before

[ambivalent red]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I can take my mind of the situation.


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
I can refocus on my leg, not my overwhelming work.


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

Right now, closer. But later my Hubby will see.


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
Maybe the rest of the work day then I will take some Klonapin for my interview.


what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I can call my hubby but I'm at my new job. I can cry but Im at my new job. This si the only thing I can secretly do at my job.


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Mu hubby will have to see it.


what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now
do my work or take some drugs. (klonapin)