WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME???????? (ED)

[broken_words]

Yesterday i was supposed to go swimming with my mom and brother, and i really wanted to go...i put on my bathing suit FREAKED OUT!!!! I used to have an eating disorder, and just had a relapse about a month ago, and now my mind is telling me the same things it used to. I was at *x* lbs freshman year and now it's my senior year and i'm about *x* (i'm only 5'3)......that's sooo much weight in 4 years. I'm not fat and i know it , but when i look in the mirror i feel sick to my stomach and i don't eat and i feel soooo fat. I tell my self i'd rather die than look like i do, but the sad thing is i know i'm not fat....just larger than i used to be....WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME...WHY CAN'T I JUST GET OVER IT???????????????????????????????????????? AM I GONNA BE LIKE THIS FOREVER???
ANA LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(ana is a nickname for anorexia if you didn't know)

[angelic212]

i completely understand what you are going through i also struggle with an ed, and im struggling with the same thoughts that you are struggling with , you have to remember something, recovery doesnt happen over night , recovery takes time, and you have to take one day at a time . please pm me if you need to talk to someone about your ed situation, im a good listener and im always willing to help