- Many people don't think they are loved, or held safe, and so when suffering comes they see it as an affirmation of their worthlessness. The great question ... is to learn to live our brokenness under the blessing and not the curse.
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When we become aware that we do not have to escape our pains, but that we can mobilize them into a common search for life, those very pains are transformed from expressions of despair into signs of hope.
bus has been around, in one form or another, since 1996. The first bus web board went up in 1997, and eventually we ended up with this. We know the board can seem huge and overwhelming at first, but you'll find a place where you fit. Check out all the forums, read through some posts, then jump in and introduce yourself. Don't be afraid to ask questions. We all remember what it was like to be new.
People who are not ready or willing to recover are welcome here, but they should realize that this is a heavily recovery-oriented board. We believe that it is possible to recover and stop using self-harm to cope. We've seen lots of people do it. We respect other points of view, but we don't endorse them.
At the heart of bus lie three core beliefs:
1. Your thoughts and feelings and ideas are valid, even when other people disagree with them. You think and feel and act as you do for reasons that make sense to you, even if I don't understand. I may disagree, but that doesn't take away your right to define your own feelings.
2. Self-harm is a way of coping that causes as many problems as it solves. You've chosen it either because you don't see other options, or you don't think anything else will work. Even when hurting yourself is the best of several awful choices, it remains a choice. It's okay if you don't believe that now, but we hope you'll come to understand it as you post here. Once you do, you've started to recover.
3. Your feelings when you hurt yourself are infinitely more important than how you made the injuries. Something you consider to be a major injury might seem minor to me, but that doesn't change your perception of it. To you, it *is* major. Our goal here is to get beyond the actual act of self-harm and look at the feelings that prompted it. That's why we discourage graphic descriptions of self-inflicted injuries and don't allow pictures of them.
Everyone here makes mistakes because we're all real people. Don't beat yourself up when it's your turn to screw up -- no one else will. We won't give up on you so long as you don't give up on yourself. You don't have to be in crisis or in the midst of a tragedy to get love and support; all you need to do is ask. You don't have to be anything -- we've got members who are male, female, and transgendered; straight, gay and bi; old, young, and in-between; and citizens of more than a dozen countries.
Welcome, and have fun!
deb,
speaking for the bus staff