Questionnaire on *You* & Before and After forum

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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limestone
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Questionnaire on *You* & Before and After forum

Post by limestone » Sat Nov 20, 2004 6:53 pm

Why do you visit before and after?

What do you get out of it?

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?

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Post by herebedragons » Sun Nov 21, 2004 7:17 am

Why do you visit before and after?


I visit when I'm at a place where I am just about ready to SI.
What do you get out of it?
It gives me something to do instead of cutting, it slows me down and makes me think about what I'm going to do.
What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
It's just mainly something to do other than cut, also the questions kind of focus my thoughts a bit.
Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
yes
Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
Yes, I've been SI free for about six monthes now, this forum has helped me stay that way several times.
Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?


yes
Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
I don't know, I guess. I mean if you are going to SI and this might keep you from doing it nothing to lose eh?
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Re: Questionnaire on *You* & Before and After forum

Post by Laura » Sun Nov 21, 2004 7:35 pm

Why do you visit before and after?
To record, and get others' input on, my urges to SI.

What do you get out of it?
I feel heard, supported. I know that it's there, it's sort of an incentive not to SI cos I know I'll have to come on here and analyse it - it sort of forces me not to SI for a stupid reason :oops:
And sometimes people's insights into my situation - often from people who don't know me well - are really helpful.

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
If I get a very real temptation to SI, like I really am not just having a fleeting thought that I brush away, but a serious suggestion that I might do it. Or, of course if I do SI. :(

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
Yes, definitely. Sometimes people who aren't so close to the situation can be more impartial and say things that I realise are true but I'd never thought of.

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
Hmm, will have to go and recall what I learnt before I answer that one :oops:

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
Um, no. When this forum appeared I was in a long stretch of over a year without SI. I'd say this forum helped me to prolong that stretch, but I have recently SIed again.

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
Yes, definitely. If nothing else, the questions help you to differentiate between just wanting to SI for a silly reason, and times when SI might perhaps be something you resort to.
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Post by nirvana » Wed Nov 24, 2004 1:07 am

Why do you visit before and after? another alternative/distraction, and it's a good place to get my thoughts out of my head.

What do you get out of it? i slow down and think before i resort to si. even if i do end up si'ing, i feel proud of myself for stopping to take the time and post.

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens sometimes i'm so triggered, or i'm having a panic attack so i can't take the time. but other times, i'm just upset, and i'm deciding whether or not i really need to si.

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future? yes. even if people don't leave detailed ones, it always helps to have an outsider's perspective. sometimes i get so stubborn (head too far up my ass) to realize that i'll be okay. and i don't think about other people's points of view. but afterwards, it helps to see what i could have been thinking about vs what i was feeling at the time.

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise? some, yes. but i don't come here way too often.

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum? decrease in si, yes. but not directly because of this forum; as i said, i don't come here very often. and when i do, some of the time i end up si'ing anyway. but the feedback i get is extremely helpful.

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others? yes. because even if you end up si'ing, you didn't give into the urge right away. instead, you would have taken the time to stop, think, and breathe.

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Post by Jomomma » Wed Nov 24, 2004 8:48 am

I'm not so sure I should even be answering these questions since i haven't actually posted here but I still think I have managed to get something out of this forum so I will go ahead.

Why do you visit before and after?
To see where other people are and see how they got their and see how they get out of it
(that sounds rather crazy but I will try to explain that answer somewhere in here)

What do you get out of it?
I learn
I learn a great deal
I see what sets others off and how they get through it and it teaches me that i am not the only one


What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
I don't post here
I only reply or send a pm

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
No comment

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
I'm not sure how much of it is this forum, outside factors in my life, or a combo of both

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
By all means.
I have answerd these questions on my own at times and I can say for sure that they can help one evaluate things and having the feedback can help when you can't see past your face.


I know i don't post here but that is just part of the insanity of me

I read here regularly
I may not always reply in a post but I frequently reply to someone in a pm.
I see where people are and it helps me see that I am not a freak
I am not the only one that feels this way or gets set off by certain things.
By reading the posts of those that have posted I have begun to realize that the things that I used to thing were too trivial for me to be upset about are not all that trivial
There are many others dealing with the same things.
I read what other write and read the replies that others give and try to put them to use in my own life.
I stress try cause I am not always all that great at doing what is right at the moment

I think this forum is a great thing
It allows each of us to take a step back and not react impulsively and makes us think before we ant.


