Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I will feel significantly worse long term but short term it will bring release - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will bring calmenes and clarity, it will take away a hard fought 3 year battle - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
further away because this feeling is just the accumulation of being tired and everything that has happened recently - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
only a short while, probably go to sleep feeling gguilty and ashamed - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
fill in these questions (which is focusing me) chat to P on msn. it will calm me down and take away some of what i am feeling by putting it into words. hopefully i will be asleep before this wears off - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
very disappointed and a failure. not the former - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
