Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Locked
User avatar
ForgottenMemories
settling in
settling in
Posts: 86
Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 6:38 am
Gender: girly parts for me
Location: rainy west coast

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by ForgottenMemories » Mon Feb 21, 2011 7:31 am

i've finally figured out what i need but i'm never going to get it. i need to be held and touched by the person i'm in love with. too bad he lives three states away.

i-i was wrong to tell you those things and now i don't know what to do. i've done more ridiculousness these past couple weeks with you than i have all year. i don't know my own mind anymore.
You can have peace or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.
There's a drive in me that won't allow me to do certain things that are easy.
This was freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.
I just don't want to die without a few scars.
One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
You've got to burn me. Make me bleed. Turn my pain into fantasy. And if I scream it's only just, love can hurt much more than lust.

User avatar
Eisa
driving instructor
driving instructor
Posts: 5706
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2008 2:23 pm
Gender: Genderfluid
Location: Virginia

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Eisa » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:14 am

I'm sorry, but you're making me feel terribly broken and scared, and I don't like the feeling at all. :puppydogeyes: I really am trying my best, but it's starting to feel like my best isn't good enough, and you expect a lot more. And if I don't give that much more, you think I'm not trying. :-? I don't know how else to convince you that I'm trying my hardest and that these things take time...and that I have a lot more going wrong than I think even you know. :o
We come in pieces. :pinkstar:

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process, he does not become a monster. And when you look long into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you."~Nietzsche

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

My Place
My PBH

BUS family:
Twin~Beasty
Elf Sib~Sprink
Fairy Mummy~Starry
Younger Sissy~Kate
Big Bruvver~Dan
Half-Sissy~Annabel
Cousin~Peggie
Aunt~Mande
Sprinkled Cupcake~Noldo

:heart: :1hug: :1soothe: :heart:

User avatar
a7xcncangel
bus conductor
bus conductor
Posts: 5045
Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2009 9:30 pm
Gender: male
Location: Michigan

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by a7xcncangel » Tue Feb 22, 2011 11:16 pm

A: I wish you didn't bitch me out like that. You hurt me, but I'm not going to let your words make me slip up or bring me down. Honestly, I just feel sorry for you that you're so full of hate and are still doing shitty. I really don't give a shit about you, and wish you could practice some self control and stop talking to me and trying to put me down. It just shows how immature you are and that you haven't changed or grown a bit since I last saw you. So fuck you.
Mum: ReineDuSommeil
Sister: waydownsouth, nomad2207, noldo
Brother: sirjnj
Daughter: Azira
Cousin: DuchessN, jadestarwalking
Aunt: Cheycatsgarden

User avatar
Descent
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 191
Joined: Sat Feb 19, 2011 10:01 pm
Gender: Female
Location: United States

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Descent » Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:15 am

:purpheart: P: You have no idea how much you hurt me that night. Not only was I fighting the urge to SI, but I was seriously considering suicide to relieve myself from the stress that you caused me. I want things to be okay between us, but I don't think we'll ever have a good friendship. I just want to end things, but I don't know how to live without you.

:ylwheart: A: Why aren't you ever there for me anymore? Do you even care? Do I even matter to you? I miss when I could go to you about anything, but after you betrayed me, I feel like I can't trust you. And I had trust issues to begin with. Now I don't have anyone to talk to. I miss you.. But things will never be the same.

:cyheart: J: I love you and you're my best friend, but I don't know if I can ever open up to you the same way I did with P and A. I don't feel like I can trust anybody anymore. I'm so scared of what people are capable of. I'm sorry.. You don't deserve to have a mess like me as a best friend. You should get close to someone who's better for you..
there.is.always.hope
"Don't follow your dreams; chase them."
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

-->*My Place* *My PBH*<--
:redstar: :star: :ylwstar: :grnstar: :bluestar: :dkpurpstar:

strider 151
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3422
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:47 pm
Gender: female
Location: my mind
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by strider 151 » Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:30 pm

how dare you say all of that to me and then have the nerve to ask me how i am!!!!??!!?! well how do un think i am???? why should i put my trust in anyone because as soon as i do they throw it back in my face


but i think deep down i enjoy the pain u bring me
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.


:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*

User avatar
Licentia Poetica
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 24935
Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
Gender: Female
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Licentia Poetica » Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:53 pm

Just don't leave me. Please. I want you. I just want you. That's all I want or need in this life. I'm terrified I will lose you if I relapse.
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

Image

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

User avatar
stripysocks4christ
awe-inspiring
awe-inspiring
Posts: 6605
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:45 pm
Gender: female :)
Location: inside my head

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by stripysocks4christ » Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:18 pm

JS - i knew this would happen. i knew that if i showed you then you would just give up on me. im trying to see things from your perspective. but i kinda knew this would happen eventually. it was my fault for believing anything else...
"Love does not make the world go round... It’s what makes the ride worth while"
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"

"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13

"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."


xx Kitti xx


:heart: :ylwheart: :grnheart: :blueheart: :lpurpheart: :blueheart: :grnheart: :ylwheart: :heart:

my place
my poems

User avatar
desperateforgrace
forum moderator - spirit
forum moderator - spirit
Posts: 5874
Joined: Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:31 am
Gender: female

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by desperateforgrace » Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:40 pm

I don't know if I can trust guys in your position of trust anymore. Two of them already hurt me emotionally, and I don't want to get hurt anymore. I am really scared of having you in my life knowing that you will probably be there for a REALLY long time if I decide to stay where I am right now. And if I am distant , it is because I am. But it is not your fault, it is that I need to be sure I will never get hurt by you. Because if you did and you found out about me (i.e...my bad habits and all), you would surely reject me and my spirit would die forever.
By day I wear a mask of happiness and openness
By night, I cry a flood of tears
Wanting so much to show my real face
And be enshrouded in grace

"You are not told to build a skyscraper. You are told to be faithful with your brick."-FT
"You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held /Your world's not falling apart; it's falling into place."-Casting Crowns' "Just Be Held"

Rose and Paws are my sisters :)
My new place
My OLD place
my PBH
My poetry

User avatar
capricorn
awe-inspiring
awe-inspiring
Posts: 6410
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:21 pm
Gender: Female
Location: London, UK
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by capricorn » Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:07 pm

Oh my fucking God, why are you such a twat?
How can you just sit there and ... think you're so cool and liberal and that you're all ~gay rights~ and with it and what the fuck ever, and throw around the word faggot like it's nothing? You are so fucking offensive. You just ... wind me up so much. I'm sick of all of you.


And what the hell are you talking about? Jesus. Learn to recognise a joke when you see one.


And you ... I hope one day the world realises how ridiculous and spoilt you are. Actually, no, the WORLD realises that. I hope one day you'll wake up and SEE yourself and realise what an absolute idiot and twat you've been making of yourself. I really can't stand you and I don't know how I ever did.
~Capri
xoxo

"Awake and unafraid."
My Chemical Romance


"I am haunted by humans."
The Book Thief


"Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind."
Lana Del Rey


"It's always darkest just before the dawn. So stay awake with me. Let's prove them wrong."
Rise Against

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune

User avatar
Annybelly
being the change
being the change
Posts: 12534
Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:38 pm
Gender: Female

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Annybelly » Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:40 pm

What's wrong?
I'm scared there's something wrong with you, too.
Please, no. Please, please no.
♥ "Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear." ♥

♥ "You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." ♥

♥ "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." ♥

♥ "I lit up like a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace." ♥

♥ "Things haven't always been this bad, therefore, things won't always be this bad." ♥

My Place
My Efforts At Being Healthy
My Bus Butterfly Obsession

♥ DFTBA ♥

User avatar
Lynds
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 425
Joined: Thu May 18, 2006 6:19 pm
Location: Sussex, England

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Lynds » Sat Feb 26, 2011 9:36 pm

I really want to be friends with you. You seem like a really interesting and nice guy. But I have all these horrible past experiences of things going wrong and ending up in situations I don't want to be in and don't want to cope with. Plus recently I keep doing this 'act' and it's the same pattern I've been stuck in before and I'm scared you're another one of those.

I want you to come into work soon so we can chat like normal people and maybe grab a coffee but without the horrible pressure of you thinking it's a date and me saying 'no it's not'. I don't know why I get so nervous when I see you-I think it's because you caught me off guard the other week and I'm a sucker for pleasing people so hate saying 'no'.

If you called me tonight I'd tell you about the shitty day I've had, about being a bit disillusioned with my friends, I'd tell you about bands I like and tattoos, about J and why I love him. I'd tell you how nice it is to have a new friend and I'd tell you that I'd like to sit on C Green and eat sandwiches in the summer and go drinking in the C and play pool in the evenings.

