Getting through christmas/new year

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 11:19 pm

thought i'd start this thread...
the poll on main suggested that a lot of bussers find christmas/new year difficult...
so.. use this thread for whatever. share coping tips ( i know i could do with some

), talk about your feelings.

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 1:05 am

I'm afraid of being lonely, everyone being away and such, and afraid everyone will be away from BUS too! Do you think that will happen, will BUS really slow down alot?

I can't remember from last year.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 6:25 am

Excellent thread!! I'll stickify it if you don't mind

Christmas for me is hard because of the general stress of shopping & getting things done.

It's especially hard this year because of thing being hard with my family. My grandmother is ill and my mother's not coping so well.

Like seashellz.. it's hard because people are away. My doctor is away for three weeks, and most general intitutions & therapists are away.

BUS and my friends online is really my coping mechanism at this time of year. I think.. a lot of Bussers feel the same way, so while lots of people will be away, lots of people will also be around.

I tend to feel lonely on the actual days.. Christmas day and New Years.. because it reminds me of people I love who aren't with me for various reasons. Or friends whom are out at parties that I haven't been invited to.

I try to plan ahead what I'll be doing - staying online with friends. Watching fireworks from my balcony. Plus there's always stuff on TV like carols and final coundowns and stuff

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Sat Dec 23, 2006 12:26 am

it scares me, the thought of a new year. i find it so daunting. i dont want another yearl ike the last year and the year before but i cant seem to make it stop. its alyways "tomorrow i will make it better. tomorrow i''ll stop doing that" and tomorrow never comes

the thought of growing up terrifies me. yknow, the thought of having to do exams at college and go to uni and get a proper job and have kids & make everyone proud. it all seems so impossible. when i look at the year ahead, i never see it as new opportunities, i just see it as another year for bad stuff to happen. ost of the bad stuff that happens, i have no control over what so ever.

christmas... i dunno why ifdin it hard. my grandma died two years ago -- this'll be the 3rd xmas without her but it still feels to me like its the first

i hate christmas. i hate the sentiment and having to spend time with people, and being called mardy if i go to my room or go for a walk or whatever. *shrugs*

im gonna take care of myself, over xmas and new yr, though. i hope so anyways.

MelMel · Post by **MelMel** » Sat Dec 23, 2006 7:40 pm

I agree that the holidays are very stressful indeed. I know that as a divorced mom, seeing my boys leave me at noon on Christmas Day will likely break me. I am very afraid of being alone this Christmas as I have no other family around at all. My SI and SU feelings are already high just thinking about it. I am trying very hard to stay in the moment with my boys, but I am dreadfully afraid on the inside. It is hard to be merry on the outside when I feel this way. But that is all I want them to see. I don't even want to think about the New Year yet...

MusicalMorphine · Post by **MusicalMorphine** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 1:53 pm

I feel like Christmas is supposed to be a big happy family celebration, but ours is never like that. It's not how it's supposed to be. It's only me, my mom, my dad, and my nan. That's the only family I know, and I don't like it.

I guess I should be grateful because some people don't even have that but, I don't know. I don't want January to come either, I don't know why but it really scares me to think about it.

5th section · Post by **5th section** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 7:34 pm

for me it's usually the build-up to xmas that I find hard, not the day itself. for one thing, my family have always kept xmas day fairly quite, and if we're having people staying etc. that's before or after. I feel really relieved on xmas eve when the shops finally shut and if anything isn't ready...then dammit we'll manage without!
I found this year a lot easier than last and I think it's because we all made a real effort to take it as it comes and not have too high expectations..and mostly it worked. there weren't anything like as many argmuents and ups & downs as last year. (the other reason is that last year my sister hadn't been long out of hospital (she has cancer) and everyone's emotions ran a lot hgiher than usual - this year we've had more time to learn how to deal with it. That'll be less relevant to people who aren't in this position but I put it in so you know where I'm coming from).
dunno if that's advice or a shared experience, or just a confused ramble...

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 11:17 pm

the build up to christmas was bloody hard. but i managed to get through it alright. yknow.. no crying/si'ing or anything like that.

new years eve tomorrow. ths is the worst time of yr ever. going to need lots of alcohol, i think.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 4:59 am

NYW is also hard.

why?

because of the expectation that everyone is going to be out having a good time, drinking, with friends.. etc.

I'm staying in this year. Staying in and watching the fireworks from my balcony.

I get to avoid traffic jams & crowded night clubs and possible panic attacks.

