Just One Victory - Coping With Substance Abuse Problems
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- one of us
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- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 8:03 pm
hey guys. i know how u feel i ahve felt like m ylife has been constantly addiction jumping. ive managed to fight being anorexic and drugs and alcohol the only thing i have left to beat is SH. when i was anorexic i also go addicted to pills and exercise which i amaged to quit and now im a healthy size ten. And drugs i did heavily every day and i dont mean small amounts i mean big amounts for 6 years and i woke up one day and relaised if i didnt quit id be in the gutter so i stopped what i did was move dbak home where i knew the temptation was far less because i coulnt get hold of any and do you know what apart from occasional use once a year i ahve quit for 4 years which makes me so proud! and i can now be around plp doing drugs with it not botjereing me at all. I think i ahve an addictive personality so i get addicted to things too easily. and i ahve finalky managed to stop drinking as well now i have one a week and thats it so i have that far under control. . Because my dads dying sinc ei wa sten and i ahd to be a carer and didnt have a normal childhood i rebelled mxuh later in my 20s and i was tryign to forget the pain of everything. so it can be done if your strong enough. and i ahve lost a lot of plp because they didnt udnerstand why i turned back and quit scene but i knew in my heart it was right hing to do. so never give up hope.
- splitimage
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I had a really bad craving to drink last week - the night before a job interview but I went to an AA meeting instead. This Wed., Sept. 19 will be 6 months sober for me which means I can apply to get my drivers licence back.
---splitimage
---splitimage
"Don't go searching for a mermaid son, unless you know how to swim."
from The Mermaid - Great Big Sea
My blog is offline and has been down for a while due to a problem with the Isp and my web master. Working on rebuilding it.
from The Mermaid - Great Big Sea
My blog is offline and has been down for a while due to a problem with the Isp and my web master. Working on rebuilding it.
I think I might be becoming addicted to prescription sedatives, but I don't know what to do. The panic attacks just get so bad, and come every day. I went all of yesterday without any pills, but lost it in the middle of the night and had to take something.
This isn't me. I just can't figure out how I got this desperate. And that only makes it all seem worse.
This isn't me. I just can't figure out how I got this desperate. And that only makes it all seem worse.
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- unpacking boxes
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- Location: Ohio
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I know I jump from addiction to addiction. Everything from alcohol, to cigarettes, to painkillers, to harder drugs. I thought I could stop whenever I wanted to, but I quickly learned that I haven't. Lately, all I have been doing is smoking cigarettes. I've had major major urges to drink or do drugs, but I've managed to not touch drugs since.. maybe 3 weeks ago. Last time I drank was about a week ago. It's really hard. Really freakin' hard. But, it's just such a natural reaction when things are going downhill to reach for those crutches and vices. I'm hoping that this stops soon.
<center>See you dance away
all this bitter pain
See you move in ways
beyond our days
In devotion I linger
And with drained veins
I falter again
Some deranged and some devour to haunt me down in my darkest hour</center>
all this bitter pain
See you move in ways
beyond our days
In devotion I linger
And with drained veins
I falter again
Some deranged and some devour to haunt me down in my darkest hour</center>
- recovering4me
- spiffy maximus
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- Location: kansas Age:21
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i haven't drank or smoked since monday, exept cigarettes of course
Proud Member of NOB WHEATS
Not Old But We Hate Every and All Text Speak
Completely cut free since sometime in Aug, im not going back.
My Place
Sober since June 19
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
*grieving the loss of my little girl, Addie Leygh, RIP baby girl, mommy loves you*
Not Old But We Hate Every and All Text Speak
Completely cut free since sometime in Aug, im not going back.
My Place
Sober since June 19
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
*grieving the loss of my little girl, Addie Leygh, RIP baby girl, mommy loves you*
- Librariana
- building community
- Posts: 569
- Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:29 am
- Location: Southern California
I have a year and two months sober now. For some reason, I don't give a golly doo darn about that. I'm struggling so much with the SI that if I even HAD a desire to drink, it would take a back seat to my desire to hurt myself. And they are one and the same, really.
I've discovered in the four months since I posted in this thread that I am an alcoholic, yes...but thank God for that. The drinking kept me alive. If I hadn't spent every night for a year and a half locked in my bedroom downing 1-2 fifths of vodka a night, I would not be here to tell the tale.
