Reward Yourself

[pelagic]

I noticed that a lot of people seem to punish themselves if they do something bad (for example, a person may slip and feel guilty and shameful and insult themselves as a result). Instead of punishing yourself for doing something bad, why not reward yourself when you do something right? Everybody gets told that they're doing something wrong, but nobody is told that they did something right.

Last night, I slipped and cried all night, but although I had urges to slip again, I didn't. And I asked for hugs and comfort when I needed them. Afterwards, I felt better. When I treated myself to some soup due to this ordeal, I realize people need some ways to treat and reward themselves for going through hardships. Some may seem completely ridiculous, but if it works and if it cheers you up, that's all what matters.

So here's a list of good things you could do and ways to reward yourself. You can add on some of your own ideas (what to reward, and ideas for rewards). If anybody is SI-Free for a certain length of time/succeeded their goal in being SI-Free for X many days, they get hugs, pictures of puppies, etc.


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You were feeling really down, cried yourself to sleep, and asked for comfort from a friend, family member, pet, or BUS.

It takes courage to admit you are feeling down and need some comfort. Reward yourself with a cup of hot chocolate, tea, coffee, or another hot beverage.


Although you were trying to be SI-Free for X many days, you slipped after telling yourself that you wouldn't.

Just because you slipped doesn't mean that you are a failure! You created a goal for yourself, and just because you didn't reach that goal, doesn't mean that you lack willpower. Reward yourself for setting a goal by buying a new pair of thick, warm gloves/mitts, or a pair of fuzzy socks to keep you warm next time you feel unsafe.


You binged and tried to purge, but didn't.

Awesome! Yes, you did binge in the first place, but by not purging you are on your way to recovery. Reward yourself with something fun and spontanious-- Go to a corner store, gas station, or mall in fuzzy slippers, or perhaps your PJs, or with your hair in rollers! Hey, life's too short to worry, and you deserve something fun!

[pelagic]

You began to SI and thought you would never stop.

But you did And the SI wasn't fatal. To reward yourself, either take a long hot bath/shower, OR go to a groccery store and buy three things that you really really want... Any three things. Just three things you feel that you need, be it vegetables, soup, rubberbands, or CDs.

You were going to tell your T/Doctor something troubling you, but lost nerve at the last second.

It's hard telling others what's wrong. Reward yourself with buying a new book/magazine because, although you didn't say what was troubling you, you did go to the appointment anyways, and that's brave too!

[Binayshee]

yay, positivity!

[Arcana]

Yay Pelagic!

These are some really good ideas. I'll have to try them some time...

(But I feel the need to point out that those of use with EDs/food issues should NOT use food as a reward. Tea is okay, but the other stuff not so much. (Especially if you're like me and chocolate seems to be a trigger... ))

[pelagic]

Thank you, Arcana. I will offer non-food options for rewards. If you have any ideas, you can post them on here!

Binayshee: Yay, positivity! There's too much negativity now a days, and I know I'm not the only one who tends to focus on the bad things in life.


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Non-Food Rewards

If you usually like to reward yourself with non-food/non-calorie things, why not boil water and sip it quietly? It's only water--no calories, no fat, and healthy. It's warm, so it'll warm you right up and make you feel safe. What I really like to do (and really helps with coughs/sore throats) is add lemon juice and a little bit of honey.

I'll post more soon... I have to leave now

[volta]

yay pelagic! i like the hot water idea instead of tea.

[pelagic]

You wanted to go to a fun event, and you did went, but five minutes later you left due to a panic attack/anxiety.

It takes courage to think of ways to get out of the house and have some fun, and even more courage to go to the event... Even if you didn't stay to actually engage in it. You may feel disappointed in yourself, but realize that there are always other events and other opportunities. Fun events aren't often planned, however. Go to a library, an animal shelter, a mall, a city park, a bookstore, any place where you might enjoy yourself. Flip through a few books, snuggle with a puppy, windowshop (which I find almost as fun as actually shopping), or just smell some flowers. A great place I like to go to reward myself is a coffee shop. I like to read the newspapers, smell the coffee drinks and sip my own coffee/tea.

More Non-Food Rewards

Going to a movie is really fun. If you are comfortable going to a threatre by yourself, why not see a movie you really want to watch, but have nobody to go with? However, not everybody likes to go to theatres by themselves. So, why not go to a movie store and rent a few movies/DVDs? I find that, with a comfortable pillow, a cushy blanket, and something warm to sip, a movie is perfect. It's good to distract yourself from troubles, good to comfort you, and good for rewards.

This reward applies to females (but I'm sure that many males like to too), but I find this always cheers me up. Putting on a few bracelets or ribbons, straighten/curl/style your hair, dress up (of course, by dressing up I mean dressing casually, comfortably, and something that you feel happy in), put on colourful necklaces/ribbons/socks... And don't go out. Just feel great for you.

I remember doing this as a reward for my younger cousins (aged 1-4). Buy a bottle of bubbles, and as a reward, make some pretty bubbles! I smile when I look at them float through the air, and if you feel up to it, try to catch them ( I try to bite them, heh, although they taste rather gross ).

[pelagic]

You lost your temper, shouted/fought somebody you loved, and deeply hurt them. You feel utterly horrible and want to SI so badly.

I know how hard it is. What's important, and what's good, is that you feel bad. However, that bad feeling should be directed at your actions, not at yourself. By feeling bad, you are showing remorse, showing that you still care. A reward would be to apologize, because it will heal you as well. Afterwards, do something that will take up a lot of energy. Play your favourite CD, blast the volume, grab a hairbrush as a mike and shout along. Dance, even if you can't. Punch the air, kick the air, and shout until you grow tired. It's also pretty fun, too!

