sooooo numb before

[mikedemons]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I'll be numbed and center my mind some so i wont feel like everything is fake around me

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? bring me back to relaity / bu then hen i get there i'll feel dumb for haveing new marks


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i wanna feel normal like i am in my right mind/ i dont think hurting myself is the awnser but i know it would make me feel something

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? i dont know how long it will last becuse i have never felt this way before and it is scareing me


what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
sit right here and flick my rubber band i dont know

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? i'll feel really dumb


what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i wanna be back in my right state of mind
maybe currle up in a ball and stay there
i really dont know right now