Before

[jadestarwalking]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

it will probably just make the situation worse. I want to hurt myself because of something my girlfriend is going through and she looses trust in me every time I self harm


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

easy anesthetic for emotional pain, no brainer. It will cause mistrust in the relationship I want to keep for the rest of my life.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

I am seriously trying to stop. I even have a safety reward system with my in home support staff where the longer I go without self harm the more rewards I get. So I have that, but I know SI is moving me away from health and wellness and that is what I really want, and SI will get me father from that.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

SI doesn't seem like the best option but the relief would only be temporary and I would most likely keep doing it until I feel so much guilt and shame I can't stand it.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

I could use my wisdom cards and my 1,001 ways to relax book. I would be proud of myself that I didn't engage in SI when I really wanted to. I would be calmer and more grounded. These feelings will last longer than SI will soothe me

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with

Tomorrow if I hurt myself I would feel dirty. I would feel like I was a failure. If I engaged in my book and cards, I would feel amazing that I got through a night that was hard without SI

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I want to use my cards and book. I will also journal about the situation

[treasure]

hi jadestar walking

congrats on finding alternatives to help you deal with your emotions. the widom cards and relaxation book sound really useful. how did it go?


ps. is that a savage garden quote in your sig?

[jadestarwalking]

it went pretty well actually. I did call the on call for my mental health providers too and that helped because the woman who was on call has talked to me in the past and she was saying how much I have improved in the one year I have been with them. That made me think, "is this the new me getting stuck on old behavior patterns? Absolutely." I did a little aromatherapy on myself too, using lavender oil. I also had hot cider to drink while I was using my cards and reading other ideas out of the book to use. The fact of the matter is that while I was reading my cards, using the lavender oil, and drinking the cider, I really didn't need to use any of the ideas I was reading about in my book! I was so proud of myself for getting through last night.


And absolutely that is a savage garden quote in my signature, from my fave song, two beds and a coffee machine!

[Scarlett_]

Hey,

Sounds like you used lots of great coping skills to cope with the urge. Liked the way you called and asked for help too. You should be proud of yourself

I like two beds and a coffee machine too. I've given up on them releasing a new album though.