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I have always found formatting the questions after I've copied them a pain. So I've put in the tags for you. Just copy and paste and the questions should show up bold and in list form.
Before:
Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? It wll not change.
- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? It will bring me more calmness or feeling like I have control over something.
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? It will get me farther, I know this for a fact and yet...
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? The relief will last only until I have to worry about someone finding out. If no one does then only unitl tomorrow because I will feel like I have to tell my T.
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? Take a walk, get into public, remember the good things about myself, remember that this is a temporary situation.
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? IF i hurt myself, I will undoubtedly want to hurt myself again. I will feel more shame and guilt. If I do nto I will feel proud of myself for choosing something else
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I can admit that I am feeling down adn somwhat out of control and not use those feelings against myself
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? feeling a loss of control and being in a realm of the unknowns. Not haveing control over much. this situation feeds into my guilt and shame.
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? Yes I have been here before and I have cut and then after a brief time of feeling better, I felt worse.
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? I have followed my T's words, I have remembered the good things, I have looked at that list , I have tried to talk about it some today as well instead of keeping it inside
- How do I feel right now?
Kind of crappy - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
I will feel in control - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? I will feel calm and like it was right, better then tomorrow I will feel worse and I will be back to fighting a constant battle
- Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
- Do I need to hurt myself?
I have not felt this badly for about a week, I am making progress in therapy and then boom, I was not prepared to be back here so soon. I will continue to fight.