New wishing thread! ~ advice to the person above you.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Sat May 13, 2006 9:56 am

Okay, I've been trying to get some more constructive threads floating about as well as the plain venting ones, because I really believe they are being used badly & find them really frustrating.

This one works like the "Say something nice about the person above you thread".

1. You post some advice to the person who posted above you about their goals/ wishes/ vents etc

2. Then you post your own wishes, goals vents etc.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Sat May 13, 2006 9:58 am

I'll start:

I wish I weren't so incompetent at doing my work.
I wish I could get these couple of things done so I was on top of things.

pretty · Post by **pretty** » Sat May 13, 2006 10:15 am

Licentia Poetica wrote:I wish I weren't so incompetent at doing my work.
I wish I could get these couple of things done so I was on top of things.

My first thought is that you probably aren't incompetent, that that's probably just your perception. If that's the case, it can help to step back and get some distance from work.

My absolute best advice for getting work done though is to make a list. Break the tasks down. Do one item off the list, cross it off, reward yourself. Then look at the next one. The stepping back and list making can help with getting perspective and realising you *can* do it too.

The hardest thing is getting started, so if you can just give yourself a push, it gets easier from there. I can really empathise though, I have a ton of work I need to get done today...

Now, mine;

I wish I could get motivated to get fit.
I wish I didn't feel so exhausted by life so much of the time.

troubles undone · Post by **troubles undone** » Sat May 13, 2006 7:46 pm

well i'm really sports mad, but you don't need a gym subscription to get fit!! Use the things available to you- take your dog (if you have one) for a brisk walk every day, go for a swim with a couple of friends for a while or if you're up for it, try joining a team or someting!!! The best thing to do is make it fun without realising it, so try and involve friends where pos.

As for the feeling tired with life, if you get into the habbit of doing regular and FUN excerise, and eat (semi) well, then I reckon you will feel a whole lot better in yourself. How about stting up a reward programme for yourself e.g. if i do..... then i can go.... with.... this may help with your motivation as well. as you said to Licentia Poetica "the hardest thing is getting started, so if you can just give yourself a push, it gets easier from there" so good luck!!!

now for mine:

I wish i had the will-power to stay on task when it comes to school work
I wish I could articualte my inner thoughts and feeling much more easily

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Sat May 13, 2006 11:59 pm

hey

troubles undone wrote:now for mine:

I wish i had the will-power to stay on task when it comes to school work
I wish I could articualte my inner thoughts and feeling much more easily

hmm, staying on task with school work is hard - i know it is for me! i've found something really really simple in the last two days which has made such a big different to my studying skills and it's so so simple - i go study in the library!!!! cause for me, i get distracted with music, msn, the people in my house
also the usual - lots of breaks
hmm a list of what you aim to get done and which you can tick things off of when you make progress
posters!!!! a brainstorm to keep you on track

have you tried other forms of articulating your inner thoughts? drawing, painting, creative writing, stories, just letting yourself draw/write anything, role play...

hope this helps a little, I wasn't completely sure what to write - sorry!

______

I wish I was less sensitive
I wish I didn't take everything to heart
or get quite so stressed

whoareyou?doyouevenknow? · Post by **whoareyou?doyouevenknow?** » Mon May 15, 2006 12:01 am

amyfairy wrote: I wish I was less sensitive
I wish I didn't take everything to heart
or get quite so stressed

sensitivly is a good thing, it means that you care, but as with most things keep it in balance and prespective, don't let it cloud your jugement or decisions.
for the take everything to heart, i have the same problem take a deep breathe and remind yourself that it's your life and you know who you are, no matter what other people say. e.g slut, you know you're not one and trhats all that counts.
for the stressed, agains breathe, do something claming, eg walk or run and then (if it's schoolwork) tackle it with a clear head. try not to worry about time resistions and just focus on the work at hand.
sorry it's not much helpful

i wish i had the movation to sit and revise.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Mon May 15, 2006 4:07 am

whoareyou?doyouevenknow? wrote:i wish i had the movation to sit and revise.

Hey.

