Before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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chasey
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Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2008 10:11 am
Location: UK

Before

Post by chasey » Tue Mar 11, 2008 12:30 am

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:


* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?


I will feel relieved and feel in control of my emotions

* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?


* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

Closer. I want to be free of the pain I feel right now.

* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

The relief will last until I fall asleep and i might get a full nights sleep

* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?


Not alot. I need to go to bed. I feel like shit. I feel lonely. There is nothing I can do really. I'm scared if I don't i won't sleep.

* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?



* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I want to be with my ex..but that just makes me hurt even more


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer


* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?


I feel lonely. I feel like no one cares. I miss my Mum. I hate that I don't see my sister because she lives on the other side of the world. I miss my ex. I hate myself for pushing here away.

* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

Yes.

* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

* How do I feel right now?

* How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

In control of my life. I will feel like I am punishing myself for pushing her away.

* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

* Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

* Do I need to hurt myself?

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