write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
Well it wont, I'll just feel like I can finally put myself first.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Perhaps more confidence, perhaps less to finally talk upto my parents, probs less than more, I don't know.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
More able to talk about things and understand why I feel like this when I am angry at family. And it wont change anything.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It'll last for a good few hours before my parents get back. When they get back it's back to good ol' lying about how I've had a good day.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Well I could have something to eat, something hot to drink, and watch my randomly favourite News Channel on the TV. It'd keep me distracted for a good while, it still wont change the situation with my parents, but it'll be a good distraction.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Tomorrow, I'd feel probably more willing to hurt myself again as I know how good it feels. The other thing, well I'd still feel urgy to cut anyway.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to self-injure. And I didn't understand the second part of that question, sorry
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
Because I know that when I cut, I can then take care of my cut, and I can take care of myself then, just focus on the cuts that I've produced and...just take care of myself, something I seem to neglect often.
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I've been here before, and I slipped, I admit I didn't think of other ideas, I did try to write on paper but it seemed too much effort and cutting was the easier option. I felt better in the short term, but in the long term, covering up the cuts and keeping quiet was extremely difficult.
What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Sort of nothing, last night when I first got the urges I had my hot chocolate and listened to my favourite music, otherwise this morning I had only posted for advice on BUS and that is it so far.
How do I feel right now?
Angry, not on the same terms as my parents, alone, neglected, rejected, sick of it all, just want to sort myself out.
How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Able to focus on something that to me is important...myself.
How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
I'd probably feel better for the first few hours, seeing that I can get rid of the emotional pain physically. Tomorrow morning I might not feel any different, because I know I can cover up the cuts well.
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I can't avoid it, my parents lack the ability to care, and to deal with it, I just don't know right now.
Do I need to hurt myself?
It still feels like the easy way out, and I'll try some stuff before answering this question...for now I don't think so...
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