JO
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Re: Questionnaire on *You* & Before and After forum

Post by amethyst » Sun Nov 28, 2004 5:18 am

Why do you visit before and after?
I visit because reading what others have posted or posting if I need to helps. because watching other people work through what was going on at a really rough time and hearing how they are able to articulate what was happening is helpful.


What do you get out of it?
A reminder that I am not alone. that there are many people who are struggling with many different triggers and that we are all working towards understanding things better.


What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
when I feel like I am really on the edge, and like there may be a way back from that edge. that's when I've posted here.

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
no. mostly the replies I've gotten have been helpful because I feel less alone and more understood, which is helpful in reminding myself that there are ways to get through things safely.

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
I've tried. I don't always remember, though. :oops:

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
does not apply. have only slipped once since this forum has been around. It was so spontaneous that it did not make a difference that I had access to this.

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
YES!!! I think that the questions are very helpful. Though I don't often post here, I do ask myself questions similar to the ones on this forum quite often, and I do think that they help me stay safe. If I can look at the longer term consequences of my actions as well as the feelings which are driving me to think that hurting myself would be helpful, it is much easier for me to stay safe.
The sun rose with so many colors it nearly broke my heart. - Dar Williams

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Re: Questionnaire on *You* & Before and After forum

Post by green chameleon » Mon Nov 29, 2004 4:55 pm

[quote="limestone"]Why do you visit before and after?

What do you get out of it? Helps me look at what I am doing instead of just feelining

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens I would like to understand myself better

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future? sometimes, depends how much thought/work I put into them

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise? somewhat

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum? No, but have only used it twice.

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?

Yes, have reccommended/quote]
It's hard to cut when you're holding a cat.

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Re: Questionnaire on *You* & Before and After forum

Post by Guest » Wed Mar 16, 2005 2:48 pm

Why do you visit before and after?
Because I want to stop SI ing.

What do you get out of it?
Honestly? I don't know. Let me think.
Ok... a record of what I was feeling and thinking when I hurt myself or was wanting to hurt myself.
Advice.

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
Seriously wanting to SI and wanting to be reminded why not to, or feeling awful that I SI'd and wanting to be reminded not to do it again.
And wanting to be active and not passive in this. That's not great phrasing. I mean, I want to know that I am actively trying things that could help me long term.

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
Depends on the replies!
Yeah, I have had some brilliant advice here. I feel like I've got most from 'after' posts. That may be just because I am much calmer and more able to concentrate when I make those, and when I make before posts, I might just be after a quick fix and disregard anything that isn't that.

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
Yes.

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
No, an increase, but that's nothing to do with this forum.

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
I'd recommend it as a good place to work on noticing and understanding urges and triggers, definitely.

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Post by Wandering » Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:18 pm

<B>Why do you visit before and after? </B>
Either to post myself, to try and prevent myself SI or to try and prevent it happening in future; or to answer other peoples' posts, to try and learn to help people who SI to work through things

<B>What do you get out of it? </B>
It makes me feel cared for, that people care enough that I don't SI to bother suggesting alternatives. Sometimes it does stop me. If I manage to say something helpful to someone else, thats great, and makes me feel like I'm worth something after all. It gives me a sense of achievement that maybe I've helped just slightly

<B>What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens </B>
If the urges are getting to a point that I'm beginning to panic that I can't control them. At least if I post, I feel I've tried. If replying to others, that's gotta be a good thing, because if I don't reply, there's no chance of me saying something helpful, whereas if I reply then maybe I will. And if not, at least they won't feel ignored.

<B>Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future? </B>
It depends. Not always. But I would say with each time I've posted about myself in B&A, I've learnt at least one thing which might help in the future. Which has got to be good.

<B>Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise? </B>
Now that's an area I'm still working on...

<B>Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum? </B>
Um. Well my answer would probably be no, as I've SI 3 times in the last 4 months, which is about the length of time I've used this forum, after being SI free for about 10 months before that. However, I do feel there are other occasions I would have SI'd if it wasn't for this forum - the SI episodes were really completely outside the reach of this forum as it happened.

