What had happened just before?
Had an arguement with my b/f, was just trying at make it a nice day, as he working tom and cos I didnt have everyting planned out gets all moody with me which spirals and he thinks it really fckuing amusing which its not. So I walk off and left him in pub. Then when get home he throws everything back at me, cos the kitchen in the mess, which means Im shit. Just shouted at me over it, so unfair as I always do everything and forgot this time what with work dont know if im coming or going. Im overly senstive I know but just cant deal with all the critiscms and hatred right now.
what were you thinking and feeling?
That everything was my fault, no matter how hard I try I always mess up soemwhere along the line. Just dont want to be here I really cant cope with all the decisions I need to make and have no where to turn. So scared of everything next week and I cant do this on my own.
why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
The arguement just tipped me, evapoarted all my confidence anything that I can do this I can make things right just went.
How did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
Been building up all week, work decisions are panicing me as need ot make a decision by monday and im scared, dont know what to do. Wanted to cut all week, needed to calm down, needed some clairty, something physical to justify how I crap feel. SI was the only thing I knew would do it. I know that sounds screwed.
Were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Had one drink but dont think that affected me. Buying new stuff on way home didnt help, as wouldnt have had anything proper to use.
What other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
Reading destracting, but was just too upset to think.
I tried to ignore it for ages was meant to be 3weeks si free today. Just didnt work.
In retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Talking here I guess kept me safe all week
Name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
How do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
Well b/f is now acting like nothing happened typical. Whilst Im left feeling crap. I dont know what to do, we keep ending back here thought things were better but I dont know now. I just couldnt seem to control the situation, felt powerless which why si helps give me some control over soemthing even if it is pain (sorry I guess that sounds backwards). Once started couldnt stop till if looked enough for me
Are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Very poss this week, its decision week. Walking a very fine line.
What will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again?
Elastic bands, not tried that one before, red felt tipped pens used to work too although sometimes they trigger me even more.
Sorry I know all this sounds pathetic, just smallest thing now tipped me over and I don't know what to do. Trying to put it off all week has just built up all the reasons I used to do. Dont know how to sort this
