Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:16 pm

don't even start thinking that i'm gonna sleep with you that easy....im not that girl anymore. i deserve more, i deserve better & i know i do. so if you really like me you'll have to work to get to that place.

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acdcrocker1909
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Post by acdcrocker1909 » Mon Dec 03, 2007 12:53 am

I'm scared to think about being better at times.. scared I'll fall and not be able to get back up.

:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

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amyfairy
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Post by amyfairy » Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:04 pm

i'm so fucking jealous of you
and the help you recieve
and the attention
and the caring

i'm recovered
nobody wants to know
it's almost like i was special
and i lost it

and i know it's fucked up
depression does not make you special
it makes you ill

but to not have to make decisions
to be void of responsibility for a bit
man

i'm fucking jealous that people would be prepare to do that for you
and that makes a horrible, jealous, deranged girl.

......... who should NOT have posted this.

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Post by yoursforever_me » Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:08 pm

i don't want to stop SIing but i want to be coping.
i want to be happy but i'm in love with my pain.
i'm scaring myself by these thoughts.
♫then she closed her eyes found relief in His life and she put down her knives♫

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Li'lRuby
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Post by Li'lRuby » Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:37 pm

Hear me. Listen to me. Pay attention to me. Care about me.
Please.
The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, "Why?" and sometimes he thought, "Wherefore?" and sometimes he thought, "Inasmuch as which?" and sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about.
A. A. Milne
From book Winnie the Pooh

Hugs welcome.

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heliotropes
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Post by heliotropes » Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:27 am

......... who should NOT have posted this.
Who should be proud of her honesty and post whatever she likes.

:tongue:
<center> The freckles on the pavement move my every pore
I glimpse and stare and long at them and wonder who they’re for
A fairy came to glitter the concrete slabs today;
Perhaps tomorrow she’ll return to spirit me away

~ A little bit of nothing much ~

Save the only life you can - your own.</center>

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Post by Captain Trips » Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:55 am

I'm sad.
I know you worry about me.
The fact you worry about me just makes me feel worse, I'm not worth it.
I'm really not.
What have I ever done for you?
You don't need me, I'm a waste of space.
And I know that's not a good thing to say, because it makes me sound more deppressed then I probably am.
And it would make you worry more.
So I can't talk to you.

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amyfairy
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Post by amyfairy » Wed Dec 05, 2007 2:42 am

i'm fine
Last edited by amyfairy on Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

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acdcrocker1909
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Post by acdcrocker1909 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:47 am

I'm scared somedays about how much you've helped me.. I'm scared you'd break me like the rest.. but then.. I know that you won't.. I just.. know.. and I'm scared of that.. cause I have never ever felt that kind of trust.. cause everyone else has somehow moved away.. but damn.. you are so steadfast in sticking around.. God.. I love it.

:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

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calypso
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Post by calypso » Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:57 am

I want to buy the blades. They're on special ffs!! How do I resist that?
Ugh, I hate this.

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:09 am

i fucking hate how my emotions always screw me over. sometimes i wish i could just go through life without making any emotional connections at all.
_____________________________________________________________

part of me wants to get more involved in the gay scene, but the idea of being in a proper relationship with a girl scares me because i've never had lesbian sex before and im scared that any girl i met and liked would be put off by that......

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xStarBright
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Post by xStarBright » Fri Dec 07, 2007 5:53 pm

I haven't gotten over a relationship that broke up 2 years ago, even when I broke it up.
I haven't admitted that before. :S

[PMs are OK]

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acdcrocker1909
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Post by acdcrocker1909 » Sat Dec 08, 2007 12:21 am

i'm falling for someone I probably have no chance with.

:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

Image

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sat Dec 08, 2007 12:48 am

everyone i encounter in real life just seems me as some cheap whore that they can use and then ignore, despite how i present myself.......but the truth is all i want is to be liked and loved and accepted.

maybe this is God's way of telling me that i am a cheap whore and that that's why i got raped?

PM's ok (and would be appreciated)

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Post by Mwhahahahax » Sat Dec 08, 2007 2:59 pm

Im Scared Of Death But I Dont Want To Live..

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Post by Mwhahahahax » Sat Dec 08, 2007 3:05 pm

A few months ago, i attempted suicide.Now everyone thinks im happy. But i still want to die.
i hate people who remind me of myself.
I used to be a compulsive liar. and people think ive stopped...
but ive just got better at it

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xStarBright
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Post by xStarBright » Sat Dec 08, 2007 3:15 pm

I hate all my friend's in my own special way, I really believe I could do without them, but I want to help them.
I can't trust anyone, when I do it fuck's up.
I suicide attempted yesterday, I'm not worth it.
This is my only source of help.
Now it's not.

I play my own games, mind game's, mess with people, just to get the overall result.

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Post by nirvana » Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:05 am

i love you. i'm in love with you. i don't want anybody else. i need space. and i need you, at the same time. i scared myself last night. i feel stuck. help.
i thought i was a fool for no one, but baby i'm a fool for you.

[safe since february 2005.]

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sun Dec 09, 2007 3:04 am

PMs ok
im scared that wanting to find the right person instead of settling for the first person who comes along means i'll end up alone with my ex laughing at me.

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toscared
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Post by toscared » Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:31 am

so, I love that he cares,
but it hurts him when I si.
I don't want to hide it from him.
but I know that he finds it painful and he draws away
if I let him know, that I didn't cope,he will be sad
not sad to manipulate me, but sad that I am hurting so bad inside in spite of his love; sad because he can not fix my life.
sad because his love is not enough to fend off my periodic bouts of self hatred.

He is my best friend, but I can't tell him of my pain because it becomes his pain then and I don't want to hurt him.
and so I am stuck. Stuck with no one to talk to when I hurt.
living the life of a plastic person. smiling while cooking and running and working but inside is a ball of pain full of hatred of my youthful excesses. remember the vile things my father said to me when I was a teenager. remember my mom's pet name for me,"clumb Fart- O" (because I am unbelievably clumsy and pass gas often)

and then there is the pain of wanting to be in China where I feel needed and useful, but where my beloved feels bored and useless.
trying to grow where I am planted but struggling, struggling struggling.

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