel happen.

If it is really hard to identify your feelings, or you're having a difficult time with the process, see the Sourcebook threads on identifying your feelings. It may be of good use to you.

Challenge #3

Embrace - Or Hey, If You Can't, Acknowledge

Try to embrace that positive feeling -- that "bright spot" that I'm talking about. Or if you can't, at least acknolwedge it. Acknowledge that you have the right to your feelings, both good and bad, and try to give them as much "equal time" as you can. Perhaps the conversation within yourself can go something like this:

This is just an example, you don't have to "do" this part -- it's just an explanation of what I'm trying to say
[Internal Self] "I feel stupid."
[External Self] "Okay, you feel stupid, but do you remember today when we got the new TM Network CD?
[Internal Self] "Yeah! I was happy and I really looked forward to getting it"
[External Self] "Can we try to carry that over?"
[Internal Self] "No because I feel stupid because I think I did something wrong with this program, and it's fairly easy to program a script to tell Mail to put things from my brother into their own folder"
[External Self] "Well, okay then. Just remember that good can coexist with bad. So what to go by is this: Yes, you made a mistake programming. But you can listen to your new CD while you program, and remember that happiness and frustration can sometimes coexist."

Pretty much that's what this entire challenge is about - identification and if possible, coexistence. The first step to everything in life is identification and acknowledgement.

Try it! Challenge yourself and see.
Last edited by amerylis on Wed Dec 04, 2013 9:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: Changed html to BBcode
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

:cowave:

User avatar
Spidey
board admin
board admin
Posts: 21335
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:30 pm

Post by Spidey » Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:55 pm

- Challenge Template -

Challenge #1

One good thing about how I feel:

I am proud that I have taken this idea from a teeny tiny thought process stemming from a radio show I heard, to this big and complete challenge. In a day that hasn't been too good, this is definitely a "bright spot", and I am proud that it is here.

Challenge #2

Identifiers

I've had considerable time to brood lately and my mind is stuck on negative subjects. I can't seem to find employment again no matter how hard I try, so I feel as if I am defective and useless. I am also sick at the moment, and being sick is always something that puts my mood in the proverbial toilet.

What made the good thing I feel happen was that I asked for, and recieved input about this thread and people thought it was wonderful. I am glad to know that this project for this thread is possibly beneficial to people, and even though I still can't find a job, it doesn't mean that I am useless and defective - if anything, this thread / challenge shows that at least in one way, I am useful and unbroken.

Challenge #3

Embrace / Acknowledge (if you can't embrace, acknowledge)

Right now I am concerned about other things and unfortunately they trump the "bright spot", but I acknowledge that the positive feeling of having gotten this big post done in a coherent manner, and therefore having a sense of accomplishment also exists.
Last edited by amerylis on Wed Dec 04, 2013 9:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed html to BBcode
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

:cowave:

User avatar
friarygirl
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 12563
Joined: Thu May 13, 2004 2:10 pm
Location: Gibraltar UK Age: 55

Post by friarygirl » Fri Dec 08, 2006 11:48 pm

I love it! I might join in later. I'll find some positives in today, if it kills me. :wink:

Sarah
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable.
Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all...
Douglas Adams
Member of OATS -- Oldies Against Text Speak
:bfly: THE TIME TO TELL SOMEONE YOU CARE IS NOW :bfly:

User avatar
Licentia Poetica
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 24935
Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
Gender: Female
Location: Australia
Contact:

Post by Licentia Poetica » Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:52 am

bump...
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

Image

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

User avatar
Licentia Poetica
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 24935
Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
Gender: Female
Location: Australia
Contact:

Post by Licentia Poetica » Fri Dec 22, 2006 6:07 am

Here goes nothing :roll:

Challenge #1

One good thing about how I feel:

I feel at least able to coast for the next few weeks until things like Christmas and people I need to support me being away etc, have settled down.

Challenge #2

Identifiers

I've been feeling bad for a while now, and *really* bad for the last week or so. I'm still feeling badly, but I have done what's necessary to give myself hope. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, for lack of a better phrase.

I went to my gp. I got meds. They might work, they might not. But it provides a tiny bit of hope for me, so my life isn't just endless days of feeling tired and nights of feeling suicidal.

This time of year is always hard. But particularly this year because of my grandmother being so ill, and other stresses.

I have coping mechanisms. I do. I have BUS. I have friends online. If I need to I can call helplines, or my old T. My gp will be back after new year, and my shrink will be back a little later. I have to remind myself of these things. Because often I am afraid people are going to leave me.

There are people who care, and notice.


Challenge #3

Embrace / Acknowledge (if you can't embrace, acknowledge)

I acknowledge that right now, it is daylight. In daylight I don't feel quite as bad. I acknowledge that there is hope, and at the best of times, there are things to look forward to. I acknowledge that when it's night and I feel lonely, depressed and suicidal, those things are clouded, and don't seem important.
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

Image

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

User avatar
Naiia
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 375
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:29 am
Contact:

Post by Naiia » Fri Dec 22, 2006 10:07 am

Okay, I'm going to give it a shot.