Here are some things that help me:
I find a quiet, non-distracting place to study.
I decide to just do five minutes. Then another five and so on.--doing things in managable chunks.
Bribes--rewards for completing chunks of work.
Take breaks frequently, but time the breaks.
Remember, even if you don't get everything done, something is better than nothing.
Good luck.

I wish my sleep schedule weren't so messed up.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Mon May 15, 2006 8:08 am

balletomane wrote:I wish my sleep schedule weren't so messed up.

Sleep can be really tricky. The thing you need to do is get into habits. I find that using my bed *only* for sleeping is a good idea. I don't do my work or reading or anything else there. That way my body seems to know that bed = sleep.

Don't take any vitamins or "uppers" after about 6pm & eliminate caffeine after 3 pm. If you tend to lie in bed worrying about things, or thinking about things you have to do, make a list of everything on your mind before you go to bed, then you can rest with your mind at ease knowing everything you need to deal with you can resume dealing with it in the morning.

Make sure there is enough air in your room, even if the window is ajar only slightly. Try sleeping in darkness & if that doesnt work dont be afraid to open the blinds & let in some moonlight, I can't sleep in darkness. Sometimes I find when I can't get to sleep it helps to move to the living room for a night or simply put my pillow where my feet would normally be.

I hope you start sleeping soon.

Me... I wish I could just stop being so goddamn complicated & just love the people that love me & not make every relationship into the borderline disordered nightmare that I do. *sighs*

Post by **strmdncr** » Thu May 18, 2006 4:42 am

Me... I wish I could just stop being so goddamn complicated & just love the people that love me & not make every relationship into the borderline disordered nightmare that I do. *sighs*

This may sound harsh and if you're uncomfortable with it let me know and I'll delete it. I tried to keep it as gentle as possible so as not to anger you. I also want you to know that what I'm saying comes from personal experience so I know it's hard to hear.
Loving people is something that can be very scary to do and sometimes it's easier to create problems so that the people go away rather than accepting that someone cares. It's a lot easier to chase someone off and be able to tell yourself that they were never going to stay than it is to take the chance of facing the fear that someone might leave you first.
Take things slowly, see if there is anyone in your life who has stuck by you no matter what. They might have gotten angry with you at times, you may have had huge fights with them, but you still know they are there. If you find this, try talking with them about what fears you have in relationships. Chances are they already know a lot of this and will be able to help you figure out how better to accept the love that people want to offer to you. Sometimes one of the hardest things to do for yourself is to tell a person thank you to something they've said when everything inside you screams to discount what they said. This may be the first step to reaching your goal.

I wish that I could tell my sister how I feel about her recent behaviours without the fear of losing contact with my niece and nephew b/c when she gets angry or upset she stops all contact with the person she's angry at, including allowing her children contact with them.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Sat May 27, 2006 7:48 am

I wish that I could tell my sister how I feel about her recent behaviours without the fear of losing contact with my niece and nephew b/c when she gets angry or upset she stops all contact with the person she's angry at, including allowing her children contact with them.

that sound like a very rough situation. the only things I can think of are having someone mediate or bringing it up as gently as possible. i know that's not ver helpful advice. I hope that it works out.

I wish dance were still a part of my life.

katja · Post by **katja** » Sun Jun 11, 2006 11:29 pm

You still can dance! I dont know what context your dancing is in maybe a class you used to take or something....I dunno
but anyways, there are all sorts of dance classes you could take, for all different age groups and different levels. You can still make it a part of your life even if its not a career.

I wish I Could be confortable being single. I really want to be my own person, but I only feel like half a person when I dont attatch myself to someone else, either a boy or a friend. I want people to be like "lets invite katja" not "lets invite K and his girlfriend"

Koru · Post by **Koru** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 6:06 pm

I know it's a bit of a cliche but I have found that the only way to get comfortable being single is to try to stay that way for a while and involve yourself in lots of groups and activities. I usually break up with one guy and throw myself at the next available male. This time round that didn't work out and I wound up staying single, I found I had time to do lots of things I wanted to do, met lots of people also doing those activities and have become part of several groups of people who don't know me as half of anyone, they just know me as myself. I don't know if this would work for you but it's worth thinking about.

