Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Locked
User avatar
namaste
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 1944
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2002 1:00 am
Location: UK
Contact:

Post by namaste » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:42 pm

I really want to be dead. I see no point in life. I'm trapped. I want to stop.
Every time I close the door on reality
it comes in through the windows

Sagarmatha

User avatar
WorkDaySarcasm
chasing buses
chasing buses
Posts: 29333
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 11:14 pm
Gender: Awesome
Location: United in the Kingdom

Post by WorkDaySarcasm » Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:43 am

I don't want to have my secrets let known.

I don't want secrets either.
Image

"A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong.”
[PBH] . [Expressions] . [Place]
3 years 2 month // 3 minor slip ups

User avatar
smr89
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2005 10:56 pm

Post by smr89 » Wed Jan 07, 2009 8:45 pm

I want to kill myself so badly right now. But I probably won't. I guess I don't have the guts. How did life get this bad? How did I rack up this much pain? What can I do to make it go away?
smr89

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

God bless our troops! I love you guys! You are my heros!

User avatar
marshmallowfluff
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 16914
Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:52 pm
Gender: Female
Location: South Yorkshire, UK Age: 26

Post by marshmallowfluff » Thu Jan 08, 2009 12:40 am

i'm not sure if things are getting bad again, or whether its the bitterly cold weather thats making me feel so sad.
Image
"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."

User avatar
Inthebox
building community
building community
Posts: 539
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:30 pm
Gender: F
Location: WNY

Post by Inthebox » Thu Jan 08, 2009 4:46 am

I'm not as well as you think. I just made myself seem better to make you happy.
"We think the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. The healing comes from letting there be room for it all to happen: Room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy." Pema Chodron

"There is room for all of your feelings - take a moment, be quiet and let there be room in your heart and the bursting will ease" C

"What a Long, Strange Trip it's been" Grateful Dead

User avatar
acdcrocker1909
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 10453
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
Gender: Transguy
Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red

Post by acdcrocker1909 » Fri Jan 09, 2009 4:32 am

Being in this house with my mother for days.. kills my mental health.

:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

Image

User avatar
kgraff
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 385
Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:02 pm
Location: Maine

Post by kgraff » Fri Jan 09, 2009 4:51 am

everytime you call me a pice of shit and make me feel so low. it hurts me dad.
PM box wide open
and I LOVE HUGS!!!!

My PLace~~~~
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128510

My writings and stuff~~~
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=129393

User avatar
TikkiLink
settling in
settling in
Posts: 135
Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:44 am

Post by TikkiLink » Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:03 pm

The only thing keeping me here is because I'm afraid I'll go to Hell if I kill myself. The suicidal urges never stop. For more than half my life. And the need for pain. And the emotional distress.

And I remember what you did, dad. The only times you pretended to want to listen to what I had to say, you were only trying to distract me while you violated me. Because you knew I wouldn't tell because it would hurt everyone, and ruin our family.
This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it?

User avatar
breathing
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3133
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:14 am
Gender: n/a

Post by breathing » Sun Jan 11, 2009 6:23 am

I haven't been doing drugs or anything, but quitting really seems worthless right now. I need a 'pick me up', seriously.

I've been praying and it doesn't work for me. Everyone around me seems to have better chances than I do with being content with Christianity.
Despite the fact that most of my friends are apathetic about religion.

User avatar
ambivalent red
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 768
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 7:58 pm
Location: buried deep inside of me

Post by ambivalent red » Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:23 pm

I have several ways of killing my self in my head.
I'm afraid if they dont work I will be confined to a bed somewhere. Or I will be hurt really bad but survive.
Also, I dont want my husband to have to explain that his wife SU'ed.
There's no where to run
There's no where to hide
From what's in your mind - It's a Ghetto
-Supreme Beings Leisure

User avatar
pelagic
sock rocker
sock rocker
Posts: 3615
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:16 am
Gender: Female
Location: International Waters

Post by pelagic » Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:40 pm

I need someone right now, but in all honesty?
I'm alone, so very alone... and that scares me.

