Alcohol and SI
Alcohol and SI
I guess I'm an alcoholic. I just have to drink when I'm alone, there's no other way to go about life. I'm on antidepressants, but I still don't want to live. Yes, I'm drunk right now. I don't want to stop cutting and burning, I just want this pain to go away...can you help me??????
Semiramis
It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn't in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get at.
from The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath
It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn't in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get at. from The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath
hi there... havn't seen you around bus, so welcome. just some questions that might help you think this through...
what does drinking do for you? how does it help you cope with things any better?
what are the negative side effects of drinking? make a list of reasons not to drink, and keep it somewhere you'll find it next time you're feeling lonely.
does drinking increase your self-destructive urges? what methods do you use to prevent yourself from both the drinking and the si?
is this alone you're talking about being physically alone or mentally alone? if it's physical, do you have somebody you trust enough to call and keep you safe?
you're on anti-depressants, and they do not mix well with alcohol. wondering if you have a therapist as well? if so, do you feel comfortable talking with him/her about the drinking as well as the si? if not, do you want one?
you can pm me answers if you want. or not answer them at all, just things to think about. i'm thinking of you.
love, tara.
what does drinking do for you? how does it help you cope with things any better?
what are the negative side effects of drinking? make a list of reasons not to drink, and keep it somewhere you'll find it next time you're feeling lonely.
does drinking increase your self-destructive urges? what methods do you use to prevent yourself from both the drinking and the si?
is this alone you're talking about being physically alone or mentally alone? if it's physical, do you have somebody you trust enough to call and keep you safe?
you're on anti-depressants, and they do not mix well with alcohol. wondering if you have a therapist as well? if so, do you feel comfortable talking with him/her about the drinking as well as the si? if not, do you want one?
you can pm me answers if you want. or not answer them at all, just things to think about. i'm thinking of you.
love, tara.
i thought i was a fool for no one, but baby i'm a fool for you.
[safe since february 2005.]
[safe since february 2005.]
Hi tara thank you for your reply!
I guess you're a Nirvana fan?! I am too! I'm reading a book about the band and specially about Kurt right now.
I don't have any methods to prevent me from drinking and SI. I don't want to stop. Ok, methods would be listening to music, relaxing...but I rather cut because it helps me more.
I'm sorry I am not even willing to make a list... I am sorry. Drinking and cutting both help me, and eating a lot does as well, and I don't want to get too old anyway. I mean, what's harder? Thinking of SI and drinking all the^time and then do it, or just think about it all the time and keep yourself from doint it?! Of course the first idea is easier, and that's what I do. I just don't see no other way. If the urges get too hard, I'll have to end my life, I guess. Not that I intend to do that!
tara thank you for your reply!I guess you're a Nirvana fan?! I am too! I'm reading a book about the band and specially about Kurt right now.
I don't have any methods to prevent me from drinking and SI. I don't want to stop. Ok, methods would be listening to music, relaxing...but I rather cut because it helps me more.
I'm sorry I am not even willing to make a list... I am sorry. Drinking and cutting both help me, and eating a lot does as well, and I don't want to get too old anyway. I mean, what's harder? Thinking of SI and drinking all the^time and then do it, or just think about it all the time and keep yourself from doint it?! Of course the first idea is easier, and that's what I do. I just don't see no other way. If the urges get too hard, I'll have to end my life, I guess. Not that I intend to do that!
Semiramis
It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn't in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get at.
from The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath
It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn't in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get at. from The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath
Yes, stopping self-destructive stuff does take a lot of effort, and you do need to have some other coping strategies in place before you're ready to do without the self harm and alcohol.
What struck me about your post was that you don't seem to think you're worth anything? Like, you make it sound like all the tragedy that could result from your continuing these things doesn't really matter. I'm glad you don't intend to end your life, but I think allowing your life to be taken over by drink and SI would be just as much of a waste.
Do you have any kind of help with these issues? Doctor, counsellor, irl support group? Perhaps you feel that even seeking help would be a tremendous effort. That's true, but I want you to see that <i>you are worth the effort</i>.
Love Laura
What struck me about your post was that you don't seem to think you're worth anything? Like, you make it sound like all the tragedy that could result from your continuing these things doesn't really matter. I'm glad you don't intend to end your life, but I think allowing your life to be taken over by drink and SI would be just as much of a waste.
Do you have any kind of help with these issues? Doctor, counsellor, irl support group? Perhaps you feel that even seeking help would be a tremendous effort. That's true, but I want you to see that <i>you are worth the effort</i>.
Love Laura
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