Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]
- acdcrocker1909
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 10453
- Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
- Gender: Transguy
- Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red
I'm scared to think about being better at times.. scared I'll fall and not be able to get back up.
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
i'm so fucking jealous of you
and the help you recieve
and the attention
and the caring
i'm recovered
nobody wants to know
it's almost like i was special
and i lost it
and i know it's fucked up
depression does not make you special
it makes you ill
but to not have to make decisions
to be void of responsibility for a bit
man
i'm fucking jealous that people would be prepare to do that for you
and that makes a horrible, jealous, deranged girl.
......... who should NOT have posted this.
and the help you recieve
and the attention
and the caring
i'm recovered
nobody wants to know
it's almost like i was special
and i lost it
and i know it's fucked up
depression does not make you special
it makes you ill
but to not have to make decisions
to be void of responsibility for a bit
man
i'm fucking jealous that people would be prepare to do that for you
and that makes a horrible, jealous, deranged girl.
......... who should NOT have posted this.
-
- unpacking boxes
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:45 pm
Hear me. Listen to me. Pay attention to me. Care about me.
Please.
Please.
The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, "Why?" and sometimes he thought, "Wherefore?" and sometimes he thought, "Inasmuch as which?" and sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about.
A. A. Milne
From book Winnie the Pooh
Hugs welcome.
A. A. Milne
From book Winnie the Pooh
Hugs welcome.
- heliotropes
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1081
- Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:34 pm
- Location: London, UK Age: 20
Who should be proud of her honesty and post whatever she likes.......... who should NOT have posted this.
<center> The freckles on the pavement move my every pore
I glimpse and stare and long at them and wonder who they’re for
A fairy came to glitter the concrete slabs today;
Perhaps tomorrow she’ll return to spirit me away
~ A little bit of nothing much ~
Save the only life you can - your own.</center>
I glimpse and stare and long at them and wonder who they’re for
A fairy came to glitter the concrete slabs today;
Perhaps tomorrow she’ll return to spirit me away
~ A little bit of nothing much ~
Save the only life you can - your own.</center>
- Captain Trips
- building community
- Posts: 701
- Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 12:48 am
I'm sad.
I know you worry about me.
The fact you worry about me just makes me feel worse, I'm not worth it.
I'm really not.
What have I ever done for you?
You don't need me, I'm a waste of space.
And I know that's not a good thing to say, because it makes me sound more deppressed then I probably am.
And it would make you worry more.
So I can't talk to you.
I know you worry about me.
The fact you worry about me just makes me feel worse, I'm not worth it.
I'm really not.
What have I ever done for you?
You don't need me, I'm a waste of space.
And I know that's not a good thing to say, because it makes me sound more deppressed then I probably am.
And it would make you worry more.
So I can't talk to you.
- acdcrocker1909
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 10453
- Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
- Gender: Transguy
- Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red
I'm scared somedays about how much you've helped me.. I'm scared you'd break me like the rest.. but then.. I know that you won't.. I just.. know.. and I'm scared of that.. cause I have never ever felt that kind of trust.. cause everyone else has somehow moved away.. but damn.. you are so steadfast in sticking around.. God.. I love it.
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
i fucking hate how my emotions always screw me over. sometimes i wish i could just go through life without making any emotional connections at all.
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part of me wants to get more involved in the gay scene, but the idea of being in a proper relationship with a girl scares me because i've never had lesbian sex before and im scared that any girl i met and liked would be put off by that......
_____________________________________________________________
part of me wants to get more involved in the gay scene, but the idea of being in a proper relationship with a girl scares me because i've never had lesbian sex before and im scared that any girl i met and liked would be put off by that......
- xStarBright
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7839
- Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:19 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Yorkshire, UK
- acdcrocker1909
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 10453
- Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
- Gender: Transguy
- Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red
i'm falling for someone I probably have no chance with.
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
everyone i encounter in real life just seems me as some cheap whore that they can use and then ignore, despite how i present myself.......but the truth is all i want is to be liked and loved and accepted.
maybe this is God's way of telling me that i am a cheap whore and that that's why i got raped?
PM's ok (and would be appreciated)
maybe this is God's way of telling me that i am a cheap whore and that that's why i got raped?
PM's ok (and would be appreciated)
-
- one of us
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 5:53 pm
-
- one of us
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 5:53 pm
- xStarBright
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7839
- Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:19 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Yorkshire, UK
I hate all my friend's in my own special way, I really believe I could do without them, but I want to help them.
I can't trust anyone, when I do it fuck's up.
I suicide attempted yesterday, I'm not worth it.
This is my only source of help.
Now it's not.
I play my own games, mind game's, mess with people, just to get the overall result.
I can't trust anyone, when I do it fuck's up.
I suicide attempted yesterday, I'm not worth it.
This is my only source of help.
Now it's not.
I play my own games, mind game's, mess with people, just to get the overall result.
so, I love that he cares,
but it hurts him when I si.
I don't want to hide it from him.
but I know that he finds it painful and he draws away
if I let him know, that I didn't cope,he will be sad
not sad to manipulate me, but sad that I am hurting so bad inside in spite of his love; sad because he can not fix my life.
sad because his love is not enough to fend off my periodic bouts of self hatred.
He is my best friend, but I can't tell him of my pain because it becomes his pain then and I don't want to hurt him.
and so I am stuck. Stuck with no one to talk to when I hurt.
living the life of a plastic person. smiling while cooking and running and working but inside is a ball of pain full of hatred of my youthful excesses. remember the vile things my father said to me when I was a teenager. remember my mom's pet name for me,"clumb Fart- O" (because I am unbelievably clumsy and pass gas often)
and then there is the pain of wanting to be in China where I feel needed and useful, but where my beloved feels bored and useless.
trying to grow where I am planted but struggling, struggling struggling.
but it hurts him when I si.
I don't want to hide it from him.
but I know that he finds it painful and he draws away
if I let him know, that I didn't cope,he will be sad
not sad to manipulate me, but sad that I am hurting so bad inside in spite of his love; sad because he can not fix my life.
sad because his love is not enough to fend off my periodic bouts of self hatred.
He is my best friend, but I can't tell him of my pain because it becomes his pain then and I don't want to hurt him.
and so I am stuck. Stuck with no one to talk to when I hurt.
living the life of a plastic person. smiling while cooking and running and working but inside is a ball of pain full of hatred of my youthful excesses. remember the vile things my father said to me when I was a teenager. remember my mom's pet name for me,"clumb Fart- O" (because I am unbelievably clumsy and pass gas often)
and then there is the pain of wanting to be in China where I feel needed and useful, but where my beloved feels bored and useless.
trying to grow where I am planted but struggling, struggling struggling.
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