slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
yes - what had happened just before?
I bought sharps and band-aids - what were you thinking and feeling?
All I could think of was how i'm a miserable fat failure and i wanted to cut - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I ate a candy bar. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I could have called someone. I called a hotline last night, and I've been texting with my counselor, and none of that helped. The urges didn't lessen at all. - were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Not really. I'm sober and I take my meds. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
Journaling, holding a piece of ice, posting here, talking to my counselor, calling a hotline. Nothing worked. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I don't know. I'm at the end of my rope. - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I don't see the point, when my coping skills just don't work. - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
My eating disorder is trying to kill me. I need to talk about it more in therapy. - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Oh, yeah. I don't know when if ever I'll learn to eat normally without feeling guilty. - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Like I said, I don't see the point when my coping skills aren't working at all.
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
I had new tools and band-aids. - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
I made the opportunity. I consciously went out and bought tools and band-aids. - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I probably would have found a way to cut anyway. There are other sharp things in this house. - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
It would probably be the same. - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
New tools is a big one. Being alone is another. I've been isolating a lot the past few days. - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
I would probably throw fits.
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.
- Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?
I don't know. I just wanted to. - If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?
n/a - What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?
Journaling, holding a piece of ice, posting here, talking to my counselor, calling a hotline. As I said, they didn't work. - Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?
I don't know anything else to do. - If No - What coping skills got me through?
I didn't get through. I cut. - Why do I think they worked?
n/a - How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?
I don't know. I need to learn to eat normally. But I just can't.
