Sex abuse? Where 2 go from here? any advice?

[VowsOfSadness]

This was in WHAT COUNTS AS SEX ABUSE

. But he did put pressure on me — no ultimatums or "if you really love me" stuff, but going a little bit further than I had previously said I was comfortable with. He always apologized after I told him to stop, but he kept doing it.

Then one day things went too far, and he did something that I definitely didn't want. My confusion is because I didn't tell him "no" on that particular occasion, but I had told him several times in the past (including the day before) that I wasn't ready for it. So I don't know if that counts as abuse or not.

OMG this exact thing happened to me and only now reading your post have I thought to even mention it. It haunts me day in and out I didn't go all the way, but something he did I REALLY didn't want to do and I had told him that I wasn't ready for sex.

right before he did it I grabbed his hand I was never so scared in my whole life. "No don't" I said, but then he said just try and see if you like it, but i knew I wouldn't like it, I just took my mind somewhere else. When he saw me crying he said I'd be okay and he said he was sorry and he wouldn't do it again if I wasn't comfortable. He always did, I didn't say anything. He would never stop pressuring me so I just did it ... I hate myself

My ex bf was very bad relationship, the whole I couldn't go anywhere w/o him, i was always to blame a hoe and a slut (*sorry if lang*) and it took me many months to break up with hm (he harassed me afterwards and I ended up being admitted to a psyk ward in a hospital)

my ex took my hand & used to make me give him hand jobs and he used to touch me even though I didn't want to.

I feel so dirty and I know I am and I hope you don't think i am dirty what is wrong with me

Was it really sex abuse or do I just not what to admit what I did?

If it is (I hope it isn't) what is the next step what do I do now

[Mayalaen]

Anything that is done to you sexually that you don't fully consent to is sexual abuse. People have no right to do that to you.

I don't really have any advice but if you wanna talk about stuff I'd listen. Don't beat up on yourself because of it.... it was NOT your fault. People need to respect each others space.

[Neats]

Oh, that's from my post. I haven't posted on that topic in a while, but I've been dealing with it almost constantly since then. Sometimes it's real hard not to let it just eat me up inside.

right before he did it I grabbed his hand I was never so scared in my whole life. "No don't" I said, but then he said just try and see if you like it, but i knew I wouldn't like it, I just took my mind somewhere else. When he saw me crying he said I'd be okay and he said he was sorry and he wouldn't do it again if I wasn't comfortable. He always did, I didn't say anything. He would never stop pressuring me so I just did it ... I hate myself

That sounds so much like what happened to me. Except I didn't take my mind somewhere else, it left on its own. It was like I was watching everything from the outside, and I just kept staring at the ceiling because I couldn't make myself kick or cry or even wince.

A lot has happened since I posted about it. For one, I realized that he was sexually abusive through the length of the relationship, and that the specific incident that I posted about was more than abuse — it was rape. I also realized that for all the times he apologized, he never really cared if he hurt me, and he still doesn't recognize that he did anything wrong. I recently told my father and several of my friends about what happened.

Your situation isn't exactly the same as mine, but there are a couple things that I suggest you do. The first is to tell somebody about it. I know how hard that can be, but don't hold it all inside you. Let it out to someone you trust, whether that is a friend or a family member or a counselor/therapist. The second is to remember that it wasn't your fault, and you are not dirty. It's his fault, and he is the one who is dirty. Third, you may want to go to the police. What he did was sexual assault. I haven't gone to the police yet because I'm still afraid to, but I'm trying to work up the courage.

[aroobixcube]

any form of non concented sexual acts is sex abuse.

like you i had a BF who made me touch him and then told me i wasnt that good and that he finished the job later that day, neeedless to say i didnt stay with him. i have had 2 serious sexual assualts by strangers and i felt it very difficult to cope with.

If you see a therapst/counsellor, u need to tlak to them about this. If left unspoken about it cd begin to affect you mentally to a greater extent.

You may feel you want to report some of the things that you havent concented too?

but therapy and talking about it and gaining knowledge that you are not alone is definatly the right way to go about it.