New wishing thread! ~ advice to the person above you.

[Licentia Poetica]

I wish I could lsoe the weight wihtout bad thoughts coming back
I wish my parents wernt so negative towards me
I wish I was a likeable person

Losing weight without ED crap is a really really hard one. Probably something you need guidance with, because it's all too easy for those thoughts and behaviours to come back quickly and easily. If you get a T or a nutritionist or personal trainer or someone to help you, I think that would be the best way to go.

Parents *sigh* unfortinately, I haven't got a whole lot of advice because I'm in the same situation. But all I can say it remind you that it's likely about *them* and not about *you*, so try to disengage yourself from their negativity.

I don't find you unlikeable. I know I dont know you very well, but honestly, everyone has strength and weaknesses, and it's a process of learning which ones to show which people and when, I think. Confidence is an attractive thing, and often it's harder to like someone who doesn't like themselves. So practise some positive thinking maybe. And ignore your parents.

**

I wish I could get over this whole "lovesick" thing and just freaking do my work already. It's like I've put my whole life on hold and I feel soooo pathetic.

[marylou]

I am SO there too!

I have found making a timetable really helpful. With lots of breaks in it. I work for 45mins and then I have 15mins to do whatever. So my "lovesick" part has an outlet AND my work gets done.
I wouldn't just try to shut it off, I find that doesn't work so well. Acknowledging it and giving time to feel it and work thru it will probably be much better for you (and me!)

And you're not pathetic. You're a real person, living life and getting through it. I have found your chat and advice on BUS really solid, and strong and powerful. You gotta believe that about yourself. You're still standing!


_____________________________

I can't bring myself to tell my accountability partner that I am sinking.
I lie alot.
I think I might be becoming an alcoholic.

[volta]

*bumps thread*

[xStarBright]

Just wanted to say; I haven't been to BUS in a long time, I'd almost forgotten about it.
Until I got a notification e-mail for this thread, nice surprise at 2.40am!
Anon08, you've had a username change?

Good thoughts to all! ^.^

Take care,
Annie.

[volta]

yes, i have!!! so good to see you, annie!
i guess i'll restart the thread . . .

i wish i had done something useful today.
i wish i didn't have to work tomorrow, but i can't call in anymore.

[Corlath]

There is nothing in the past that you can control, even if you didn't get anything done you will have done something - focus on what you did do and even if it was just relaxing a little time out for our sleves does wonders.

Unfortunatly in our life time work is one of our neccessary evils. hope it went well since t was a while ago. on those days that you feel like not working but have no choice - reward your self. ie have a favorite pastry for morning tea, take/buy a favorite lunch or even promise your self that very large piece of chocolate cake at the end of the day as a reward for makeing it through.

hope something in there helped.


I wish that i didn't feel so completely worthless and weak all the time. I should be the strong one protecting my friends, yet i'm shattering on the inside.

[Neviah]

You can't be the one that holds everyone up all the time, take some time out to be you and be gentle with yourself. Friendship works both ways, you support them and they support you. And they'll understand if you're not managing so well right now. It's horrible to feel worthless and weak, maybe you can do something nice for you today?

I wish my family were approachable. I feel like I'm done with them, they've never put much effort into caring, I wish I could cut them out.

[everylittlething]

Sometimes the family you're born into is not the family that is going to be supportive. In that case, you make your own family by surrounding yourself with those who love and care about you, and have your best interest at heart--actual family, friends, coworkers, T, etc. We can't choose our blood family, but we can choose who we let become family, if that makes sense. That's something you can do even if you do have a supportive family, because it never hurts to have a larger support network!

My advice for dealing with relatives that upset you or aren't supportive would be the following: First, try talking to one or two people that would be most receptive about how you're feeling. If that isn't an option, or hasn't worked, then minimize contact, and when you do have to deal with them, mentally/emotionally prepare yourself ahead of time by reminding yourself that you're a good person, you have people who care, and that you can't control what your blood family says or does.

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No matter what I accomplish, and no matter what I tell myself or how hard I try to stay positive, one perceived failure or chastisement from someone makes me feel like a complete failure.

[Annybelly]

I find that a struggle too, all I'd suggest, really, would be trying to keep a perspective. If needs be, write down all the positive things you are told, or just positive things about you, so you can turn to the list if you need.
Also, I find i'll often take things as far more critical as they are intended- when people say things, generally, they want to help, not make you feel bad, and if they intend to make you feel bad by it, it's not worth listening to anyway! Just, what i'm trying to say, is be careful how you interpret things which people tell you, by all means, accept constructive criticism, but dont let it detract from the list of positive things, keep it in perspective- dont allow the negatives pull you down!


I wish I could reach out to the youth leader who knows about all my rubbish for help. She told me to facebook her, but I cant help but feel I
1) intrude, and am a nuscience
2) should be able to cope on my own
3) don't deserve her help, and deserve all the rubbish that is currently in my life!
I just can't find the will, or the words to reach out for the help I so desperately need!

[Neviah]

I tend to be the same, but look at it this way, she wouldn't have given you the details to contact her if she didnt want you to. She obviously wants to help you and you do deserve that sweetie, really. As for knowing the words to use maybe just write out a couple of things and see how that goes? Finding the words to use can be so hard to it would be great for you to have someone IRL to support you.

I wish I knew how to be a good friend, and I wish I had the words half the time to say what I mean.

[volta]

same here.
although, i find that most of the time, my actions speak louder than my words. people know what i mean from the way i treat them. the way that i show them i love them makes the words secondary. they're still important, but not enough if you don't back them up.

(sorry, i don't know if that helped at all.)

***
i wish i could decide on a prompt for my term paper!