Need advice on finding someone to vent to

[VowsOfSadness]

It has come to my attention that when I have an emergency or am having urges etc. one of the things I need the most is to vent to someone who can just understand and listen and all that, some one who can help me. I have lost most of my friends and I need to find someone that I can call who can handle a conversation about SI and all that. I don't know what to do. How can I find someone I can call? What should I do? Please give me some advice (I'm new to Secret shame).

Warm wishes,

Amanda

[nirvana]

hey there, i'm glad you found bus. welcome. i'm sorry you don't have anyone to listen while you vent, but i might have some ideas.

you said you lost most of your friends? do you have anyone that you trust, even if they're not especially close to you right now? do you have a way of making more friends? (school, work, gym, anything?) if you can, find some people with common interests; you'll probably find you have more things in common. i guess this one takes a while, to build up the trust and a strong relationship, but it's definately worth it if you take the time.

i'm not sure how long you've been dealing with things alone, but have you developed any ways of calming yourself down? what have you used to distract yourself when you're feeling triggered? what's worked, what hasn't worked, and do you want more ideas for how to cope?

those are just some things to think about. i'm willing to help you any way i can, and please feel free to pm me if you want. i'll definately listen. take care of yourself.
love, tara.

[noldo]

hello,
I'm sorry you don't have anyone you can talk when you need to vent. Nirvana had some good advice.
Finding friends, who are able to listen to you, is surely a good advice, but not very easily done and it will take some time.
As for the moment, do you need to really talk to someone or is writing in the internet a possibility as well? If yes, you can always vent here on bus... . Feel free to pm me or send me a message when I'm online. I'll answer and listen.
take care, noldo

[lilmissme]

Hi

To give you what you seem to want a) someone to vent to and b)a friend, you need to be looking for two separate people.

While friends can be wonderfully supportive, amazing people, to go looking for a friend just to support you seems to me unlikely to be a way to form a stable long lasting relationship. Look for a friend to be someone to trust and enjoy spending time with, and any other qualifying features you choose. If they end up supporting you, thats cool, but choosing a friend just as someone to vent to isnt fair on either of you.

It terms of having someone to call, the Samaritans or similar hotline is always good, they are especially trained to listen to vents rants and raves and deal with the emotional strain upon themselves.

Do you have a counsellor? Thats an option also

Good luck finding what you need and want,

Karen xx