feeling defeated

[Stefani140]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

I won't be on the verge of crying at the office. I will feel more in control and be able to get back to working.


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It will bring control and focus. I really don't know that it will take away anything, it won't even take away the amount of time I haven't SI'd since I already did once today.


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

A few hours probably. But then I'll be at home and able to let myself cry and be emotional.


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself?

guilty


Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

My boyfriend has just been a royal jackass for days and doesn't seem to care at all...and doesn't see how he's done anything that I should be upset about.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far?


answering these questions....taken a walk, talked to another friend.


How do I feel right now?

upset, depressed, defeated...completely and utterly defeated.


Do I need to hurt myself?

I don't know. I really don't know.