User avatar
acdcrocker1909
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 10453
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
Gender: Transguy
Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red

Post by acdcrocker1909 » Tue Jan 13, 2009 9:21 pm

There are some days I wish I never realized how large of a need I have for affection.. but then I remember how damn good it feels.

:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

Image

secrets1109
one of us
one of us
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:01 am
Contact:

sorry... i kinda got carried away.

Post by secrets1109 » Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:53 am

i have so much self hate inside me... no one knows... no one close to me would ever understand... it kills me to hate myself this much.

i want to be "normal".

i feel without the si and eds that there will be nothing left of me. that i will be more of a nobody.

i do this all for control. control of what?... my life?... doesnt it just mess my life up more?... i think it does.

i wish i could of stopped all of the si and ed before they ever started.

i hate myself for who i am.

User avatar
StevieLynn
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3059
Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 3:55 am
Gender: female
Location: Eastern Pennsylvania
Contact:

Post by StevieLynn » Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:52 am

I am dating a 17 year old..... I'm 28.
In Which Something Oooh Occurred

And it felt like a winter machine that you go through and then you catch your breath and winter starts again, and everyone else was springbound. And when I chose to live, there was no joy, it's just a line I crossed. I wasn't worth the pain my death would cost, so I was not lost or found....But when you live in a world, well, it gets in to who you th ought you'd be. And now I laugh at how the world changed me. I think life chose me after all.
--Dar Williams

User avatar
vampirelover
spiffy maximus
spiffy maximus
Posts: 4149
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:45 pm
Gender: F
Location: London ish(England), age : 21

Post by vampirelover » Tue Jan 20, 2009 1:52 pm

im scared
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days

User avatar
SplinteredGirl
sock rocker
sock rocker
Posts: 3844
Joined: Thu Apr 26, 2007 11:11 pm
Gender: female
Location: Vancouver

Post by SplinteredGirl » Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:09 am

i havnt SIed in a month, but all i can think about is next time i will do it..
ive been meening to open up to friends but i just cant. i feel crazy. and just unfunctionaly out of it. i wish these bad moods would go away.. i wish i could sleep better and get things done. im useless

User avatar
Stefani140
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7186
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:04 pm
Gender: F
Location: Chandler, AZ. age:29
Contact:

Post by Stefani140 » Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:32 pm

No one cares. I know they don't care if I'm around or not, but I inflict my presence on them anyway because I'm horribly selfish.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."

PMs, comments, challenges, advice and hugs welcome.

My Place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=128060

Mind Explorer
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
Posts: 63
Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2008 8:28 pm
Location: Belgium
Contact:

Post by Mind Explorer » Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:41 am

I feel like SI'ing. No one knows I haven't left it behind.
I hate the looks they give when I tell about something I have it difficult with, that of compasion. It makes me feel like it is really something to worry about, at the same time I like it because it makes me feel like they care.
I hate the way they wait till I answer and really listen, because I'm scared if I say it's real, but at the same time I'm grateful that they take the time for me.
I hate it if they care about me, but I love it too. I hate to be important for anyone in any way, but I like to be of mather for anyone. I don't find myself important, so how could they?
And I feel threatened by the way they call on me, 'cause what could I do, with me as my person, for them?

User avatar
Beasty
troll sniper
troll sniper
Posts: 14934
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:10 am
Contact:

Post by Beasty » Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:07 pm

I'm breaking inside. Little cracks and fissures. I'm across an ocean, so when I do shatter, there is no one around to help me pick me up again.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

Image

User avatar
vampirelover
spiffy maximus
spiffy maximus
Posts: 4149
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:45 pm
Gender: F
Location: London ish(England), age : 21

Post by vampirelover » Mon Jan 26, 2009 5:08 pm

im scared my dad will abanded me if he finds out im gay
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 102 guests