How you feel & what you're going to DO about it.
- the edge of the world
- knows the ropes
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- Joined: Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:04 am
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- Location: the edge of the world, duh!...
angry. that my mom was basically yelling (she has a loud voice) in the bookstore that I wasn't prepared for the SAT Lit tomorrow and was just starting to study tonight, though Lit is an easy test and it won't eat me and none of the science colleges really care about it much and grrr. and that she doesn't believe in me.
win. I'm going to kill the SAT. I'm going to crush it into little tiny bitty bones and put them in hydrochloric acid and watch them distinetrate as they writhe.... or just win. that means study. that means go. that means .
(edit to add details)
win. I'm going to kill the SAT. I'm going to crush it into little tiny bitty bones and put them in hydrochloric acid and watch them distinetrate as they writhe.... or just win. that means study. that means go. that means .
(edit to add details)
I feel tired. And lonely. And sad. And nostalgic. And worried. And proud.
I am going to either call a friend or look through my picture folder, which will help. I am also going to e-mail another friend. I'm going to remember that my feelings get stronger when I'm tired, so it's logic that I would feel this way. And I'm going to tell myself how good I've been for cleaning today. I'm not going to clean anymore today, instead after I've done the above, I'm going to curl up with ER.
I am going to either call a friend or look through my picture folder, which will help. I am also going to e-mail another friend. I'm going to remember that my feelings get stronger when I'm tired, so it's logic that I would feel this way. And I'm going to tell myself how good I've been for cleaning today. I'm not going to clean anymore today, instead after I've done the above, I'm going to curl up with ER.
- 5th section
- just plain inspiring
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- Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
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Stressed. Feeling like the situation I'm stressed about was my fault in the first place.
(to be specific - the band I direct is playing a Remembrance service in exactly a week. We haven't got enough players and people are cancelling on us. it sounds daft but situations like this get me really panicky, worse than a lot of more serious things, and it was in a situation like this 5 years ago that I SI'd for the first time).
Right.
I've already emailed one person about it...I'll remember to follow it up
ask people tomorrow. make a load of posters and stick them up, send things round email lists, all the usual sort of thing. Make the band committee help me -they should be anyway, this SHOUDLN'T be my responsibility, why am i making it?
that's the practical stuff. That starts tomorrow. do something tonight that'll keep my mind away from it, like carry on with the stuff I was writing. Listen to Sinfonia Antarctica again - I'd forgotten how good it was.
(to be specific - the band I direct is playing a Remembrance service in exactly a week. We haven't got enough players and people are cancelling on us. it sounds daft but situations like this get me really panicky, worse than a lot of more serious things, and it was in a situation like this 5 years ago that I SI'd for the first time).
Right.
I've already emailed one person about it...I'll remember to follow it up
ask people tomorrow. make a load of posters and stick them up, send things round email lists, all the usual sort of thing. Make the band committee help me -they should be anyway, this SHOUDLN'T be my responsibility, why am i making it?
that's the practical stuff. That starts tomorrow. do something tonight that'll keep my mind away from it, like carry on with the stuff I was writing. Listen to Sinfonia Antarctica again - I'd forgotten how good it was.
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- Licentia Poetica
- forum moderator emeritus
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- pretty
- board admin emeritus
- Posts: 8689
- Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2003 7:43 pm
- Location: middle of england
Exhausted and drained.
Shower, go to bed and read for a bit. That way I get to relax and hopefully sleep.
Shower, go to bed and read for a bit. That way I get to relax and hopefully sleep.
'this is what she says gets her through it,
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world
place
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world
place
- Licentia Poetica
- forum moderator emeritus
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- Location: Australia
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totally futile.
wait.
wait.
If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins
- wilson
- just plain inspiring
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- Location: aussie-land Age: eighteen
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like telling everyone what i really feel and see how they cope with it.
bite my tounge and distract myself
bite my tounge and distract myself
<center>R.I.P. 23/07/89 - 05/11/01
R.I.P. 1953-2008
counting stars
im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>
R.I.P. 1953-2008
counting stars
im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>
- Licentia Poetica
- forum moderator emeritus
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- Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
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- Location: Australia
- Contact:
I feel really disgusting in my body right now. SI, my skin is bad, my hair has roots, my nailpolish needs to be taken off, just.. ick.
