what if I don't want to stop, eventhough I know I should

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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meap
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what if I don't want to stop, eventhough I know I should

Post by meap » Wed Oct 13, 2004 2:26 pm

So the problem is, I keep seeking help but when someone offers me that, I can't trust them and tell them about anything usually and I don't listen to their advise even if I wanted to! I keep making excuses to cut myself... I've only trusted so many people in my life and they've all failed me, how do I regain my trust in people again?
Get undressed and don't complain, you're an animal.

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finngirl
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Post by finngirl » Wed Oct 13, 2004 6:37 pm

maybe this is blunt---but you don't trust anyone esle---get to a point where you can trust YOURSELF--and maybe then everything else will fall into place....

ANd you won't stop until YOU want to stop--for you---not for anyone else.

I guess--I am being blunt---but I have been there and sometimes trusting yourself is harder than trusting anyone else.
"Because you want to," He finished the hanging sentence. "Because you like to cut. You like to watch the razor or the knife dance across your skin and you like the blood you bleed because it's red and that makes you just the same as everyone else. You bleed away all the anger and the emptiness and still get to prove to yourself that you're real." Copywrite belongs to AS

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Post by Space_Man » Wed Oct 13, 2004 7:10 pm

I mean no offence, meap, but is it at all a possibility that you are continuing to self-harm because it gets you attention from the people who are offering help?
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nirvana
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Post by nirvana » Wed Oct 13, 2004 10:28 pm

finngirl wrote:get to a point where you can trust YOURSELF
i was in the same place as you a while ago. but finngirl said exactly what i was about to. learn to trust your instincts, your actions, and your emotions. even if you don't always understand exactly what you're feeling, that's okay. you have to trust yourself and be ready and willing to accept help. i have major trust issues also, but set your boundaries. try and make them reasonable; if there's some things you just feel completely uncomfortable talking about, make sure no one forces you to. and if it helps, give people some time so they can earn your trust. not everyone will try to hurt you, and those that do it purposely don't deserve your time. try slowly opening up to people... instead of faking it when a good friend asks how you're feeling, tell them "sad" or "lonely", or however you are feeling. it's okay to be honest. and if they offer to listen, tell them only what you're comfortable with. after a while, opening up won't be as difficult.

good luck, and i'm always here to talk if you need me.
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Post by plantt » Thu Oct 14, 2004 11:35 am

how do I regain my trust in people again?
i guess going straight for 'don't trust anyone. just yourself' is one answer.
i have a different one though :)
you take a chance & trust someone. you *choose* to trust. imo a lot of trust is a choice rather than a 'feeling'.
yeah, you need to consider *who* you trust & all... i'm definitely not saying to just go & trust anyone & everyone with all aspects of your life.
someone told me 'you trust because you need to'. & for me that's very true.
i agree that trusting yourself is very important. i think more is needed for life though. sometimes we get ourselves into messes that we need help to get out of. & getting help requires a certain amount of trust.
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Bathelina
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Post by Bathelina » Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:14 pm

I know how you feel; at least I think I know how you feel.
I used to not listen; even though I did care, they are two different things, and I would just justify that SI was the right thing to do; I would make stupid excuses that justified SI and therefore no matter what anyone said, I found a way around it.

Talking to people more and trying to view the situation and what they say from their point of view really does help and is a good technique.

Good luck!
Lots of love,
Hannah :) :) :)
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