<B>Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?</B>
Definitely. Especially for people who are trying to quit/lessen the amount of SI, but also for those who aren't necessarily wanting to stop immediately, but are trying to learn more about WHY they SI. That's something I've learnt about myself, and really that will benefit every self injurer.
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Post by swanfaerie » Sat Apr 09, 2005 6:46 am

Why do you visit before and after?
cuz i use it as a healthy alternative to si. i do my best when really urgy to post "before"

What do you get out of it?
most of the time i get passed the urge and end up not si'ing. secondarily that gives me a sense of accomplishment. i also find myself identifying emotions by reading others posts

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
cuz i don't want to si anymore. i want to learn better methods of dealing with my feelings and emotions than hurting myself. cuz i know from past experiences that posting before really does help me.

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
i don't get that many replies...at least i don't think i do. usually i don't get them right after i've posted cuz of the blasted time differences. replies seem to help more in my after posts...maybe cuz those ones have gotten more replies. *shrugs* so i guess the short answer to my long answer is yeah.

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
i'm not sure what i've learned besides that posting before usually helps me to not si. so i keep doing that cuz it usually works

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
yes...but i have external things in my life that highly compel me to not si. so i think it's a combination of the two

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
i tend not to recommend things to others, like, "hey do this" but say that such and so worked for me. so i would tell people that making before posts has helped me to not si
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Post by demidivine » Sat Apr 30, 2005 10:14 pm

Why do you visit before and after?
i only do sometimes. when i'm online, and when i'm consciously thinking of cutting - which isn't usually the state of mind i'm in when i do it. i do more afters than befores, i think.

What do you get out of it?
there's an element of perspective that thinking it through brings that is usually lacking in my thought at the time.

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
i'm usually on bus when i think of it, i don't feel i can post anywhere else, it gives me a formulated way to put my thoughts and feelings down rather than a long rambling post. and also, it keeps it out of the way.

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
yes, i have done.

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
yes, i'm getting more conscious of trying, anyway.

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
not noticeably, it fluctuates. but then i don't use this forum regularly, because i'm not always in the mindset or in the right place.

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
i would recommend trying it, yes.

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Post by nailz » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:46 am

Why do you visit before and after?
---------------------------------------
Because I believe that the key to understanding why I (and others) SI is possibly to be found here - understanding the why before and the result after can (I believe) be important in my own journey of self discovery and recovery.

What do you get out of it?
-----------------------------
I really haven't spent enought time here to know yet - but I hope to get some insight and perhaps some answers. Maybe a new way of looking at the problem...

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
----------------------------
Just jumping in to get a start - you know posting to get started on this journey of self realization and discovery - posting seemed like a good way to begin participating in trying to discover and recover....


Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
-------------------------
The ones I have read so far contain bits and pieces of the puzzle - so, yes, I find the replies helpful. All sincere input is helpful - maybe not to me individually but maybe to another or perhaps in the future for me. You just never know.


Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A bit - as I said, I am new here so so the putting what into practice is a bit new too, but I am making a sincere try and intend to continue to do so - working for more consistancy.


Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not as yet - but I have noticed that I tend to think about the whys and wherefores more - trying to figure it out and keep track of how I feel at the time.


Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
-----------------------------
I would reccomend anything that helps one to quit or try quitting or to look at why they do what they do that is harmful - so, yes, definitely.
I'm female, fiftyone and still suviving. Life is good... relatively speaking.

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Post by pandablue » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:27 am

Why do you visit before and after?

To help fight off the urge and understand where it comes from.
What do you get out of it?
Insight and support.

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens

After~ I wanted input as how to avoid the situation again...learn from my mistake. Before~I thought it would help slow my mind down by answering the questions and input might help in fighting the urge.
Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
Most helpful Yes
Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
Yes
Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
Yes
Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
Yes, Yes

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Post by narcoleptic » Sat Oct 29, 2005 1:12 am

Why do you visit before and after?

Whenever I feel like I have no where else to go I try and post here.

What do you get out of it?

Sense of not being too alone. Then I feel kinda watched, like I'm responsible for my actions.

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens

I hate the idea of admitting I cut myself but if admitting I feel like it makes me stop then I'll do it.

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?

Yes.

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?

Yes.

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?

I guess.

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?

Not sure. I suppose.

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Re: Questionnaire on *You* & Before and After forum

Post by kcubrats » Mon Jan 16, 2006 9:56 am

Why do you visit before and after?
because it helps me to stop before i SI

What do you get out of it?
release, i mean, it helps me to think things twice

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
i post coz i want to stop and im willing to struggle the urge before

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
yes

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
i've tried

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
yes

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
yes but as long as you're willing to stop (if you post a "before")
NEVER AGAIN.....sometime soon :fairy:

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Re: Questionnaire on *You* & Before and After forum

Post by angel2262 » Fri Mar 10, 2006 5:09 am

Why do you visit before and after?
I want to own up to my actions not only as an SIer but also as an adult which I need to become.
What do you get out of it?
I learn about myself and my tendiencies
What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens

Like I said to own up to what I did to take resposibility for it and to overcome this behavior
Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
I feel alone in this battle and comments help me not only overcome this but also to realize I'm not alone
Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?