My problem isn't the alcohol, my problem is ME. The booze was covering up the greater shame, which was cutting. As long as I could pass out every night, I rarely got to the cutting part; maybe once-twice a month.
When I really got honest with myself, I realized that I would far rather cut than drink. But some part of my brain decided that being a drunk was better than being a cutter.
Since I've been sober, the SI has escalated dramatically. To the point of no return, just about. I'm in some VERY heavy treatment for this right now, and I'm stable most days. But what I really wish for were AA type meetings for SIers. I need them, badly. AA saved me from the bottle; I worked hard and gave up my obsession to drink. I turned it over. I'm not able to do that with the SI. Yet.
:sigh:
<<not comfy in my skin today. Ickaroonie.
I've discovered in the four months since I posted in this thread that I am an alcoholic, yes...but thank God for that. The drinking kept me alive. If I hadn't spent every night for a year and a half locked in my bedroom downing 1-2 fifths of vodka a night, I would not be here to tell the tale.
My problem isn't the alcohol, my problem is ME. The booze was covering up the greater shame, which was cutting. As long as I could pass out every night, I rarely got to the cutting part; maybe once-twice a month.
When I really got honest with myself, I realized that I would far rather cut than drink. But some part of my brain decided that being a drunk was better than being a cutter.
Since I've been sober, the SI has escalated dramatically. To the point of no return, just about. I'm in some VERY heavy treatment for this right now, and I'm stable most days. But what I really wish for were AA type meetings for SIers. I need them, badly. AA saved me from the bottle; I worked hard and gave up my obsession to drink. I turned it over. I'm not able to do that with the SI. Yet.
:sigh:
<<not comfy in my skin today. Ickaroonie.
Be patient. 36 years is a long time to keep a secret.
It's official! The parts have finally arrived and I am now a complete moron.
It's official! The parts have finally arrived and I am now a complete moron.
- steady hands
- quintessential regular
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- splitimage
- board admin
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Been really triggered to both drink and to si this past week. I had 5 job interviews so my stress levels were really up. I won't drink though - I'm taking antabuse and my Nov. relapse really scared me. So far no si, I'm holding on, just barely. But I'll si before I drink.
"Don't go searching for a mermaid son, unless you know how to swim."
from The Mermaid - Great Big Sea
My blog is offline and has been down for a while due to a problem with the Isp and my web master. Working on rebuilding it.
from The Mermaid - Great Big Sea
My blog is offline and has been down for a while due to a problem with the Isp and my web master. Working on rebuilding it.
- steady hands
- quintessential regular
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- Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2005 2:05 am
- Angel12
- sock rocker
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I am 38 and have been on alcohol or dope or pills , or laxatives cause i want to loose weight soo bad. I finally don't feel like a freak, somebody is going through the same shit. It has been a week since i sh, but I am afraid because it has been a long time since I was off everything. I started drinking at 15. But hopefully some day I will be able to live my life without being under a cloud. I really want to stop using but I am afraid of who I am, cause I don't know anymore
. and sober
BUT STILL GETTING WASTED
. and sober
BUT STILL GETTING WASTED
- steady hands
- quintessential regular
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- recovering4me
- spiffy maximus
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- Joined: Mon May 29, 2006 5:25 am
- Location: kansas Age:21
- Contact:
Sober since march 15. only had a margarita at the bar last weekend. but now...
i really want to get drunk just to get away.
i really want to get drunk just to get away.
Proud Member of NOB WHEATS
Not Old But We Hate Every and All Text Speak
Completely cut free since sometime in Aug, im not going back.
My Place
Sober since June 19
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
*grieving the loss of my little girl, Addie Leygh, RIP baby girl, mommy loves you*
Not Old But We Hate Every and All Text Speak
Completely cut free since sometime in Aug, im not going back.
My Place
Sober since June 19
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
*grieving the loss of my little girl, Addie Leygh, RIP baby girl, mommy loves you*
- loveLights
- meeting the neighbors
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- Priceless
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In 6 days i will have 3 years drugfree, and i can say it does get easier, at least i has for me.
And i have a little over 5 months cigarette free.
im so proud of myself.
And i have a little over 5 months cigarette free.
im so proud of myself.
<center>
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Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
-- Frank Outlaw
Proud member of OATS - Oldies against text speak
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