Another reward would be to give yourself a pedicure (sp?). Yes, males, you can do this too! It feels so good to scrub your feet, trim your nails (painting them is fun too!)... I used to have a few 'recipes' for footscrubs or whatnot, sorry, I forgot them I'm sure a few magazines around have some tips, though!

[volta]

this is gonna sound strange, but most of the things i achieve are while i'm at school.
any "on the go" reward ideas?

[pelagic]

Hmm... Let me think. *thinks*

On-The-Go Rewards

If you are at work/school and want to reward yourself (you can also reward yourself when you get home) before the mood passes, keep a pad of stickers handy in your binder/suitcase/locker. You are not allowed to remove a sticker from the stickerpad unless they are rewards. Take a sticker and stick it on your binder, your hand, the door of your locker ( I prefer my hand, because then everybody sees it and they're jealous ). Of course, I just like stickers. Other people are probably looking at me weird for suggesting stickers.

This deserves a reward as well as being a reward, but excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Then smile at your reflection and think of things that make you happy, make you proud to be you.

Have a roll of ribbon or lace in your desk/locker/suitcase/backpack, etc, and every time you do something good, cut off a piece of lace/ribbon and tie it around your hand. When you get home, for every lace/ribbon bracelet you have, that's how many things, anything things, you're allowed to do that day. (as long as it's not negative). i.e., if I have three ribbon bracelets and I get home, I can bake three cakes, go for three walks, buy three items at a store, etc etc.

If anybody else has some on-the-go ideas that'd be helpful

[volta]

that's awesome! thanks so much!

[5th section]

Some great ideas here - thank you! might have a go at a few (or even try to think of some)

[pelagic]

You felt especially SU, and haven't done anything right that day. You feel you don't have any reason to reward yourself.

You're alive. Even if you did horrible things that day and not one right thing, at least you are still alive, at least you didn't succumb to your SU thoughts. This deffinately deserves a reward.

A good reward for enjoying yourself is having a rather large cardboard box, and everytime you decide to reward yourself and want to buy a particular small item, buy it and store it in the box. When you need a smile on your face, open the box and see all the pretty things you bought.

Some happy items are:

Small teacups
Pieces of ribbon
Soft squares of fabric
Small stuffed toys
Tiny spoons
Polished stones
Large glass beads
Shell necklaces
Post cards
Glittery stickers
Gel pens

Maybe colour the cardboard box your favourite colour!

[pelagic]

You overslept and barely dragged yourself out of bed. You feel upset that you are not reliable because you cannot wake up at a decent hour.

Hey, you eventually got up, didn't you? Try going to a doctor and asking if it's a medical problem, of if it's your diet. Then, reward yourself by trying to solve the problem by getting a warm cup of coffee and/or, reward yourself by buying a slipcover for your chair/couch in your favourite colour (I find brightening up my furniture/room makes me happy).

[shannie1985]

I loved the sticker idea. It made me laugh.

I was wondering if you have any reward suggestions for not shopping. I have a serious shopping problem(spending hundreds in a day) and I am trying to stop. I don't know how to reward myself for this in a non-spending way.

[Chaocontrol6]

WOW awesome ideas gal! Keep thinking more, they are all so happy and making me smile everytime I see new ones

Jason

[pelagic]

Non-Shop Rewards

*Go to a library, cuddle up on one of the comfy chairs, and read a few books. It's a little quiet time for yourself, a great distraction, and a great comfort I find.

*Bake the biggest, most delicious cake you can bake, lather it with icing (if you like icing), then invite a bunch of friends to come over to devour it with you! If you don't want to eat cake, or don't want to make your friends eat cake, maybe it could be served at a soup kitchen (don't churches serve food to the homeless every Sunday? I don't remember).

*Cut up some newspapers into strips, mix liquid glue with water, papermachete (sp?) a balloon, let it dry, pop the balloon inside and cut open a square in the papermachete ball, fill it with little bits of things you love, tape the square back in the papermachete ball so the things you love won't fall out, then colour it! Then, throw it off your balcony! And watch it explodw! It's so much fun!

*Make homemade volanoes by putting baking powder and food dye in a cup, then add vinegar and say, "BOOM!"

*Wear the ugliest clothing you have, then mix cornstarch with water. Then play with it! It becomes a solid when you hold it and move it, but because a liquid when you stop moving it! It's such fun!

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These are all silly little things I used to do when I was younger and I wanted to have fun. I may be getting weird looks for suggesting them, but hey, they're fun! And it's hard to think of rewards that don't have food or purchasing things in them.

[shannie1985]

I love the volcanoe idea!!! So much fun. I've never really heard of the cornstarch one but I like it. Thank you for those ideas, they are all really great!

[pelagic]

If you add food colouring to the cornstarch and water, it'll be all pretty coloured But it'll stain clothing, so wear ugly clothes!

[Librariana]

There are some good ideas here.

I'm reading posts because I'm having a hard time and trying to avoid hurting myself again. :sigh:

My emergency box (an idea from another thread) isn't working today. But you made me think of something...

When I was a kid, and we didn't have any money and were bored, we'd go outside and find two sticks, the straightest we could find, and then rummage around in the yarn box and make God's eyes. You just weave the yarn around the sticks. Then you hang the eyes out on the porch and watch the wind make them do circles.

:will hunt for yarn later:

I like the tea/coffee/hot water idea. I wouldn't do the foodie stuff. But I can drink chamomile tea...

I'll do anything right now.