I wish I could be content with who I am and not constantly angry with myself for not being harder working, cleverer, prettier, fitter, more sucessful, friendlier etc etc. I am tired of not liking myself.

*.*Black_Star*.* · Post by ***.*Black_Star*.*** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:19 pm

To help yourself out and stop yourself feeling so negtive about you, you could try starting a list of thing that you like about yourself, or about good things that you have said or done for people or whatever....you could make it so you *have* to write something on that list once a week for a month or something, and then next month write something twice and week and then build it up until you write something on it every couple of days or something? jsut an idea, sorry if it isnt of much use to you....

I wish i didnt have such a problem trusting people, i wish i knew how to bring down these walls and not worry about getting hurt....

umara · Post by **umara** » Mon Jun 12, 2006 11:46 pm

Having a problem with trusting people is a big issue with me, as well as the fear of being hurt again because I've been hurt so many times before.

There probably is no clear way to bring these walls that confine you from developing trusting relationships with others. It's something that will only happen in due time. Truthfully, getting to know the people you want closer relationships with is probably the first step; talk to them more and work on just getting to know them first because the trust factor will come in time. The people that you want to trust have to earn your trust through their actions; that's their responsibility.

I wish I didn't feel like it's my duty to or try so hard to fix all of my family's problems...sorta like playing the "peace-maker".

Post by **strmdncr** » Tue Jun 13, 2006 6:46 am

Learning to feel/accept/acknowledge the feelings that arise in you b/c of your families problems may help with you figuring out why you believe that you need to fix things in your family. I've been the "peace-maker" in my own family for a long time and didn't realize that I was doing this b/c of the fears that arose in me if I didn't do something to try and make everything okay. Maybe it's something else for you, but hopefully this gives you something to think about as a possibility.

I wish that I was more able to blindly accept things at times instead of having a need to question everything as I feel this gets in the way of my healing.

Fieryphoenix · Post by **Fieryphoenix** » Tue Jun 13, 2006 7:21 am

ah, i'm not entirly sure, cause i do this too, but i don't think that questioning things are bad. Its a sign that you are thinking about stuff. if you just agree with everything that is said or done to you, thats probably not good? its ok if you have questions about whats going on. of course you said that it got in the way of your healing, so probably not... sorry.

I wish that i took as good of care of myself as i do my friends.

amerylis · Post by **amerylis** » Tue Jun 13, 2006 10:13 am

hi, this is the one thing my friends tell me off for. you need to try and learn that your friends love you and if you helping them will make you feel worse because you couldnt cope with it at that time then you need to step back say "I'm sorry I can't help right now, I'm thinking of you" they would rather you were ok enough to help rather than only thinking of them
could you try and set time aside for you? an hour or two where you can be nice to you, have a bath, listen to/play music with no msn or whatever just you time?

I wish i could get my chemistry revision done.
that I could stop thinking I will fail.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:04 am

/\
Study hard and try to focus. Don't take on too much all at once and allow yourself free time. Try to stay positive! You can do it!

I am lonely without my best friend and am afraid I will be spending this summer alone again. I get panic attacks thinking about it.

Reflections · Post by **Reflections** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:49 pm

relaxation breating practice. and if you're up for it, maybe you could take up some summer activities (sports, groups, classes), where you'd be likely to meet other people with similar interests. That way you wouldn't be alone, and you might make some great friends in the process.

I wish the next 27 days would go by a little quicker. I'm far too excited about getting my tattoo and the anticipation is driving me insane!

lelijk lijk · Post by **lelijk lijk** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:43 pm

I wish the next 27 days would go by a little quicker. I'm far too excited about getting my tattoo and the anticipation is driving me insane!

wow, i really don't have any good advise as to what you should do to make time go faster...you could sleep alot...because that always makes time fly. Or keep your mind off it by reading or ...taking up a hobby.
sorry...that wasn't very good advise.

________

I wish i could teel the people i love the way i feel before it tears me apart and i can't speak about it without crying or yelling.

I wish I could walk away from problems before I exaserbate them...(make them worse)(i don't thinks thats spelt right...i just wanted to use a big wod...sorry. lol)

bus

New wishing thread! ~ advice to the person above you.

New wishing thread! ~ advice to the person above you.

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