Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
Stuff was brought up for me badly last night, I saw written a lot of what had happened to me, stuff that I knew but that I had chosen to try not to think about. As well as that I was writing something about a kid I should have had. So I am upset.
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It won't. I have been doing that basically all night and it hasn't changed it in the slightest. So one more or less batch of cuts isn't going to make a significant difference except to me. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It won't change it at all, as I've been cutting a lot overnight, it won't make a difference. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I don't know. A part of me wants to die, another part wants to win. The win part will be hurt if I cut, and I've only just decided that I might consider not cutting. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It won't last. I know that. And if I cut this time, I will cut again and again. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could stay online, and try to get a grip on how I feel. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Tomorrow, if I feel better, then I will be proud if I did beat the urges. If I don't beat them then it won't make a difference. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to reach out and say help and not cut
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
See above - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I cut when I get like this, I cut and it helps. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I haven't tried. This is my trying. - How do I feel right now?
Scared, unsafe, drifty, tearful - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Safe. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Straight after, I'll feel great. Tomorrow morning, I'll feel no different - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
No, I need to face this stuff for it to improve - Do I need to hurt myself?
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