how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
could make me feel more 'alive'
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will calm me down
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i want to feel calmer it will probably achieve this
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
half hour at most i dont know
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
i will be annoyed
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?getting pissed of at my fltmates and for some reason feeling very isolated and withdrawn
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
not so withdrawn
What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
came on bus
How do I feel right now?
urgy
How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
better
How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
annoyed at me whenit wears off
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
dont let things get to me so much?
Do I need to hurt myself? yes
bfore
Moderator: treasure
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styled_wrong
- beyond inspiring
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bfore
scars are tattoos with better stories
it's hard to answer the question whats wrong, when nothing is 'right'
Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant always see the pain someone feels
it's hard to answer the question whats wrong, when nothing is 'right'
Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant always see the pain someone feels
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tattybluetrees
- forum moderator emeritus
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- Location: London
Re: bfore
Hi. I hope it's okay for me to post a response to this. First, I think it's great that you came on BUS and posted this when you obviously feel distressed. Even if you end up acting on your urge, it's important to give yourself credit for trying other things.
I think it's good that you can identify what it is that you are trying to achieve. Once you've done that you can try and thinkof other things to bring about those ends. Is there anything else that you cann try to calm yourself down when you are feeling anxious? Are there other things which make you feel alive- perhaps which things which give you strong phyysical sensations? A cold shower or a run?
Is anxiety or not being able calm yourself down something which is a big problem for you? If so, it might be worth thinking about trying to learn strategiies for dealing with these sorts of feelings- I kknow that there are books you cann get which outline cognitive approaches to anxiety, or I find mediatation very helpful. This is that sort of thing that you have to think about longterm, though, because you have to practice it when you are feeling okay. Then as you get better at the techniques you find you can apply them to calm yourelf down when your thoughts start to escalate.
So it seems like although si will be effective immediately it wont be effective for very long? Is it, in that case, even a particularly good solution to what you are feeling? Isthere anything you can try whichmight last longer?
II can sympathise with feeling isolated and withdrawn. I hate feeling like that; it sucks and I don't have any useful solutions, I'm afraid. Just... I don't know. You're not alone, I guess.
Is there anyone you could possiibly talk to when you feel like that, a good friend maybe who would say the right things and make you feel less isolated?
As far as your flatmates go- what were they doing to piss you off? Is it something you can talk to them about or at least try to talk to them about? If they are making things worse for you then you shuld probably try and find a way of making them lay off.
Not letting things get to you so much is a pretty hard thing to do though. It sounds like you are blaming yourself for how your emotions are escalating. That seems pretty harsh to me. Some people just do get worked up over things- I know that I do, and iit doesn't help me if I am constantly telling myself to be better and not to let things get to me. Are there things you cold have done practically to avoid the stressor? Could you have done anything for yourself which would have made it easier for you to cope? Anything right back early on before things started getting to you?
I hope some of what I said here is a bit helpful. Sorry for going on for so long... I hope you're okay.
Take care.
Tatty
styled_wrong wrote:how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
could make me feel more 'alive'
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will calm me down
I think it's good that you can identify what it is that you are trying to achieve. Once you've done that you can try and thinkof other things to bring about those ends. Is there anything else that you cann try to calm yourself down when you are feeling anxious? Are there other things which make you feel alive- perhaps which things which give you strong phyysical sensations? A cold shower or a run?
Is anxiety or not being able calm yourself down something which is a big problem for you? If so, it might be worth thinking about trying to learn strategiies for dealing with these sorts of feelings- I kknow that there are books you cann get which outline cognitive approaches to anxiety, or I find mediatation very helpful. This is that sort of thing that you have to think about longterm, though, because you have to practice it when you are feeling okay. Then as you get better at the techniques you find you can apply them to calm yourelf down when your thoughts start to escalate.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i want to feel calmer it will probably achieve this
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
half hour at most i dont know
So it seems like although si will be effective immediately it wont be effective for very long? Is it, in that case, even a particularly good solution to what you are feeling? Isthere anything you can try whichmight last longer?
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?getting pissed of at my fltmates and for some reason feeling very isolated and withdrawn
II can sympathise with feeling isolated and withdrawn. I hate feeling like that; it sucks and I don't have any useful solutions, I'm afraid. Just... I don't know. You're not alone, I guess.
Is there anyone you could possiibly talk to when you feel like that, a good friend maybe who would say the right things and make you feel less isolated?
As far as your flatmates go- what were they doing to piss you off? Is it something you can talk to them about or at least try to talk to them about? If they are making things worse for you then you shuld probably try and find a way of making them lay off.
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
dont let things get to me so much?
Not letting things get to you so much is a pretty hard thing to do though. It sounds like you are blaming yourself for how your emotions are escalating. That seems pretty harsh to me. Some people just do get worked up over things- I know that I do, and iit doesn't help me if I am constantly telling myself to be better and not to let things get to me. Are there things you cold have done practically to avoid the stressor? Could you have done anything for yourself which would have made it easier for you to cope? Anything right back early on before things started getting to you?
I hope some of what I said here is a bit helpful. Sorry for going on for so long... I hope you're okay.
Take care.
Tatty
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styled_wrong
- beyond inspiring
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- Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:36 am
heya it was really usefull thank u im gunna take a bit to ork out answers then ill reply again xxx
scars are tattoos with better stories
it's hard to answer the question whats wrong, when nothing is 'right'
Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant always see the pain someone feels
it's hard to answer the question whats wrong, when nothing is 'right'
Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant always see the pain someone feels
-
tattybluetrees
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 3608
- Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2004 6:14 pm
- Location: London
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