how do you cope with loneliness?

angelic212 · Post by **angelic212** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 7:31 pm

i was wondering so here is the thing, i always feel lonely even when there are people in my house. i feel isolated from everyone no matter what i do.

also at night time i struggle with feeling lonely and i have a really tough time coping a t night with my feelings o f loneliness and i get urges to binge also i feel like crying at night time when everyone else has gone to bed. i just feel so alone i hate this feeling i get so down and i get really lonely that i dont know what to do it gets late at night and i cant call anyone on the phone. so im by myself

i know that this may sound stupid to you but im scared of the night and being lonely even if i know my parents are sleeping in their room i just dont feel safe at night time how can i make myself feel safe at night ? i get so scared and freaked out and sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and then i can t sleep and i struggle more !!!!!! please help me

magebaby · Post by **magebaby** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:16 pm

is there anyone IRL with whom you feel less lonely? or someone who knows what's going on with you right now? sometimes it helps a lot knowing that there is someone you could call at night, even if you don't call. jsut knowing helps sometimes. is there someone you could take into your confidence?

take care,
mage

pointeless · Post by **pointeless** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 11:58 pm

I wish I could help, but I have the same problem, But I thought i'd let you know I can relate. During term time I live by myself in a studio flat in a town where I have no friends or family, so I know what isolation feels like, and the nights are the worst for me too... I'm sorry I can't be of more use

GlassWings · Post by **GlassWings** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 12:32 am

angelical dreamer wrote:i know that this may sound stupid to you but im scared of the night and being lonely even if i know my parents are sleeping in their room i just dont feel safe at night time how can i make myself feel safe at night ? i get so scared and freaked out and sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and then i can t sleep and i struggle more !!!!!! please help me

I used to have the same problem when I was suffering from almost constant panic attacks. It's not stupid at all, it's terrifying and seems like there's a real threat every time! O___o; I used to keep myself up as long as possible because I was afraid I wouldn't wake up in the morning, like something horrible would happen and no one would know until the next day! It was exhausting... but eventually I realized that every morning I wake up okay and every night I worry. I noticed that I wasn't in control anymore and it wasn't good for me. So, instead of thinking about what could happen if I fell asleep, I told myself, "I'm not going to sleep, I'm just going to dream." And then I'd create stories, place myself in books/movies... just imagine a better place than where I was. Soon enough I just fell asleep without noticing! I guess I just found a way to control my fear...

That's all you need to do, really. It's okay to feel lonely and afraid... it's not stupid or pathetic or anything. It's just a part of your life that you haven't gained full control over yet. ^___^ That's my outlook, at least... hope it makes sense/helps you somehow.

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 1:02 am

i'm wondering if you could increase actual contact with people during the day... eg. rather than simply working on your scrapbook could you ask your mom for ideas or to help with your scrapbook? could you find things do do *with* your parents or niece & nephew... so there's more interaction during the day.... then maybe nights wouldn't feel quite so lonely?

NotWhoIUsedToBe · Post by **NotWhoIUsedToBe** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 2:14 am

I have to dash but i'll come back with some ideas mainly to help sooth the lonliness... it's hard to eradicate it, but with practise there are ways to feel less alone within yourself.

comfort the child within you. then two parts of you are at work, a playful happy sometimes scared child and the nurturing caring protective adult you.

I know when i'm lonley I like to have back ground noise, radio or tv. just voices... anyhoe gotta run. and a good post. I know many people can relate.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 11:13 am

You're not alone Maria.

I feel really lonely too sometimes.

I think it's important to distinguish between feeling lonely and feeling alone. I feel really alone when I'm home and I'm not on good terms with people in my life and it's dark. I'm afraid of the dark too. So I'll put on all the lights and sit in my "comfort spot" on my kitchen bench and look at the sky.

I try to think of all the reasons why I'm feeling alienated from people and it helps because those are specific things I can deal with rather than just being lonely for no reason at all.

I get lonely sometimes when I'm surrounded by people, it's strange but it happens. When that happens I try and really involve myself in what we're doing and try not to think about how lonely I feel.

Bus helps too.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 3:32 pm

I feel lonely all the time, even when I am with people. I listen to music, read, or make up stories about my characters (I have an imaginary world and I make up stories about the people in it). I know it sounds sort of weird but it helps a little. I rarely feel unsafe, but when I do, music and lots of blankets help.

bellaclare · Post by **bellaclare** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 5:30 pm

I get that lonely feeling a lot, too. I haven't really come up with any good strategies for dealing with it yet, but there's a lot of good suggestions here. I'm a teacher, and usually when I'm dealing with my students is the only time I can shake that feeling. I think because I'm distracted from it, I have to be thinking quickly to keep up with the students, and teaching is what I love to do.

Maybe is there any activity that can engage your mind so you can't concentrate on the loneliness? For me, doing the teacher stuff works, even at home. I suppose I remember my place of responsibility, and I like having responsibility like that.

And it sounds silly, but sometimes I just have to hug a pillow or stuffed animal or something to be able to go to sleep. It makes the darkness not so dark.

ursula · Post by **ursula** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 9:42 pm

hey, that sounds awful. i dont know if i get the same thing as you, cos everyone's different, but i have one of those books you can get from museums which are full of blank cartridge paper. I write my feelings in it when i feel bad and at night in general cos i have problems sleeping, and cos its blank paper i can draw and whatnot in it. its basically full of me. It's been such a help, i write in it all the time and it helps to keep me from feeling lonely, and also to evaluate my feelings and try to work out why i feel the way i do. Under the sheet over the mattress is a good place to hide it.
i hope this helps, or if not, makes you laugh over my weirdness.

NotWhoIUsedToBe · Post by **NotWhoIUsedToBe** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 7:08 am

yeah I was thinking try to write. to interact with yourself in a way that you are compy just sitting with youself.

I know...easier said than done

I don't feel alone when I 'give myself out' to the universe... it is so big and so vast and you have a place and the universe/mother. nature. (god). whatever, is with you supporting and nurturing you.

maybe try and write yourself a letter using your non dominant hand. so with your left hand if you are right handed.

*just brain storming*

amarganth · Post by **amarganth** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 7:57 am

Psyche has a good point. When I am producing something, I feel myself is enough and that I can have some say and control in the matter. Drawing, painting, dancing, photographing, making things...anything that is created by you, makes you feel like you are contributing and making a difference. Which helps against loneliness (but not feeling alone).

I hope you feel better very soon, and that some advice here might help you.

angelic212 · Post by **angelic212** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 12:51 pm

thanks for the replies everyone. i thought i was the only one that felt this way , for example right now im feeling lonely parents are asleep and the house is too quiet , but i will listen to music right now and write in my journal instead, and maybe do some exercise with a dvd video that i bought yesterday. but i really feel so lonely i hate it when the house its too quiet . thanks for your replies

amarganth · Post by **amarganth** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 11:29 pm

It's good to hear you will make an effort. Best of luck!

i

bus

how do you cope with loneliness?

how do you cope with loneliness?

Re: how do you cope with loneliness?

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