Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Locked
User avatar
figment
sock rocker
sock rocker
Posts: 3905
Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2005 4:57 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Aussie Land Age: 22

Post by figment » Tue May 27, 2008 4:11 pm

i can never forgive either of you
my place

a new beginning

[thanks to kabluey for the avatar]

RIP 27.12.08
I'll miss you forever. Xx

User avatar
caged bird
board admin emeritus
board admin emeritus
Posts: 22909
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 2:51 pm
Location: UK Age 24
Contact:

Post by caged bird » Tue May 27, 2008 5:43 pm

i'm sorry i hurt you, it sounds cliched but it's not you, it's me. i have too many issues and problems to let you in, i just keep screwing things up one by one -

i wish i could just give in :(
visit my website
My Place

Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly

The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs

User avatar
Scatterbrain
bus conductor
bus conductor
Posts: 5074
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
Location: Washington state, USA

Post by Scatterbrain » Mon Jun 09, 2008 8:32 pm

I'm scared about leaving. I have no clue how the next 2 months will go...

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

Chey Kizoxie

Post by Chey Kizoxie » Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:12 pm

Im excited but a tiny bit nervous about starting placements.

User avatar
nzgurl
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 453
Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 9:58 am
Location: meh.... around
Contact:

Post by nzgurl » Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:32 pm

i love u more than u will ever know
<center>:deb:</center>

<center>My Place - The Opportunity Cost of Life</center>

User avatar
smr89
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2005 10:56 pm

Post by smr89 » Thu Jun 12, 2008 5:39 pm

Right now I hate my fiance. Maybe I dont actually hate him but I certainly don't feel any love. Will I ever again?

6/27/08 Actually I love my fiance, when I wrote this we were fighting. It was anger I was feeling, not hate. I didn't feel love because anger was taking up all the room. I am so honored to be marrying such a wonderful man. It makes me sad that I would say such a thing about him, even if it was said in anger.
Last edited by smr89 on Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
smr89

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

God bless our troops! I love you guys! You are my heros!

User avatar
smr89
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2005 10:56 pm

Post by smr89 » Thu Jun 12, 2008 6:53 pm

**possible triggers

I feel like killing myself. I think about it a lot. The only 2 things that stops me is that I don't know for sure I'd still go to Heaven and my that it would really hurt my mom. She doesn't deserve that. Itd be so easy though.
I'm not stable. Gee what would make me think that?
smr89

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

God bless our troops! I love you guys! You are my heros!

User avatar
amyfairy
postinating the countryside
postinating the countryside
Posts: 23286
Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2004 10:39 pm
Location: UK

Post by amyfairy » Thu Jun 12, 2008 9:03 pm

in a twisted way i miss the days when i just didn't want to eat. i wouldn't be on my way to being the disgusting whale that i am now. i almost want to totally run out of money so there's no chance i can buy food. i don't deseve it. i've eaten far too much. binge binge binge. it really needs to stop. :(

User avatar
Licentia Poetica
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 24935
Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
Gender: Female
Location: Australia
Contact:

Post by Licentia Poetica » Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:51 pm

I think I have finally achieved indifference to you. Or, at least I'm getting there.

Hating you took effort. I'm glad that pleasing you is no longer my problem.
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

Image

If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

User avatar
SarahBee
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 329
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2006 9:15 pm
Location: England

Post by SarahBee » Fri Jun 13, 2008 4:32 am

I was only there for two hours, but when I knew you were away it threw off my entire day. I miss you and I need you. Not even to talk about the big things. Just to know there's someone in my life who cares.
<center>"You were
water to me
deep and bold and fathoming....
You were
sunrise to me
rise and warm and streaming....
<b>Go to your wide futures, you said.</b>"

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."