It's hot here, so that contributes to the feeling. I'm going to have a shower, wash my hair, NOT put any products in it this time, take off my nail polish, fix up my skin & SI, try to let it heal for a bit.. maybe buy some skin products like masks and such even just to make me feel better, and eventually when my skin clears I'm going to dye my hair again.
It's hot here, so that contributes to the feeling. I'm going to have a shower, wash my hair, NOT put any products in it this time, take off my nail polish, fix up my skin & SI, try to let it heal for a bit.. maybe buy some skin products like masks and such even just to make me feel better, and eventually when my skin clears I'm going to dye my hair again.
If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins
- Seeshellz
- my other car is a bus
- Posts: 34295
- Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 1:51 am
- Location: Hiding in my shell...
tired, depressed and lonely
I tried to go to sleep but can't right now so will try later, listening to music helps, and BUS helps, journalling, also can try coloring if I lose my concentration, could try and call some friends, but am feeling like they would reject me, must be the depression....
I tried to go to sleep but can't right now so will try later, listening to music helps, and BUS helps, journalling, also can try coloring if I lose my concentration, could try and call some friends, but am feeling like they would reject me, must be the depression....
"If you learn from your suffering,
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
- Seeshellz
- my other car is a bus
- Posts: 34295
- Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 1:51 am
- Location: Hiding in my shell...
I feel anxious and nervous about my case manager coming over soon.
I'm going to talk to her about it, and about what happened the last time after she left and hopefully we can find a solution.
I'm going to talk to her about it, and about what happened the last time after she left and hopefully we can find a solution.
"If you learn from your suffering,
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
- one out of none
- bus addict
- Posts: 2874
- Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:59 pm
- Seeshellz
- my other car is a bus
- Posts: 34295
- Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 1:51 am
- Location: Hiding in my shell...
Physically sick.
Try to rest, drink ginger ale and tea, eat a bit to have some strength, try to get better...
Try to rest, drink ginger ale and tea, eat a bit to have some strength, try to get better...
"If you learn from your suffering,
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
- Seeshellz
- my other car is a bus
- Posts: 34295
- Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 1:51 am
- Location: Hiding in my shell...
I'm feeling urgy to cut or OD(just to hurt myself or numb myself) and thoughts of SU but I won't kill myself, but the thoughts are really bothering me...
I already called my therapist, I could call my case worker, I am coping the best I can on BUS using distractions(games), I'm going to try and read a new novel if I can concentrate, could exercise, could colour, do my Spanish if I can concentrate on that...mainly distract and self soothe somehow...
I already called my therapist, I could call my case worker, I am coping the best I can on BUS using distractions(games), I'm going to try and read a new novel if I can concentrate, could exercise, could colour, do my Spanish if I can concentrate on that...mainly distract and self soothe somehow...
"If you learn from your suffering,
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
- the edge of the world
- knows the ropes
- Posts: 4717
- Joined: Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:04 am
- Gender: female
- Location: the edge of the world, duh!...
I'm feeling trapped. My T asked me to agree to a verbal contract that I would call her if I ever felt I was over the line of su thoughts... but I don't know where the line is, and I don't know that I can honestly agree to that. I'm going to email her about it when I finish my homework, because I feel more comfortable discussing that in writing.
- the edge of the world
- knows the ropes
- Posts: 4717
- Joined: Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:04 am
- Gender: female
- Location: the edge of the world, duh!...
- Seeshellz
- my other car is a bus
- Posts: 34295
- Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 1:51 am
- Location: Hiding in my shell...
Feeling really happy for a change...
Gonna enjoy myself!!! So happy!! Have the stereo on!! Watch a movie later, call some friends up!!
Gonna enjoy myself!!! So happy!! Have the stereo on!! Watch a movie later, call some friends up!!
"If you learn from your suffering,
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
- Seeshellz
- my other car is a bus
- Posts: 34295
- Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 1:51 am
- Location: Hiding in my shell...
I'm feeling slightly manic and don't feel like eating..and I've been up since before 5am and haven't eaten anything...and it's past lunchtime...
I'm going to force myself to eat something. And I'm going to take my meds. I don't know what to do about the mania, except not to make it go higher on purpose...
I'm going to force myself to eat something. And I'm going to take my meds. I don't know what to do about the mania, except not to make it go higher on purpose...
"If you learn from your suffering,
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,
you might be able to help someone else who's now
in the phase you may have just completed.
Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."
Anonymous
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