Challenge 1:
I'm glad, even though sometimes it's hard for me to listen to and can be stressful at times, that my friends can talk to me. I'm proud of myself for being strong enough to be there with them, and I like the sensitive part of me that cares enough to take time out of my life for them if they need it. Plus the rain outside sounds pretty. :)

Challenge 2:
Mostly, the problem is my switch to new meds. I have not had a good nights sleep for like a week, when I went on it. I'm so tired, but my body won't let me sleep...it's causing me to feel sad, overwhelmed, and frustrated.

The other part, is, to go along with challenge 1, I'm worried about a friend. He was talking about suicide the other day, and I tried to assess this and give him something to hang onto as best I could, but (obviously), despite having some training in this area, I feel under-qualified and not in the best position to help him out. And, I haven't heard from him today, so I'm concerned.

Challenge 3:
I did the best I could have, really, I don't know that anyone could have done much more than I did for my friend. I can't be there constantly, I just can't. I'm sorry that my friend is struggling, and I hope he's okay, but I'm happy that he could talk to me, and I'm (fairly) confident that I did everything that I could have for him.

...eh, I think I might have gotten a little lost there on that last step. I tried.

User avatar
balletomane
one of us
one of us
Posts: 13705
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:54 am

Post by balletomane » Wed Jan 03, 2007 3:21 am

Challenge #1

One good thing about how I feel:

I am proud of myself for going to yoga today. I am also really proud that I took care of myself during the class (coming out of poses and modifying as needed).

Challenge #2

Identifiers

Confllict between my sister and parents is driving my stress levels up. I am really sick of her being a whiney, demanding brat and getting into fights with everyone all the time.

Challenge #3

Embrace / Acknowledge (if you can't embrace, acknowledge)

I am going to embrace the feeling of caring for myself and meditate some more. Maybe that will help me to forget about the minefield that is my house.

User avatar
balletomane
one of us
one of us
Posts: 13705
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:54 am

Post by balletomane » Fri Jan 05, 2007 3:50 am

Challenge #1

One good thing about how I feel:

I made awesome cupcakes today (even my mom and sister thought so).

Challenge #2

Identifiers

I am really upset about the whole readmission process and the fact that the chief of mental health doesn't think I've done enough.

Challenge #3

Embrace / Acknowledge (if you can't embrace, acknowledge)

I can only wait for the deans' decision. It is going to be uncomfortable, but I should continue to focus on what I've done right. I am going to embrace my new found ability to see the good in any situation by thinking about how good my alternatives are.

theatrechica02
one of us
one of us
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2009 5:34 am

coping challenge

Post by theatrechica02 » Wed Jan 28, 2009 7:47 pm

I would like to try the coping challenge!

User avatar
soulonfire928
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1689
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2007 7:33 pm
Location: USA

Re: We want YOU to participate in... - The Coping Challenge!

Post by soulonfire928 » Fri Jan 30, 2009 3:08 am

Challenge #1

Tell Me One Good Thing About How You Feel


I am grateful about having my "F" grades from last semester retracted and changed to "W" (withdrawal) because the dean of my college was on my side in doing what she could to change the impact of the med. problems I was having last semester.

Challenge #2

Identify, Identify, Identify


Right now I can identify that I'm feeling poorly because I cut off somebody's service temporarily today cause they haven't paid, and they then came back saying they no longer want our service because they told us they were in the middle of moving their office and would get to me by the end of the week...and even though I wasn't aware of their situation, I feel bad that I've pissed them off enough to the point of cancellation.


Challenge #3

Embrace - Or Hey, If You Can't, Acknowledge


I'm going to embrace the complete 2nd chance I have at school again :D

It's really a great opportunity and you don't always get complete do-overs in life. And I shouldn't let one minor screw up (that isn't even solely on me) overshadow the awesomeness that happened with my grades

andrew1988
one of us
one of us
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 11:07 am

Post by andrew1988 » Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:32 am

I guess theres no harm in trying

Challenge #1
One Good thing about how I feel, I guess theres hope. Theres hopes that Holly still has feelings for me, and that maybe we'll be together again. That hope is my bright spot.

Challenge #2
The thought that all of this 'hope' that I cling to is wrong. Holly feels nothing for me, she dosen't even like me as a friend I mean how could she?

Challenge #3
Be patient, she gave you so much. You owe her at least the same like Elaine says, its going to take time. Its will probably be 5 or 6 months, and even still it will be slow going after that. But just because it will be that long before you date dosen't mean you won't make any progress you'll feel closer to her. And that closeness is what we are missing. Give her time, don't pressure her, let her come to you.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 38 guests