* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I feel really out of control and really depressed. I have been so stressed out with school and my life in general.
* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I have, but not this bad. I was able to just ride it out and avoid doing anything, but this time is different.
* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I binged, which actually made everything worse.
* How do I feel right now?
Out of control and really alone. I don't feel like I'm real.
* How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
At ease. Like all the bad stuff is being released from my body. Relieved.
* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Guilty and self-loathing. I'll hate myself and want to punish myself. I'll be scared that my fiance' will find out and leave me.
* Do I need to hurt myself?
I think I do, but a small part of me knows I shouldn't. I just want to feel better, at least just for a little while.
Before
Moderator: treasure
- -manda-
- unpacking boxes
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2005 5:32 am
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- Location: Oklahoma
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Before
"You make it sound so easy to be alive, but how am I supposed to seize this day if everything inside of me has died?"
~The Spill Canvas~
"Self-injurers are often bright, talented, creative achievers - perfectionists who push themselves beyond all human bounds, people-pleasers who cover their pain with a happy face."
~A Bright Red Scream~
“Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart.”
-Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club-
~The Spill Canvas~
"Self-injurers are often bright, talented, creative achievers - perfectionists who push themselves beyond all human bounds, people-pleasers who cover their pain with a happy face."
~A Bright Red Scream~
“Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart.”
-Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club-
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