Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I'll feel better for a little bit, but then I'll feel really guilty for SI'ing when I'm pregnant - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Hurting myself will bring temporary relief. It will take away the month and a half I've gone without SI and will take away my willpower to keep going to the end of this pregnancy without SI'ing - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel stable. Normal. Not Bipolar. I have 2 weeks till my pdoc appt and can't make it any earlier - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
I'm not sure how long it will last. Surely not long enough. I'll probably fall asleep before the relief wears off. Tomorrow will be hell though - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could take my medicines early and just go to sleep. It will prevent me from SI'ing and maybe I can call my pdoc tomorrow morning first thing to try to get in. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I'll feel like shit if I SI. I'll feel cruddy but accomplished if I don't - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I need balance. I need to feel normal for just one moment
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? Yes, and I cut, and it worked for the time being
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? I've taken a hot shower, and I've posted here and responded to some posts on main
I could take my meds and go to sleep - How do I feel right now?
Unstable - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
In control of what I feel - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
More level, controlled. I'll feel either numb or like complete shit tomorrow - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
My symptoms have been coming back slowly but surely. I could have called my Pdoc earlier. But I didn't. I don't know why. Maybe figured if I ignored it it would go away...thats dumb though - Do I need to hurt myself?
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
