New Here - Looking for suggestions

[AWUN]

Hi - I am a new member and I am looking for some suggestions.

I have been seing a therapist for a little while now, I like her, and I think I could trust her. I want to tell her about the SI because I want to stop, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I have never willingly told another person before (although a couple of people found out by accident, and it didn't go well).

I have tried rehearsing what I was going to say but would freeze up in my session. I have tried writing it down, but couldn't bring myself to give it to her. I have even thouht about "accidently" letter her see it, but again, just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I get too scared. I don't know what to do now. If anyone has any suggestions that might make this easier, I would be so greatful. I just don't want to feel bad anymore, but I am having a hard time telling.

[zazie]

I know that one thing that scares me a lot about the letter situation is the prospect of having to watch someone read it. Would it be helpful for you to hand it to her at the end of the session, and ask her not to open it until you're out of the room?

[NobodyToYou]

I think it may just take some time.
I know I was really really unsure I wanted to talk to my T about the SI, cause I didn't know if I trusted him enough... and we actually talked about that... he responded really well and didn't push to know, cause he respected that I might not trust him enough at that point and talked about the reasons behind the "tell/not tell" dillemma. And it helped. I was still really scared of talking about it, but I was able to do it after that (not that day though...next session).

So it may be that you just aren't ready yet or that you need to be able to trust this person a bit more before talking about this. That is ok. But it may also help if you let them know there are other issues that need work, but that you are too afraid to talk about them and that the "fear of trusting people" or whatever it is for you needs work first.