After (First time doing this)

[neassa]

have you taken care of your physiacl wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes


what had happened just before?
I was on the phone to my best friend who was telling me how great her life was.

what were you thinking and feeling?
I felt frustrated because she wouldn't let me get a word in. I felt depressed because everything was going so great for her and because my life is so pathetic. Then I felt guilty for feeling this way.


why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was teh final straw? what was it?
Hearing my friend talk about how happy she was when i felt so depressed


what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried to listen to music but i just got a headache and felt even worse.


in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I could've played my guitar. I could've texted my friend and told her how i was feeling.


how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I still feel like my life is worthless. I feel like nothing is going right for me and never will. I could try not be so hard on myself when things go wrong and try not to blame myself so much.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yes. I will recognize it when nothing i do and nothing anyone says to me can make me feel any better about my life.


what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
I will play my guitar.
i will tell someone how i'm feeling.
i will list all the good things about myself and my life.

[demidivine]

"I could try not be so hard on myself when things go wrong and try not to blame myself so much."


true. hard not to find fault with yourself and blow it out of perspective. i don't really have anything constructive to say, but well done for posting it, i hope it was constructive... and i would just like to say, i've seen your posts around and i think you are a cool, fun, good person.

[neassa]

Thank you
It means a lot for someone to say something nice when you're feeling so low and so worthless.

[Tiarin]

I felt depressed because everything was going so great for her and because my life is so pathetic. Then I felt guilty for feeling this way.

i could relate to that a lot. i sometimes feel lousy when i hear about good things in my friends' lives, especially when things aren't going so well for me. and then i often make it worse by telling myself that i'm a bad friend and i shouldn't feel that way. but (as i keep trying to tell myself!) it's okay to feel bad about the difficult parts of your life. sometimes i find it helpful to just acknowledge the feeling, to let myself be sad about things that i wish were different.

when you talk about seeing your life as "worthless" or "pathetic," do you think that's linked to any particular emotion? (shame? regret? fear? anger? something else entirely?) and what frame of reference are you using to make that judgment? (is it based on what you see in other people's lives? your own beliefs about what your life should be like?)

i'm really sorry you've been feeling so low. it sounds like a miserable place to be. please take care.

dragonfly

[neassa]

Thanks dragonfly. I'll think about what you said and I'll try not be so hard on myself. I'll try not slip back into the darkness.

xxx