I don't know why but I have this overwhelming feeling that I need to make things OK between us and I don't even know you apart from to say 'hi' to really. I'm really bummed I didn't come tonight but I didn't have the confidence to go on my own and meet you and your friends there. Plus it would emphasize how many of my mates were busy. I wish L had been free then we would have gone.

I just have this feeling that I want you in my life. I don't know if that's because I think we'd make good friends or because I hate disappointing people...hmm...It would be nice if you could call me tonight even though that thought terrifies me.

:bfly:
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker

User avatar
Birdie
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 2124
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:34 pm
Gender: Female
Location: United States

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Birdie » Sat Feb 26, 2011 9:44 pm

I miss you like fucking hell. I know you don't feel the same way anymore, but looking into your eyes singing karaoke together...I know I still have love for you. You mean so much more to me than you'll ever know.
My place:
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=143006

Jem is my wombat!

Annybelly is my jellybean!

I am 5th Section's pet Birdie!

xPeggiePatchx, DuchessN, xXelmoscaresmeXx, and Stripysocks4christ are my sisters!

Daisy_chain is my cousin!


Tweet Tweet

User avatar
Chey
welcome cow
welcome cow
Posts: 16556
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2010 3:49 pm
Gender: Non Binary
Location: Brantford Ontario

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Chey » Sun Feb 27, 2011 1:47 am

you said it was included, what other surprises are you going to throw at me?


" “In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important” — The Doctor, Season 6, Christmas Special

strider 151
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3422
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:47 pm
Gender: female
Location: my mind
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by strider 151 » Sun Feb 27, 2011 8:54 pm

i feel like u dont care because ur nver there, never on msn, never text, never on fb, never wanna meet up. i guess uve given up on me already. and i dont blame u after what i did. but i really wanna make this work this time, so i wish u would put 100% in
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.


:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*

User avatar
Annybelly
being the change
being the change
Posts: 12534
Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:38 pm
Gender: Female

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Annybelly » Sun Feb 27, 2011 8:57 pm

Seriously.
What's wrong.
I am reading way too much into this?
Please. Be okay. Please.
♥ "Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear." ♥

♥ "You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." ♥

♥ "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." ♥

♥ "I lit up like a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace." ♥

♥ "Things haven't always been this bad, therefore, things won't always be this bad." ♥

My Place
My Efforts At Being Healthy
My Bus Butterfly Obsession

♥ DFTBA ♥

User avatar
Chey
welcome cow
welcome cow
Posts: 16556
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2010 3:49 pm
Gender: Non Binary
Location: Brantford Ontario

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Chey » Thu Mar 03, 2011 1:48 am

I want the renovations to be done NOW!!!!!


" “In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important” — The Doctor, Season 6, Christmas Special

User avatar
Eva
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1236
Joined: Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:53 pm
Location: Scandinavia Age: 30+

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Eva » Thu Mar 03, 2011 3:56 pm

Come back

strider 151
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3422
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:47 pm
Gender: female
Location: my mind
Contact:

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by strider 151 » Fri Mar 04, 2011 8:50 am

i dont like this feeling.
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.


:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*

User avatar
Artemisia
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 482
Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2007 12:53 pm
Gender: femme

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Artemisia » Fri Mar 04, 2011 1:00 pm

K - Please look after me. please understand that i am trying
"A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages"

http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=135967 <<<My Place (please read and comment; it are lonely here :blush: )

LoverlyLaurie is my soul sister :D

Roxi is my twisted sister

User avatar
Annybelly
being the change
being the change
Posts: 12534
Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:38 pm
Gender: Female

Re: Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Post by Annybelly » Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:35 pm

Well? Are you?
Every time someones mentions that word, I wonder, I wonder if you are, or if I'm just paranoid. I can't ask. It'd be. Horrific if you weren't. Just. Tell me. Please.

I kind of hope you're not though. I hope it was the other option. Which makes me a horrible person, I know.
♥ "Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear." ♥

♥ "You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." ♥

♥ "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." ♥

♥ "I lit up like a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace." ♥

♥ "Things haven't always been this bad, therefore, things won't always be this bad." ♥

My Place
My Efforts At Being Healthy
My Bus Butterfly Obsession

♥ DFTBA ♥

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 51 guests