OT? - how to "break up" with a friend?

[faegirl]

I need help. There's a woman in my life that I no longer want to be friends with. I decided this 2 months ago, and I really should have told her already... instead, I've just been ignoring the texts and emails she's been sending. (I'm horrible, I know, but that's neither here nor there.) But she's the type of person who will try four times as hard to get your attention rather than back off... so I think I really need to say something... because the 5 emails a day is starting to get on my nerves.

I just don't know what to say to her. If she was a guy and we were dating, I don't know that I'd have trouble figuring out what to say. But I've never had to break up with a friend... usually my friendships end in some big argument where neither of us WANTS to talk to the other person anymore.

I haven't enjoyed this woman's company in several months. She constantly asks me to talk about things I've told her I don't want to talk about. When she's not doing that, she's not listening to me at all - she will literally interrupt me mid-sentence on a completely unrelated topic and never apologize or ask me to continue what I was saying. She tells me WAY too much about her personal life. I think I know more about her sex life than I know about my own. And she'll laugh and say, "you probably don't really want to know this," and I will very seriously say, "you're right, I really don't" and she'll keep right on talking about very intimate details about her sex life. (I know I'm not perfect and I feel kinda bad that I'm bad-mouthing her, but this is how I feel.)

All of this was enough, but 2 months ago when I saw her last, she took a phone call while we were driving (which I think is rude to do when you're with someone) and spent 10 minutes on the phone with one of her co-workers b*tching about my mom, who also works with them. While she was on the phone, I suspected she was talking about my mom, but was trying to not jump to conclusions... but when she finally hung up, she flat out told me they were talking about my mother. I was really upset, but don't like to show that... so I tried to inquire without trying to appear too hurt or interested. I cried for almost 2 days while trying to decide whether or not to tell my mother that her co-workers, one of whom claimed to be my friend and my mom's friend, were talking behind her back.

I guess I could just tell HER all of this, but I'm not feeling like that's the best course of action. Telling her how upset I was that she was talking about my mom - well I think all that will lead to is her apologizing and trying even harder to be my friend again. I'm not interested in her apology; I'm not sure I'd believe it anyway. And I didn't want to be her friend anymore before that, and I am kind of thinking that maybe I'm just finally able to justify to myself that I don't have to like her or be her friend.

Ok that was kind of long winded. I'm really interested in people's opinions on what to say to her. I plan on doing this via email when I finally decide what to say. Thank you for reading and for any advice you can give.

[Spidey]

First off, tell your mother what's going on - she deserves a heads up about this.

Could you say something like "I think that we are drifting apart from each other and I think it's time that our friendship comes to a close", or something like that?

Good luck.

[faegirl]

Thank you for responding Electric Prophet.

I did tell my mom a few days after it happened. She was mostly upset because of how upset I was rather than what was said about her. I think maybe she already knew that these women were talking behind her back.

Could you say something like "I think that we are drifting apart from each other and I think it's time that our friendship comes to a close", or something like that?

I think that's a good starting place.