Paranoia - fighting & coping

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Callisto
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Paranoia - fighting & coping

Post by Callisto » Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:44 pm

as the title suggests, i have a tendency to get a bit paranoid about things especially anything related to people and making new friends etc etc.

so as i struggle with this a lot and it can lead to jumping to conclusions, stupid over-reactions etc i was wondering if anyone has any tips for fighting paranoia or coping with it. At the very least i need help on how to keep it contained as when my paranoia escalates i get very urgey and upset and act irrationally, which isn't good for keeping myself safe.

so tips please! :)

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Binayshee
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Re: Paranoia - fighting & coping

Post by Binayshee » Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:45 pm

i am working on this too. one thing that
helps sometimes is to check things out with
other people, if it's a situation where that
would be appropriate. you know, check
out if what you are perceiving/interpreting
is what is going on with them. i just recently
realized how much i have a problem wtih
paranoia. before that, i just thought i was
always right if i got that feeling, and i couldn't
believe that the feeling didn't mean that was
definitely what was going on. so now i have
been paying attention to it, and i am tracking
it, kind of. you know, noticing when it happens
and what the situation is, and how i've been
overall that day. so for now, that's where
i am at with it. trying to track it and learn
more about it. when it tends to happen.
why. how it relates to my overall mood
that day, etc. hope that helps.

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Post by whatever » Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:04 pm

i've recently taken to asking my paranoid questions (do you think i'm stupid? are you mad at me? do you think so and so thinks i'm an idiot?) out loud, to a good friend, someone whose judgement i trust.
1) it makes me listen to myself, and often just saying it out loud helps me realise i'm being paranoid or at least question my 'paranoid' thoughts
2) i can get some reassurance

writing down questions might also help, too, if you can manage to not-obsess about it.

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Post by Binayshee » Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:30 pm

ooh! i got another one. wearing headphones (or
earplugs) in crowded places. sometimes i feel
"super tuned" in to other people's voices, tones,
gestures, movement. so to shut out the sound
part helps (when it is safe to do so.)

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lily_trying
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Post by lily_trying » Fri Jan 04, 2008 12:21 am

Paranoid thinking is one of my biggest issues, so I'm not sure exactly how good of advice I have, but I wanted to write to say I definitely relate.

Like the above replies mention, one of the biggest things that help me are "checking out" the thoughts somewhere outside of myself -- when it can still be appropriate to the situation, the ideal is for me to talk about it/check it out with the person I am having the thoughts or worries about. But since that isn't always a possibility, talking about it/checking it out with another person outside of the situation can also help (in some ways, perhaps moreso). & If there isn't another person to check in with, then writing it out somewhere also can work -- seeing it written/typed out sort of detaches it enough that it's easier to look at sometimes. (If you've read stuff on or have been in CBT-type therapy, the challenge thought & replace thought type of exercises could fit in well with writing the thoughts out... I think I saw a post in the sourcebook on this here actually.) I've never tried it but I like the idea posted of "tracking" it too.

When the paranoia is adding to my urges or making me feel unsafe, for me the best thing is to distract myself as much as I can until the thoughts subside a bit or until the urges subside a bit -- and then work on the thoughts. If I'm working on the thoughts on my own, I try to feel as safe as possible first before doing so... whatever skills & things make you feel safest (for me it's distractions) are good to have available when working on the thoughts or just when you notice the thoughts are there.

With some of the paranoia when this can fit in with the situation or thoughts, what helps is to try to just hold off on those thoughts or on acting because of them for a set time -- like the idea used for SI of "I will stay safe for *such & such amount of time* & then check in with the urges again," I'll use the same thing for the paranoia... (an example would be if I'm irrationally worried about someone & asking how they are too often, I will use that challenge of not asking them that question for however long, and then check in again, etc etc...).

With things relating to people & new friends or new situations, I definitely find helpful for coping is to try to have things around (either tangible things or just visualization) that are familiar & comforting already, or things that remind me of a time that I felt confident/happy/safe.

I hope at least some of this made sense. ;) Take care... :star:

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Post by Callisto » Fri Jan 04, 2008 10:18 am

thanks to all of you for contributing. Lily, I found your post very very helpful...especially things like the time limits bit and the using past things to remind you of times you felt happy/confident.

thanks again everyone & keep 'em coming :)

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Licentia Poetica
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Post by Licentia Poetica » Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:13 am

check out this here..
:redstar: the time to tell a person you care is now :redstar: the paper crane chain of hope :redstar:

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If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins

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Post by lily_trying » Sat Jan 05, 2008 1:53 am

Seeing the link above reminded me to look in the sourcebook for the thread I was thinking of before, I think this is it -- http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... 9737a5531a . Looking through the sourcebook again it seems like there's a lot of threads that could apply or help with things like paranoia, etc.

I'm glad things in my post were helpful, I was afraid I wasn't making any sense at all at the time, lol! ;) If you ever want or need to talk about things like this (or anything) more, my PM box is open. :star:

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Post by Callisto » Sat Jan 05, 2008 10:19 pm

thank you for the linkage El...i did have a copy of those somewhere but it disappeared....im going to print that post off instead as it helps to realise that my thinking is distorted so that i can work on it.

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