Do pets help?

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Spirit
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Do pets help?

Post by Spirit » Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:34 am

I'm pretty new here.

I just found out last Wednesday that my 12 year old daugher SI's.

She loves animals.

Background: She lives one week at her Dad's, one week with me (with her 14 year old sister).

At my house she has a guinea pig. At her Dad's house she has a cat and 2 guinea pigs. I don't know if her SI is worse at my house or her Dad's or neither.

I keep wondering what things might calm her or soothe her. I can't imagine her going for a walk or journalling or drawing or writing to calm herself. She seems to be too young and too overwhelmed to be proactive about finding and using coping techniques.

I really don't want another animal.

But then, I really have balked at getting a cell phone and finally did today, so that she could reach me at all times. Maybe I need to re-think the pet thing. Man, I don't want food bills, vet bills, animal hair, cleaning animal messes etc, but if it would make a significant improvement in her stress levels, I guess I'd have to reconsider.

Can anyone tell me if having a cat or a dog really helped them get grounded and calm and prevent SI?

Man, I don't want another pet. But... I'll do anything that has a good chance of helping her.

spirit

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kelly_girl
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Post by kelly_girl » Mon Nov 21, 2005 10:23 am

Well I have 2 dogs and a Rat. It helps..but it dosen't stop me from self-harming.
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morganna
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Post by morganna » Mon Nov 21, 2005 12:35 pm

i have a bunny who i cuddle when i'm sad. i have read on here some people cats and dogs get upset when they get out their self harming tools and go to hurt themselves that would make me think twice. pets are a great distraction but if you really really can't handle one think of other ways to help her distract herself. can she come to you and say "i want to hurt myself now, lets talk about it?" that is a hard thing to do but might help

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Spirit
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Post by Spirit » Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:02 am

Thanks for the input.

I'm going to lean away from adding another animal right now. I thought if people felt animals significantly affected their SI in a positive way, then I should consider it. Seems like it probably won't have a huge affect, and she does have the guinea pig that she is responsible for.

I talked to her Dad about it tonight and he seems to agree.

The other part of this that I considered is that another animal, even if it helped, could be a crutch. I don't think crutches are always a bad thing, but knowing her temperment, I could see that if some time she wasn't with the animal she might use that as a justification to injure. I don't want to give her a coping mechanism that is outside herself. I'm hoping she can at some point learn coping mechanisms that she can take anywhere. Meditation, self-hypnosis, writing etc. I hope that made sense. Hard to make sense when you're still trying to make sense of it all.

spirit

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despair
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Post by despair » Sat Dec 03, 2005 4:00 am

I'm with you. vet bills are expensive. right now i have 10 pets and most of them are huge. they cost alot. they help me feel more loved but responsibility can be annoying for 10 of them.i lost within the last 3 years 27 of my other pets but only 1 is the reason im depressed. i think if youre going to get another animal you need to know that if she gets very attached to things that you dont give her one that shell devote herself to. the guinea pigs are good for her although they scare the hell out of me. i recomend that if you are serious about a pet that it be from the pound. that way she can relate to it in some way and theyll develope a connection. it certainly helps when people (or animals) know hwat youre going through.

oh and if you were wondering i don't own a zoo or pet shop.
animal colllecting is my hobby =]
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Post by toXic » Sat Dec 03, 2005 5:27 am

i saw on the discovery channel once that people who have pets for the majority of their life actually live longer on average... we've got 2 cats at my house, and as cute and cuddly as they may be, in times of need i still find that they don't quite help me at all..

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Post by marshmallowfluff » Sat Dec 03, 2005 12:12 pm

hiya

maybe it wouldnt be the best idea at the moment to get another pet, as yu dont wanna be paying for everything and the animal hair all over etc (what you said above) i ahave a cat (who got run over a week ago :cry:) who stopped my self harming. he'd nudge my hand till i stopped, or sit on me and refuse to budge until i put my "tool" away. if i took him off my knee, he'd jump back up. he'd sit on me, purring and kinda massaging me till i felt ok again. it was also theraputic, as someone else said, to sit and stroke him and cuddle him.

hope all is okay and take care
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