Perhaps it could be called isolating myself. But.. I think a quiet night of perhaps some reflection is fine.

Or.. you can just treat it like any other night of the year. Does it seriously matter that it's 31/12/0whatever?

What does it all mean anyway.

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 6:23 pm

Now it is new years eve, and I am all alone all day and night.

I did have plans with my friend K. But she cancelled out at the last minute. She said she wanted to be alone? She was gonna come over to my place and we were gonna hang out, watch a movie, and just talk. But now it's too late for anything else.

And I can't go over to my Mom and Dads they already have plans.

So I'm feeling pretty lonely. I'm just gonna watch a movie by myself, have a drink and go to bed early.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 1:23 am

*nods*

I was alone too.

I watched Chicago on tv, puttered around BUS a bit, watched a few fireworks from my balcony and eventually went to bed.

It's been 2007 here for almost 12 hours.. & yeah. I've tried it on for size, and decided it fits better than 2006 did

I'm sorry you're feeling lopnely seeshellz.. fwiw I'm here *clinks glass* happy new year.

how did everyone else cope?

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 6:57 pm

hope you are okay seeshellz

if ok

um. my new year was... eventful. too much alcohol to remember it. the last thing i remember is crying down the phone at someone

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Fri Dec 14, 2007 2:49 pm

bump bump

there_is_hope · Post by **there_is_hope** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 2:20 am

I've been finding this time of year hard this yea. With stress of shopping and not always feeling happy all the time.

Not really sure how to cope with it this year.

Post by **treasure** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 4:09 am

*tries to think of what to write and cries instead*

i hated christmas with my parents, and i haven't had a family xmas for 5 years or so now. i have sometimes spent it with friends and sometimes alone. it's not that hard to just grit my teeth and distract myself.

new years is worse though. it feels like an expectation. i am "supposed" to be positive, hopeful, looking forward to a new year. i am "supposed" to have caring friends and family around. there is no one, but i don't think i could stand to be with other people anyway.
it feels like there is a while year to face at once. a year of depression, anxiety and general crap. a year of failure and hating myself and being alone.

it's really difficult to change that image. i think sometimes it's easier than i expected and sometimes harder. to cope, i might try and face one day at a time instead of the whole year. i pretend there is nothing except today and i will just get through today. then i try it again the next day. sometimes getting through the day means sleeping a lot or using negative coping things, but i at least got through it.

um, that was a long ramble

i have the internet this year and i didn't last year. i should be able to spend time on bus as well.

xStarBright · Post by **xStarBright** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 3:54 pm

I hate it because all my family always have a big celebration at our house..

Put it this way, my isn't family small, and I hate social situations. They always make me so anxious.. I start thinking about the party months before it happens.. Once when I was about six I just went to my room, and just curled up in a ball and screamed 'till it was over.. I can't do that anymore & I don't know how I'll cope..

Also, christmas bring's so many stress's & I'm forced to over spend and festive spirit just annoys me like hell.. I often find myself so panicky, just locked up in the toilets waiting for my own heartbeat to catch up with myself, if that makes sense..

I suppose I'll just have to grit my teeth and get on with it.

calypso · Post by **calypso** » Sun Dec 16, 2007 1:06 pm

It's the shopping that gets me. I don't do much, (no money,) but you can't go anywhere without manic crowds and ugh. It makes me so, so anxious. I feel stupid that I don't feel great when I should because it's supposed to be all joyous and crap

My friends aren't massively into it either though, so it should be ok.

Post by **splitimage** » Sun Dec 16, 2007 6:04 pm

I just feel really lonely.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sun Dec 16, 2007 6:12 pm

i don't like xmas for two reasons really....

1) i have to spend time with my family and act all nicey-nicey and happy around people who don't give two hoots about me the rest of the year (most of them are barely able to remember my birthday or how old i am

) so i feel uncomfortable.

2) loneliness -- it gets worse at this time of year as everyone seems to be paired up and enjoying xmas romance and off to parties and im not and can't because of lack of transport home and my home situation making it so that going out to celebrate NYE would cause more problems than its worth.

any ideas on how to beat back the festive lonelies?

Mayalaen · Post by **Mayalaen** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:20 am

the_tempest wrote:any ideas on how to beat back the festive lonelies?

Heh - I wish I had some suggestions other than chatting online with friends.

I hate the holidays because everybody is in a hurry/in a bad mood. It's supposed to be a time of giving and caring and shit, but it just ends up being stressful for everybody and making people mean!

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Getting through christmas/new year

Getting through christmas/new year

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