<b><a href="http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=122444"> My Place!</a></b>

User avatar
Scatterbrain
bus conductor
bus conductor
Posts: 5074
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
Location: Washington state, USA

Post by Scatterbrain » Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:48 am

I'm really questioning my sexuality. I want to talk to W about it cuz he is bi, but he is too distracted with his crush on E. Goddammit, I am so fucking confused... And feeling like I dont want to exist anymore. :(

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

User avatar
Ruby Tuesday
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7103
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2004 10:36 am
Location: on the floor of a library

Post by Ruby Tuesday » Fri Jun 13, 2008 5:31 pm

Iim really scared of visiting them this weekend; the last thing I need to be told right now is to "pull myself together". :-?
"I saw spiders where there were no spiders" - patti smith
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood


place

User avatar
caged bird
board admin emeritus
board admin emeritus
Posts: 22909
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 2:51 pm
Location: UK Age 24
Contact:

Post by caged bird » Fri Jun 13, 2008 6:34 pm

fighting scares me so much, please make up
visit my website
My Place

Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly

The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs

User avatar
VowsOfSadness
sock rocker
sock rocker
Posts: 3975
Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2004 1:33 am
Gender: Female
Location: Pittsburgh, PA AGE:20
Contact:

Post by VowsOfSadness » Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:27 pm

I think my boyfriend killed himself because of me.
I think if he called me I would have been able to stop him.
I think if I hadn't told him bad news that day we would have made it.
I think I made the biggest mistake of my life.
And it's so hard to hold on. It's so scary.
And everyone says "Jonny would have wanted you to live"
And all I can think is Jonny would have wanted me with him.
*Challenges welcome*
I always love a :lpurpstar:

I woke up this morning, I suddenly realized we're all in this together.

Drop by my place & say hi :)
Ask me anything!!!

I'm fully Recovered!

User avatar
vampirelover
spiffy maximus
spiffy maximus
Posts: 4149
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:45 pm
Gender: F
Location: London ish(England), age : 21

Post by vampirelover » Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:09 pm

im afraid ive always been suffering emotional abuse
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days

User avatar
rememberthatiloveyou
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 852
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2008 2:50 am
Location: texas

Post by rememberthatiloveyou » Sat Jun 14, 2008 2:29 am

today is 2 months si free. longest i've made it in a really really really long time. and nobody cares or realizes how very hard that was. all i want to do is si. a lot. but i can't, because i'm a stupid camp counselor.

everything started making sense again and getting better and i have to go screw it up like usual.
We can not do great things, only small things with great love. It is not how much you do but how much love you put into doing it. -Mother Teresa

i'm at my summer job as a camp counselor, if it takes me a while to answer, its not because i'm ignoring you...just don't get on a computer much.

last SI 4-13-08

<a href="http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=123817">my place</a>

User avatar
divided_by_zero
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 2123
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:45 am
Gender: two X chromosomes.
Location: California
Contact:

Post by divided_by_zero » Sun Jun 15, 2008 11:37 pm

I don't have anyone I can go to.
I can't stand half my friends.
"We cannot discover new oceans unless
we have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

ImageImageImage
My photography. Come see!

User avatar
infectiousbrain89
settling in
settling in
Posts: 94
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:39 pm
Gender: female
Location: Louisville,KY Age:21

Post by infectiousbrain89 » Tue Jun 17, 2008 10:56 pm

I think you hurt yourself because of me,and I don't know how to forgive myself for that.

Despite everything I still think life is beautiful.
Last SI 12-2-07 yippee!

Image

~*^*~Chiisa na chikyuu ga mawaru hodo yasashisa mi ni tsuku yo.Mo ichido anata o dakishimetai dekiru dake sotto~*^*~

User avatar
Skyeler
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7686
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2002 3:40 pm
Gender: Male

Post by Skyeler » Sat Jun 21, 2008 4:32 pm

Even though I know that I can' t have him
Even though I know that I don't want him
Even though I know that I'm happier without him and that he's happier without me.

Seeing him with someone else hurts a lot.


Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
[/center]

User avatar
Roxi
knows the ropes
knows the ropes
Posts: 4530
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 9:36 am
Gender: Female

Post by Roxi » Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:07 pm

I am a lier and a manipulative person.
You said you were hurt
and I said turned it against you and made it seem like you were in the wrong ... I am sorry. But somethimes damage conrtrol needs to done.
Image


Image

We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving… We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins… We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything." - Courtney Martin.

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 37 guests