After

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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labbaw
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After

Post by labbaw » Sat Mar 01, 2008 8:41 pm

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Sort of

what had happened just before?

what were you thinking and feeling? Hurt, angry, betrayed, overwhelmed, and extremely sad

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it? The final straw was my bf taken ANOTHER overdose after he PROMISED he wouldn't. And I had the pills in my backpack where they were supposed to be safe, which meant he went into my space to get them. (They were his pills though).

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw. I just don't know...honestly I just do not know. I have been feeling urgy and overwhelmed for days. We've been at the hospital every single day for 5 days for my bf's mom (who's like a mom to me too). My son who's in foster care is in a bad situation and I'm worried about him. I haven't heard from him in days. So if anyone reads this, please tell me where I could've made a different decision here.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how? Lack of sleep. I definitely need to get better sleep (not like now where I'm up at 12:30 a.m.).

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work? I came on here...I did some other computer/online stuff to distract myself, I put on a soothing movie, I petted my cat and loved him. They worked well enough for the time being. Then they eventually stopped working.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they? I'm wondering about instituting a meditation practice into my daily routine. I've been meaning to do that anyway.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again. I've already written down the meditation idea and a whole list of "coping strategies". Also, I will write it down and tape that piece of paper up where I can see it every day.

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution? I'm still really hurt and angry. No it's not resolved as far as I'm concerned. I already took one step in that I wrote my bf an email and sent it. The other step is to talk to him.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation? Unfortunately it seems that I will. I will recognize it by the panicky feeling I get and that feeling of wanting to get even with my bf for hurting me, so I wanted to hurt him back.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying. Meditate, go for a brisk walk, drink some hot tea while watching a kid's movie


About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.

What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
My bf was asleep and it was easy to SI

Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking? It was there for the taking

What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge? I think I was so desperate that I would've created one.

If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased? Increased at that point.

What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling? Being alone or have ready accessibility to tools

If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel? I don't know.
There is a reason for everything.
Hugs welcome
SI-free since Sept 3 2008

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