before....again

[toscared]

* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
The tension would go away

* what will hurting myself bring to the situation?
nothing really but the ache in the pit of my stomach would go away for a while
*what will it take away from the situation?
dignity

* how do i want to feel about this in the long run?
relaxed and confident
* is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
Farther away

* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? acouple of hours
what will i do then?sleep




* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? hormones, drought, bad decisions

* Have I been here before?yes What did I do to deal with it? si How did I feel then?dumb...and weak.....other people go through much worse and dont si

* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far?
exercised, practiced Mandarine, rode my horse, took an extra celexa
What else can I do that won't hurt me?the dishes

* How do I feel right now? like crying but afraid to

* How will I feel when I am hurting myself? stupid

* How will I feel after hurting myself? the tension will be gone
How will I feel tomorrow morning?frightened that someone will see




* Do I need to hurt myself? no

[plantt]

can you just notice the ache in your stomach... describe it... what does it feel like...

can def relate to being afraid of crying. yet really... *now* if bad things happen because i cry it's also because i'm the one who adds those things in. fear of crying was because of things that happened in the past... & the situation has changed.

could you do the dishes & things & then sleep?

[toscared]

I made it throurgh and did not SI
Hurray for me!!