slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. Yeah I took care of them
- what had happened just before?
I was home alone with my baby. My parents are in PA with my sister. I have no help. Her dad was supposed to help me but he had to work late. She was screaming, I couldn't console her. I finally got her to sleep, then went upstairs and cut. - what were you thinking and feeling?
So overwhelmed. I had never been alone with her for a full 24 hours before. My mom always helps. My meds are getting switched too. And not working yet.....I just felt helpless and I honestly wanted to scream - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I was home alone, no one was coming anytime soon. My baby was sleeping. I had no one with me to help. No one to alleviate at least some stress. I cracked. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
Well I was dumb and bought a first aid kit the other day. I was triggered then so I figured I'd buy it just in case. I dont usually cut unless I have supplies to bandage myself up with - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Med changes and lack of sleep. I'm seeing my Pdoc monday, and well....lack of sleep is just gonna keep happening.....the baby is 6 weeks old. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried crying. A lot. I let myself bawl my eyes out until I stopped. But I still wanted to cut. It didn't work well. If I'm really really stressed *my huge trigger* then nothing really can help aside from not having the stress. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Well if my mom was there I would have given the baby to her and gone and taken a hot shower, without blades in there. because I would know that there was help, and I wouldn't have to do it on my own - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I should write a note in my first aid kit....reasons why I shouldn't cut, etc. - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
Not yet. My parents come home late tonight. Emmas daddy in theory is gonna call and come over till then. So far there's no call...... - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Maybe tonight if Dustin doesn't show up. Before my parent's come home. I'll be aware of it. I can't say that I'll have the self control not to act on it though. Right now I'm just trying to survive - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Cuddle my baby and tell her I love her, even if she is screaming, just cuddle her.
Stopping and taking 10 deep breaths
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
No one was home, and wasn't coming home, so I didn't have to worry about getting caught. - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
It was there. Baby was sleeping, no one else home - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
Snapped. Hell..idk. Cried more? curled up in a ball? - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
Increased - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
Alone, and really being triggered - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