I always do.. When I learn someting I add it to a list I try before I do something.
Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
I have wen't from 3*a month to maybe 1* depending on what happens
Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
I have sent people Here for help and believe it helps so I will continue.
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Re: Questionnaire on *You* & Before and After forum

Post by Emma Wallace » Mon Jul 03, 2006 4:03 pm

*Why do you visit before and after?

I come here when I'm on my last straw and I feel like I can't avoid giving in to the urges I'm having.

*What do you get out of it?

When I first started coming here, I answered the questions for the sake of doing it, but more and more I've been finding that once I work through the questions I find that I feel better and that I don't need to act on the urges.

*What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens?

I'm usually already on the bus, posting to other forums and looking for distractions. When those aren't working, I come here.

*Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?

Replies are nice as a supportive thing, but I don't usually find them very constructive. But I don't think that's the point of this forum, at least for me. I see it as a place where I come to have constructive conversations with myself. I don't expect to get constructive replies from others, though I wouldn't mind them either.

*Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?

Yes and no. I don't always use the plan I make here. SOmetimes just the act of planning is what I need and once I'm in that mindset I can figure out what I'm going to do next.

*Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?

I've stopped SIing pretty much before I came to the bus, so there's not much room for decrease there. But I've noticed that I'm not just "white knuckling" my way through the urges these days, and that by answering the questions I'm helping myself to get past the urges. It makes it easier to avoid SIing.

*Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?

Yes and no. I didn't find it very helpful at first; I did it because I was desperate. So, it's probably not going to be something that everyone will find useful at the particular point they are at. I think the questions are a very positive thing, and that people should give them a try and keep them in mind as an option.

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Post by Callisto » Mon Sep 11, 2006 7:57 pm

Why do you visit before and after?
To learn about my urges and how to control them.

What do you get out of it?
It forces me to think before I act.

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
The fact that I really want to stop si'ing because I know it hurts both me emotionally in the long run and those who care about me.

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
Yes as it makes me look further than that moment.

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
Yes sort of.

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
Yes sort of, I'd already stopped for a while before using this forum, but I hope it will help make it a permanent thing.

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others
Yes

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Post by teacher2B » Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:36 am

Why do you visit before and after?
I just joined. I've been having frequent "episodes" lately, and need/want to get to the bottom of what's going on to make it happen so often.

What do you get out of it?
I'm hoping this will help me figure out what's going on before I resort to self harm and make me realize what happened when I do slip.

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
Like right now...I'm clear headed enough to know that I need to try distracting myself and figuring out what's going on with me, but know that I'm headed for an urge that'll be hard to get out of soon.

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
N/A

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
I hope to.

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
I hope to.

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
yes

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XXPixieXX
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Re: Questionnaire on *You* & Before and After forum

Post by XXPixieXX » Tue Apr 10, 2007 1:51 am

Why do you visit before and after?
So far Ive only used the 'before' questionnaire. I use it because it gives me time and space to work out how Im feeling and what I want to do

What do you get out of it?
A sense of control

What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, feeling, or what happens
My SI/SU urges come together (such fun! :roll:) It might be via a trigger or it might just be a general internal build up of negative feelings.

Do you find the replies helpful in understanding what happened or what you might try in the future?
I find my own replies to the questionnaire interesting and useful. I answer each question as immediately as I can, without thinking too much. I just let the words flow. I appreciate any replies from others too. Ive done one twice now, and each time Ive learned from it and its been a positive and helpful experience

Have you had a go at putting what you've learnt into practise?
I endevour to do so. I think its an ongoing learning experience

Have you noticed a decrease in your si since interacting with this forum?
Well, since joining I havent SI/SH. Prior to joining, the last time I harmed myself was in January of this year. I joined as a way of helping me support myself in continuing to abstain.

Would you recommend this forum and activity of using quesitons to help deal with urges to others?
Yes, most definitely. I told my therapist about your 'Before & After' questionnaires and my use of them. He thought they were a very good idea :)

XXPixieXX

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